tagged by Burke: 14 Things

The rules are easy, just post 10 things that recently made you happy! (but i made it 14) Then tag 10 people (and i made it 14 too) and force them to post this on their blogs.

1.  Days with the Lord weekend

2.  B2 Incredibles

3.  Ayus na yung tethered tooth ko. haha.

4.  "Cremaster kick", "Reactive Oxygen Species"

5. A full 5-hour sleep

6.  NeuroAnatomy Remedials. more ways to pull grades!

7.  my Recently Downloaded Survivor, Lost, and One Tree Hill Episodes

8. Bonding with Dwtl Peeps. God i missed them. Felt old, though. haha. Before we were scared of mingling with the elders who visits Days, now, we're one of the Elders. whoa.

9.  Coffee

10.  Congrats Greeting from B1,B4, B5 and B6 peeps esp from B3 Geniculates

11.  Pablo Neruda

12. Biochem Nutrition Festival

13. A pretty Good NeuroAna Prax

14. Her offline messages.


I tag the following people:
(tinag na ni Burke yung iba eh)
1.  Mitch Santillan
2.  Corie Iniego
3.  Ate Chel Capricho
4.  Jestha De Vera
5.  JC Alberto
6.  Kristine
7.  Eunicia
8.  Ikay Rodas
9.  Ipe Cervantes
10.  Julie Jane Dy
11. Camille Tolentino
12. Glenah Delvo
13. Carmela Angeline Calupitan
14. Avelyn Lim

25 Years

Feb 26
25 Years na mula nang sinagot ni Mommy si Daddy.

3 years nanligaw si Daddy. well, kinda 3 years. kasi binasted muna siya kasi daw ang yabang yabang daw ni daddy (san nagmana si karl?).

pero now, look at them.
25 years na sila.
21 years old na ako at
16 years old na ang bunsong si Pae.

napatapos na nila ako ng kolehiyo pero feel na feel ko pa rin mag-aral forever.

naki-trip naman tong mga kapatid ko. lahat sila med related ang courses.

sa april, lahat na kami, college at post grad na.

ngayon, mas malalaki na kami sa kanila. hehe

made me wonder, what would i be in 25 years? and who will i be with?

owel. no time to entertain those thoughts. haha. happy anniv nlang kila daddy bear and mommy bear. :)

under the stars

it was raining.
but he still went out,
and up,
just to stare at the stars.
another calm, clear night.

and wondered,
and hoped that they are looking on one single star
and he thought,
"of all the stars in the universe,
what are the odds that we are both looking at the same twinkling light?"

they may be under one big sky.
and under the glow of one great moon.
but if he and she are looking at two totally different stars...
then their eyes are set on stars that are light years away.

...or, right now, is she even looking at the stars?

------
"and i kept myself a secret lover.
and i kissed you silently with all the strength of my heart
and the universe blushed, as it lay itself upon us."
------

there is a plan behind

we may not know why,
or how our stories are written.
but someday we will understand.
we only have to trust Him.

there is a plan.
a story.
a plot.
We wrote it. We and Him.

it will all be clear.
it's all just a matter or time.

friday morning coffee

morning's cold
and my phone is slowly dying
and felt the coldness slither deep inside my sleep deprived rhythm
i got a cup of coffee,
and tried to kill the coldness.
but no matter how warm the coffee is
and how much caffeine it has
it kicks back a certain feeling
even i cant understand

my own experience of a coffee rush...
jittering, kicking, and tachycardiac
maybe it's the scent
or the placebo it brings..

but no matter how hot the coffee was,
coldness wraps around after
the coffee's warm,
the caffeine's kicking,
the sugar's active,
but nothing can beat that single taste
that i taste in every coffee...

it's bitter.
and that can't beat the cold.

----
this is a two-fold entry. one for the sake of wriitng. emo writing, that is.

and one is to pay tribute to the Mice (Mus musculus) who were sacrificed especially the ones who died on our Caffeine experiment.

the thing with dissection videos

i "accidentaly" slept in front of the PC 30 minutes ago and left the anatomy Videos playing.

It was Angelo, and Paula who were prosecting in the video and the weird thing is napanaginipan ko na sila. haha. of course, natutulog ka tapos may konting input from your vestibulo-cochlear nerve ng mga boses nila na papasok sa utak mo at the next thing i know nananaginip nakong may hawak akong giant Saggital Section ng female at naririnig ang boses ni Angelo Ong na parang Diyos ng Female Reproductive System.

"Prostate Gland, Seminal Vescile" ...blablabla...

"This is YOUR labia majora" - sabay react nung nagvivideo, "that's not mine"

(imbento ko lang yung last part.)

haay. Med. it gets better every single day.     

Bad News Baby

from Josiah Leming (beep beep Ampi! yung favorite mo)

he's a dude from Idol that got Eliminated, and saw his other works on YouTube, and read on his cool lyrics. astig mehn.

Bad News Baby

My lady, she's nothing more than a melody
Whistlin underneath my skin
And pourin through my blood veins
Absorbing all the brain waves
Overtaking all my dreams.

And i could never be unfaithful
My everything is far too much to risk
And girl you're so extraordinary
But she's the only reason i exist

I'm bad news baby, i'm gonna break your heart
I burn my bridges daily before any others cross
I'm bad news baby, i'm not the man you want
The only girl i'll ever love is trapped inside a song

They tell me i'm nothing more than a tragedy
I'm headed for a breakdown
But they don't know my lady
They can't see how much she loves me
She'll never let me hit the ground

And i could never be unfaithful
My everything is far too much to risk
And girl you're so extraordinary
But she's the only reason i exist

I'm bad news baby, i'm gonna break your heart
I burn my bridges daily before any others cross
I'm bad news baby, i'm not the man you want
The only girl i'll ever love is trapped inside a song
A song

It's a song s-s-song, s-song, s-song
A song is all i have it's all i own
Oh, i'd sell my soul
I'd sell my soul for a song
Just a song

I'm bad news baby, i'm gonna break your heart
I burn my bridges daily before any others cross
I'm bad news baby, i'm not the man you want
The only girl i'll ever love is trapped inside a song

push

"stop pushing, you're hopeless"

"i don't care. i want to. i need to."

"then let me help you, just wait for me"

"no dude, i'll do this on my own"

"but you'll get hurt. or eventually die"

"die? imma be back to life afterwards anyway"

"but dude? is it worth it? you died a lot of times"

"fuck death pare. better that than live without trying"

"here we go again. dude, believe me, it's a long shot."

he stopped for a while, and he smiled, "we'll never find out if we don't try"

...

they were playing DoTA

Hippocratic Oath

it was Love at first sight.

They showed the Hippocratic Oath on one of our First Days in Med.

I stared stunned at that powerpoint slide and the Ancient Words written on it. All doctors - every single one of them have recited this sacred oath created by the Father of Medicine.

and I fell in Love with every single word. and longed for the day i'd get to recite it. and feel every letter and word and every line...

My Dad has a picture while he was reciting it on his oath taking... tangina. pag ako yan, maiiyak talaga ako sa PICC habang nirerecite ko yan.


"I will keep them from harm and injustice."
"In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art."
"To keep the good of the patient as the highest priority."

So, well, we're here for that goal. We are here memorizing the Metabolism of Everything Organic, Dissecting a Penis, Palpating Fake Breasts, Visiting Health Centers, Understanding the Human Psyche, and the Neuroanatomical Processes Behind it, the Menstrual cycle, and the Anatomical, Histological, Physiological, Endocrinal, and soon, the Pathological, and Gynecological process behind it... All for us to become worthy of raising our right hand and recite the Oath ourselves.

let me say that again... To become worthy of raising our right hand recite the Oath ourselves.

which made me ask.. Am I still worthy?

Hmm. Emotionally yes. Physically yes. Spiritually yes. but with my Grades. oh Shit. Let's not talk about it.

A year ago, i was dying to be in UST Med. Now, I'm simply dying in UST Med.

Man does not live on bread alone, so they say, but for me, im saying "Man does not live on willpower and inspiration alone." Funny how i say to myself before studying, "I can do this. I can do this. 2011, I can do this" and end up still saying, "I can do this. I can do this" - in my dreams. and the next thing I realize, it's 5.30AM. and i left my highlighters dry. and my sleepy head fell on the vestibule of Netter's Illustration of the Labia Minor for 5 full hours.

That's the problem. I keep on talking (and blogging) about it but i couldnt seem to move past the "i can do it" speech, and actually "do it". When i get my momentum, something, somewhere screws up. whether it is my mum talking to me about something i dont wanna talk about. or me getting hospitalized. So when is it gonna take off for me?

Sometimes I wish I have the brain of MJ Barcelona, or Melvin's, or Keith's, or Mayos', or Raquel's, or Francis' or Prima's. You know, they can sleep early, and then Ace the tests tomorrow. While us mortals burn the midnight oil and get a score barely reaching par. But I know I have my own unique Brain, and of course i cannot change it. duh. Wala pa ngang heart transplant sa Pinas, Brain pa kaya? And as if namang papayag sila. Haha.

Somewhere, something inside my unmapped neocortex and cortex there's a hidden stash of extra memory space, complete with an easy retrieval system, and extra triggering hormones for my wakefulness and concentration. Along the way, i know i'll find it and i know im gonna find more than that..
I know im gonna find what im looking for.
Ask God about anything, and long before you even asked it, he already has the answer. And I know, I'm gonna see this freakin purpose. God made it such a mystery for me. That's what makes it great. if i knew the secrets all along, the thrill would all be gone. but if i'd learn it myself, then this life will never run out of secrets and surprises.
So I know, someday, and soon (hopefully next week, haha) my brain will become stable enough to absorb all the information the Medical Field will feed me.

i know in the near future, i'll get to be on that stage and recite my Oath. and im sure the person beside me will not ask, "Pare anong grade mo sa Anatomy dati?", "Remedials ka lang ba ng Biochem?", "ilan ang napatay mong pasyente?", subukan lang niyang tanungin yun at isasampal ko sa mukha niya ang kamay na ipapang-oath ko. haha. and malakas ang kutob kong maiiyak ako sa araw na yun.

because i know how much i fought for it.
 
it was love at first sight when i first saw that oath.

and im going to fight for that love. for it's a love worth fighting for.

something you don't get to do / or to be every week (updated)

1. Palapate a cyst Infested Breast - nah, it't just a plastic model. And there are pigments on both sides of the breast. Hard tumors, non-malignant tumors.

2. Be the first volunteer to perform a Public Vaginal Examination - with the Whole class watching, with cameras, with me getting sweaty. and nervous. freaky.

3. Gather all your Piss in 24 hours and put it in a bottle of C2 then transfer it to a bottle of Coke only to realize you shouldve just put it on the bottle of C2. God.

4. No Exam on Wednesday. They may be a labcon exam today. but. heck. haha. But actually NO Biochem or Peesho Topic Exam?! Nakakaparanoid naman

5. I slept at around 10 or 11. which is soo early. Usually we don't get to sleep at all.

6. Watch a Pixar movie for Academic's Sake

7. And be assigned as a Villain. An English speaking Villain. hwahahaha *evil eeevil laugh* (Why am I always the Subject for Experiments, and anything shameful?)

8. Being FORCED (oh yes, Forced) to ask a Question in the Labcon later. Moogie is the Lead Discussant. She Doesn't want Dr Navarro to Devour her so she said I should ask questions, and ask some more until time runs out. (Now you know how Labcon feels, moogie?)

9. Be the Highest in my Subsec in a Neuro Ana short quiz (Magic kasi yung Quiz ko nun. Inspired kuno. haha) O Subsec! ngayon lang ako magyayabang sa Grades ah? Pagbigyan! haha!

10. Eat with Boom, Ris and Gayle on a Cool Carinderia (May be a small thing for other people but ever since Med we never got to each with each other on a school break even though we dwell on the same building)

11. Watch 2 Movies on a Tuesday Night (since wala ngang Exams. Yeey.)

12. And Read in advance for something. (uhuh)

13. Be not worried or bothered about the Valentine's Day / Week since there are a lot more Exams Galore to be freakin worried about. Oh God.

14. and wake up at 6.30 on a Wednesday. Write A Blog before bathing, eating, coffeeing, or dressing up. And not panicking for my class at 7. Even though im 30-45 minutes away from school.

 15. <edit> be Recruited by B5 to be a Pseudo Villain. hehe. Go B5! haha! :) Thanks! It's gonna be Fun!  </edit>

ohyeah. :)

you

*bahala na*
he was drunk

his hormones throwing up everywhere and everything seemed so invoulntary.
his head was so afloat and all the action potentials of his muscles seemed higher. less negative, that is.
his heart was beating fast. a few beats more, he'll be crossing the boundary to tachycardia. and hypertension. and if the pericardium sets loose, hypertopy of the heart.

he thought he was numb.
until her.

after drinking alcohol he thought he will be numb.
it just made it worse.

and out of his dim-lit phone, he opened her messages again.

cold.

funny how he easily forget the blood supply of the kidney, the structure of the steroids, the RAAS cycle, while the ones he wants to forget couldnt be forgotten. maybe because the Limbic System was involved. The Center of Emotion was triggered.

"so that was it, i guess."

and he was driving home. there were no stars. no moon. no dark clouds. just the dimly lit 11PM lights. and the empty road of balete drive.

and he decided to call her. dialled her number that took him quite a while to memorize. and there was a ring. two rings. three rings. fifteen rings. and nothing. no answer.

he was thinking again and asking again what have he done wrong. where. and when. and why. oh god, why. what happened that made her act that way? she said nothing. she said she's just tired. and she said it's really not her habit. old habits that came back overnight. there is something. there has to be something. there must be a reason why it instantly died.

and he called again. wrapped in coldness of the aircon, amplified by the alcohol. rehearsed the lines he was just about to say. "home na po? di pa? sige ingat ka pauwi. pauwi nako. ang saya." one ring. two. fifteen. and she answered the phone and said hello.

it's weird how one hello could change the entire course of your emotions. how her cute little voice lifts your spirit exponentially. and you suddenly forget the pain. and her warm voice just melted all her coldness away.

"hi" he said. and he forgot the next line.

"hi." she replied. as if nothing's wrong

he froze. he imagined he was just there. beside her. whispering directly on her ears. he felt her long silky hair. and her fine little dimples peeking beside her lips. her eyes twinkling, lit by the rear lights. and her vanilla scent lingering all over.

and then, it kicked in. he closed his eyes. and spoke.

"i just wanna tell you
that you're my first thought every morning.
and the last person i think of at night.
that you're the person that given me a glow i've never had before.
sometimes i couldnt help but just stare at you
and get high with the thoughts of you
and stop time in the short sweet moments i'm with you.
this may not be a big deal for you, but i just want to let this out.
it's you. in a lot of things i do, you were in them.


and i know you're not ready for this.
don't worry. i dont expect anything back.
all i need is to unload this piece"

and he hung up the phone. the scene disappeared. she and i. my mouth whispering on her ears, the feel, the sight, the scent. it was gone.
he can't do anything. time can only tell.


(the events here are fictional.
yet it doesnt mean they're not real)

Dumbest Quiz show answers:

got this one from Y! News

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22,1963?

Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then

Presenter: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant: Forrest Gump

Presenter: In which country is Mount Everest?

Contestant: Er, it's not in Scotland is it?

Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the

name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci

Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Presenter: In which European city was the first opera house

opened in 1637?

Contestant: Sydney

Presenter: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and

Israel last?

Contestant: (after long pause) Fourteen days

Presenter: Where did the D-Day landings take place?

Contestant: (after pause) Pearl Harbor?

Presenter: What is the currency in India

Contestant: Ramadan

Presenter: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which

jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he

play?

Contestant: Jesus