It's deep
and Dark
and bigger than all of us.
And pain is like a thief in the night.
Quiet.
Persistent.
Unfair.
Diminished by time and faith and love.
hands down, one of the best One Tree Hill Episodes I've ever seen. (OTH s 06, ep 03)
Friday, 19 September 2008
from One Tree Hill
Grief is like the Ocean.
It's deep
and Dark
and bigger than all of us.
And pain is like a thief in the night.
Quiet.
Persistent.
Unfair.
Diminished by time and faith and love.
hands down, one of the best One Tree Hill Episodes I've ever seen. (OTH s 06, ep 03)
It's deep
and Dark
and bigger than all of us.
And pain is like a thief in the night.
Quiet.
Persistent.
Unfair.
Diminished by time and faith and love.
hands down, one of the best One Tree Hill Episodes I've ever seen. (OTH s 06, ep 03)
Thursday, 18 September 2008
Pre-Birthday Blues
im getting uglier by the day. (no, im not fishing)
but i'm starting not to care about it.
maybe i really am getting old.
------
i don't feel like celebrating like what i did a year ago. One, because my annual karl-to-karl time capsule/letter to self which i send to myself every year, to be read on my next birthday -- well, this year, i was too caught up in all the med craps that i FORGOT to write a letter for my 22nd birthday. I started doing this since highschool, initially, it's for me to see how my style of writing changes every year, and i found out it was fun doing it so i did it till college till last year. I have no idea why i forgot to make one for this year. crap.
Two, because if i'll make libre to one set of friends, i have to treat the other set of friends, then the brods, then bio friends, then DWTL friends, then HighSchool friends, then family -- kung pag-iisahin ko man ang celebration dito sa tahanan, sasasabog ang bahay. Sasabog sa kasiyahan. pero, sasabog din dahil di talaga magkakasya. So wag nalang siguro.
Three. My sched is not hectic. But on my birthday week, it will be. Para Long Exam, Micro Prax, Due of Micro Manual, Med Week, Medisine, Meetings, DWTL Weekend, -- bull crap -- why didn't God evenly distributed these hectic days into my very lax days like this week? (Hmmm, what did I do this week nga ba?)
I really don't feel like celebrating. Of course some people will say that, "Why not? you have to thank God for the year, and more bdays to come blablablabla." Well, I thank God eveyday for my life, and I'm happy with my life. (Though i could be more happier, but what the heck.)
---
Well. But. no matter what i say, 22 years ago, my Mum is wearing her maternity dress silently caressing her tummy while my Dad is in Medschool probably studying for an exam.
Maybe they're scared that they will become parents soon.
Maybe they got scared of the road they'll tread just because i'm already conceived (my Mum is almost employed as a flight attendant na sana before "I" happened)
Maybe my Dad was scared that He'll have a hard time raising me while he's still studying.
Maybe i'm not really part of their plans.
Fear couldve let them do things that may result to my nonexistence.
but no.
they didnt let me go.
maybe that's reason enough to celebrate.
(but ill just celebrate inside my heart. wahahah. baduuuy!)
but i'm starting not to care about it.
maybe i really am getting old.
------
i don't feel like celebrating like what i did a year ago. One, because my annual karl-to-karl time capsule/letter to self which i send to myself every year, to be read on my next birthday -- well, this year, i was too caught up in all the med craps that i FORGOT to write a letter for my 22nd birthday. I started doing this since highschool, initially, it's for me to see how my style of writing changes every year, and i found out it was fun doing it so i did it till college till last year. I have no idea why i forgot to make one for this year. crap.
Two, because if i'll make libre to one set of friends, i have to treat the other set of friends, then the brods, then bio friends, then DWTL friends, then HighSchool friends, then family -- kung pag-iisahin ko man ang celebration dito sa tahanan, sasasabog ang bahay. Sasabog sa kasiyahan. pero, sasabog din dahil di talaga magkakasya. So wag nalang siguro.
Three. My sched is not hectic. But on my birthday week, it will be. Para Long Exam, Micro Prax, Due of Micro Manual, Med Week, Medisine, Meetings, DWTL Weekend, -- bull crap -- why didn't God evenly distributed these hectic days into my very lax days like this week? (Hmmm, what did I do this week nga ba?)
I really don't feel like celebrating. Of course some people will say that, "Why not? you have to thank God for the year, and more bdays to come blablablabla." Well, I thank God eveyday for my life, and I'm happy with my life. (Though i could be more happier, but what the heck.)
---
Well. But. no matter what i say, 22 years ago, my Mum is wearing her maternity dress silently caressing her tummy while my Dad is in Medschool probably studying for an exam.
Maybe they're scared that they will become parents soon.
Maybe they got scared of the road they'll tread just because i'm already conceived (my Mum is almost employed as a flight attendant na sana before "I" happened)
Maybe my Dad was scared that He'll have a hard time raising me while he's still studying.
Maybe i'm not really part of their plans.
Fear couldve let them do things that may result to my nonexistence.
but no.
they didnt let me go.
maybe that's reason enough to celebrate.
(but ill just celebrate inside my heart. wahahah. baduuuy!)
Tuesday, 9 September 2008
True Brown Style at Temple Street
the Ultimate Highschool Gangwar.
naisip ko lang. meron pa bang mga ganto o lahat na sila Tau Gamma na? Meron pa ba sa HS na TST at TBS? anong mga napala ng mga kageneration ko nung nag TST/TBS sila? nagsisisi ba sila nun?
astig lang isipin. isa sa mga nakakatawang balikan nung HS Days.
haha
naisip ko lang. meron pa bang mga ganto o lahat na sila Tau Gamma na? Meron pa ba sa HS na TST at TBS? anong mga napala ng mga kageneration ko nung nag TST/TBS sila? nagsisisi ba sila nun?
astig lang isipin. isa sa mga nakakatawang balikan nung HS Days.
haha
Saturday, 6 September 2008
Leaning towards Pedia
This is weird. I'm beginning to like kids. And babies.
I never liked kids. Lalo na yung mga uhugin at mga mukhang tiyanak. Lalo na yung mga maiitim at saksakan ng kulit. Lalo na yung mga pinipindot ang reset sa computer pag naglalaro ako. Lalo na yung mga all of the above. Oh my F Ghod.
But lately, i realized whenever i pass by the hospital wards that.
1) I'm giving kids a second look
2) and i smile at them
3) and sometimes i say 'hi' to them (strangers yung mga yun a)
4) and it draws a big smile on my face.
5) and i never do the things above when an extremely hot chick passes by. (ang weird nun pag ganun, mag h-hi ako bigla at magssmile kahit di ko kilala?)
but anyways, maybe it all started to change when these babies were born:
(L-R)
my inaanak, kyle misa. the youngest in our generation. bien and jeanne. the first 2 morana next-gens. kahlil jacob. the first grand grandson from the first grand daughter of my grandmother
and Paul. from Kuya Pao.
These kids... These kids with the cute little limbs, and sparkling little eyes of amazement whenever they look at a new toy, their inquisitive little hands, their exploring feet, their exponentially growing number of cells, their highly developing psyche, completing early stages of Freud, sucessfully passing Piaget's checklist -- yeah, the cuteness list goes on -- i can say that these kids are the reasons why i those kids are starting to have an impact on me.
Suddenly i find myself involuntarily contracting my zygomatics and spontaneously sparkling my own eyes trying to get the kid's attention. Even though most of the time, i'm freaking the kids out.
Chino Joven once told me he wanted Pedia as his spec. I asked him why, and his answer was so like a UST-Med-Entrance-Interview-Answer: "It's because those kids are too young to get sick. That they are so innocent to get sick. That it is not their fault to get sick." (o Chino, inenglish ko pa diba?)
That exact moment when he told me that, i thought of my dream Specialization, Surgery and said, "Oo nga no? Kasi ako, if ever man, yung mga ooperahan ko, ooperahan dahil lagi silang nagyoyosi kaya Lung Transplant, o umiinom kaya aayusin ang Liver, o kumakain ng madami kaya may Gastric Bypass at Lipo, o nagdrive ng lasing kaya naaksidente, o dahil tanga lang sila kaya nabalian ng buto. Minsan kukupalin ka pa nila at sisigawan...."
and i silently thought..."pero pag bata yun, umiiyak lang sila.... Oo, siguro minsan may tulo-uhog effect pa sila at magfflash yung mga bungi nilang mga ngipin, pero, oo nga, masyado pa silang bata para makaranas ng sakit diba? Theyre too cute to get sick. Theyre too innocent to ingest Enterobius on their mouths, they're too fragile to feel the pain of a Kidney stone (one of my nephews, who is only twelve already has one :c .) and worst, some are too young to be dead (One of my Nephew died because of Leukemia. And he's just around 2years old nun :c )
nakakatakot na baka di man lang nila maenjoy ang childhood, teenage years, sex, drugs, at rock and roll. Nah.
From that day on, those sickly kids in the streets for me don't look that tiyanak-ish anymore... Now i'm looking at them at a different spark, at a whole new different light. That they are, like what Jose Rizal said, "ang mga pag-asa ng bayan." Right now, i feel for them.
Chino is right. It's not their fault to be sick.
---
Looking back at the the pictures, and the thoughts , and after i've reread what i have just written, now i realized why people call their kids ,their bundle of joy...
it's because they really are....
Bien, Jeanne, Kahlil, Paul, and Kyle made my day a lot of times. and someday when i have my own, I know that that child's gonna be one of the cutest babies this universe will ever see. ;) and I know that no matter how tired will I be from work, all my stress will be gone with just the thought of them.
I don't have Pedia this sem, hopefully that subject wont diss me. Maybe that subject's not bad at all,,, As long as i know, my knowledge can one day make a little kid smile and say thank you to me. As long as i can fix a little boy's tummyache and let him play again the day after. Maybe Pedia is not bad after all. Just maybe. We'll see.
We'll see.
---
*<edit, 10 mins after the blog>
Nah... SURGERY PA DIN! Wahahaha
I never liked kids. Lalo na yung mga uhugin at mga mukhang tiyanak. Lalo na yung mga maiitim at saksakan ng kulit. Lalo na yung mga pinipindot ang reset sa computer pag naglalaro ako. Lalo na yung mga all of the above. Oh my F Ghod.
But lately, i realized whenever i pass by the hospital wards that.
1) I'm giving kids a second look
2) and i smile at them
3) and sometimes i say 'hi' to them (strangers yung mga yun a)
4) and it draws a big smile on my face.
5) and i never do the things above when an extremely hot chick passes by. (ang weird nun pag ganun, mag h-hi ako bigla at magssmile kahit di ko kilala?)
but anyways, maybe it all started to change when these babies were born:
(L-R)
my inaanak, kyle misa. the youngest in our generation. bien and jeanne. the first 2 morana next-gens. kahlil jacob. the first grand grandson from the first grand daughter of my grandmother
and Paul. from Kuya Pao.
These kids... These kids with the cute little limbs, and sparkling little eyes of amazement whenever they look at a new toy, their inquisitive little hands, their exploring feet, their exponentially growing number of cells, their highly developing psyche, completing early stages of Freud, sucessfully passing Piaget's checklist -- yeah, the cuteness list goes on -- i can say that these kids are the reasons why i those kids are starting to have an impact on me.
Suddenly i find myself involuntarily contracting my zygomatics and spontaneously sparkling my own eyes trying to get the kid's attention. Even though most of the time, i'm freaking the kids out.
Chino Joven once told me he wanted Pedia as his spec. I asked him why, and his answer was so like a UST-Med-Entrance-Interview-Answer: "It's because those kids are too young to get sick. That they are so innocent to get sick. That it is not their fault to get sick." (o Chino, inenglish ko pa diba?)
That exact moment when he told me that, i thought of my dream Specialization, Surgery and said, "Oo nga no? Kasi ako, if ever man, yung mga ooperahan ko, ooperahan dahil lagi silang nagyoyosi kaya Lung Transplant, o umiinom kaya aayusin ang Liver, o kumakain ng madami kaya may Gastric Bypass at Lipo, o nagdrive ng lasing kaya naaksidente, o dahil tanga lang sila kaya nabalian ng buto. Minsan kukupalin ka pa nila at sisigawan...."
and i silently thought..."pero pag bata yun, umiiyak lang sila.... Oo, siguro minsan may tulo-uhog effect pa sila at magfflash yung mga bungi nilang mga ngipin, pero, oo nga, masyado pa silang bata para makaranas ng sakit diba? Theyre too cute to get sick. Theyre too innocent to ingest Enterobius on their mouths, they're too fragile to feel the pain of a Kidney stone (one of my nephews, who is only twelve already has one :c .) and worst, some are too young to be dead (One of my Nephew died because of Leukemia. And he's just around 2years old nun :c )
nakakatakot na baka di man lang nila maenjoy ang childhood, teenage years, sex, drugs, at rock and roll. Nah.
From that day on, those sickly kids in the streets for me don't look that tiyanak-ish anymore... Now i'm looking at them at a different spark, at a whole new different light. That they are, like what Jose Rizal said, "ang mga pag-asa ng bayan." Right now, i feel for them.
Chino is right. It's not their fault to be sick.
---
Looking back at the the pictures, and the thoughts , and after i've reread what i have just written, now i realized why people call their kids ,their bundle of joy...
it's because they really are....
Bien, Jeanne, Kahlil, Paul, and Kyle made my day a lot of times. and someday when i have my own, I know that that child's gonna be one of the cutest babies this universe will ever see. ;) and I know that no matter how tired will I be from work, all my stress will be gone with just the thought of them.
I don't have Pedia this sem, hopefully that subject wont diss me. Maybe that subject's not bad at all,,, As long as i know, my knowledge can one day make a little kid smile and say thank you to me. As long as i can fix a little boy's tummyache and let him play again the day after. Maybe Pedia is not bad after all. Just maybe. We'll see.
We'll see.
---
*<edit, 10 mins after the blog>
Nah... SURGERY PA DIN! Wahahaha
Friday, 8 August 2008
i can't study
wala namang distraction. wala namang pressure. wala namang bagyo. wala namang kulang. wala namang puyat. wala naman hinahabol. wala namang hadlang. kumpleto ako ng handouts. kumpleto ng highlighters. kumpleto sa pagkain. kumpleto sa study materials. kumpleto sa lahat. kumpleto sa tulog. kumpleto sa resources.
e tangina bat di ako makaaral?
hindi naman ako tinatamad ah?
e tangina bat di ako makaaral?
hindi naman ako tinatamad ah?
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
so nice
this one is from my friend, Aryan, from my previous blogsite, tabulas. In our emo days, we were singing our songs together, she even published a book with my as one of the acknowledgements, and now, i'm happy that she's happy with her life. :)
i recently commented on her cheezy blogs, and her reply simply put a nice warm smile on my face:
"sana mkatagpo ka na rin ng mekanikong aayos sa puso mo. four years na tayong nagdadamayan. thanks for always being around karl. dr karl na pala ngayon :)"
umaayos na ang mga buhay nila. yehey, ako na next. :)
i recently commented on her cheezy blogs, and her reply simply put a nice warm smile on my face:
"sana mkatagpo ka na rin ng mekanikong aayos sa puso mo. four years na tayong nagdadamayan. thanks for always being around karl. dr karl na pala ngayon :)"
umaayos na ang mga buhay nila. yehey, ako na next. :)
Monday, 4 August 2008
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