Maybe

Maybe because I didn't forward the chain emails that said I must forward them or else I will have bad luck for years, and amazingly all those bloody bad luck concentrated in one section: the heart. Maybe I have karmic debt. Probably in the past life I've adulterized a whole town and this is the Universe's way of coming back at me. Maybe, someone in my bloodline had done screaming infidelities and I was the one who was selected by karma to pay for it. To balance up the scales of to-harm VS to-get-hurt. As much I want to suck it all up, it all regurgitates back and leave a sour taste, a foul mouth and a throbbing chest.

Maybe cupid had been drunk all these years. He sends the dumbest arrows, put fire on its head, unfortunately setting more than just sparks that it intended, and ends up burning the whole place down. Drunk arrows that wiggled and wobbled to random women but did not hit them where it needed to be. Instead it hit just their arms, her feet, her mouth, her freedom, her reason, her past - and mash it with my head, my eyes, my misinterpreted tone of voice, my jealousy, my unstable circadian rhythm, my distorted logic, and my enstrangling future - these will definitley set fire.  No, cupid, I won't accept your apology. You better sober up, sharpen your arrows, master your aim, and make up for all the mistakes you did to me.

Maybe God has a plan, a decking system on who will be next and it just so happened the ones who were decked to me left more blood than bandages. Maybe God is weaving a twist that will probably explain everything and make sense to all these. Maybe he did this intentionally. Or maybe neglected this aspect when he was planning me.

Maybe that's why there's a word called 'maybe.' A word made to always keep you wondering, will always keep you asking, will always keep you thirsty. And in finding those answers, you get to find meaning, you find ones purpose, and find a new set of maybes that come along with it. 

Maybe, just maybe.