Geek Blog

Maybe Rolando and Sylvius are lovers, anak nila si Wernicke and Brocka. kamag-anak nila si Kluver at Bucy na nakatira sa hippocampus, paiba iba nga lang sila ng adress, minsan nasa 39, minsan nasa 22., at long distance friend nila nila sila Rexed Lamina. 12 ata silang magkakapatid. pero, yung 6 lang ang close. si 7 daw masyadong bwakaw., sa dulo ng street, andun si Cauda Equina.

Maraming alyas si Hippocampus. Ang paborito niya ay "ammon's horn." Madami siyang kakampi. Powerful siya. siya lang ang may kapabilidad na makapagregenerate ng neurons. Hindi nila sinama sa Limbic Circle of Friends si Amygdala. Siguro masyado siyang epal.

Kakaiba ang numbers ng mga bahay sa utak. pag papasok ka sa subdivision nila, una mong makikita ang Thalamus bilang gate. Una mong makikita kung sensory ka, yung adress na 312. weird nga kasi ang mga bagay ay nagsisimula sa 1,2,3, pero dito, 3,1,2. simula pa lang yan. magsskip bigla ng mga numbers, yung 8 nasa harap, tapos yung 17 at 18 nasa likod, malapit sa 39. Bumaba ka ng konti, nasa 44,45 ka na. pero kung gusto mong dumaan sa 22, along the way ka na.

Kung pupunta ka at mangangapitbahay lang, pwede kang dumaan sa CUA Highway. (Cingulum-Uncinate-Arcuate Fasciculus.) Kung gusto mong mandamay ng kabilang hemisphere, kailangan mong kontakin si pareng Corpus. Pag ayaw niya, pwede mo namang kalabitin sila Fornix and Habenulla. PAg gusto mo namang magpakababa ng lebel, dun ka nalang sa Internal Capsule at sa Anterior at Posterior limb.

Pag naligaw ka, dumaan ka na lang sa rotonda ng Circle of Willis. traffic dun madalas. at kakaiba ang daan iyon. pag dumaan ka sa Gitna, ang Middle Cerebral Artery, mapupunta ka sa Gilid. Pag sa Anterior Cerebral Artery naman, mapupunta ka sa gitna. Kalabo diba?

bakit kaya masyadong mapanghusga si 9,10, at 11? Bakit masyadong ma-boka si Brocka 44,45? bakit palasulat si Wenicke? Bakit masyadong rasyonal at Taga kaliwang utak? bakit masyadong emosyonal naman ang mga taga kanan?

merong 4 na kilabot sa lugar na iyon. ang apat na A. si Alex, si Apha, si Agno, at si Atax. Mga kupal sila. Isang atake lang nila sa iyo, maaari mo nang malimutan ang kanan at kaliwa. ang tama at mali. maaaring di ka na makapagsalita. maaaring olats ka na ring magisip. pero sa kasamaang palad, hindi lang sila ang masasamang Gang sa mundo ng Utak. Madami pang iba. Trauma ang apelyido nila. Lesion and Middle name.

shemay. dumudugo na ang Little's area ko. at masakit na ang Frontal Lobe ko. at ang dami kong Adipose tissues.(koneksyon?) Gusto ko nang magsleep. Sa sleep state, magiging inactive ang Glycolysis ko at babalik sa Gluconeogenesis. Pero nasa fed state pa ako, maghihintay muna ako ng mga 30 minutes para di masyadong mag-imbak ng triglycerides and katawan ko.

gusto kong mag move on. kung pwede ko lang i-sublimate ang lahat ng ito. pero hanggang ngayon nasa immature defense mechanism pa rin ako. kung pwede ko lang kalimutan ang lahat, pero sabi ng punyeta kong Limbic system, kailangan ko daw harapin to. Andaming defense mechanism na pwede kong piliin. ngunit sa kasamaan palad, napipili ko pa rin lagi ang Immature Defenses. Kung pwede lang ako humiga sa table ni Freud at magsalita lang nang magsalita, pero yun nga lang, baka puro kabastusan ang i-analyze sakin ni Freud.

matulog na nga. haha.

song playlist.. and random thoughts, and random flashbacks

if i am to delete all songs that depict love and bitterness on my mp3 playlist, i just realized that i'll just be deleting almost every song in the folder. might as well just press, "ctrl+a" and "del."

i mean, all that will just be left are the DWTL songs and Soulja Boy (na di ko naman maintindihan ang lyrics.)

--

what would happen if the world existed without rules in relationships? no cheaters. no liars. no obscenity. no courtship. seriously, if the world was built as anything-goes, screw-anyone, love-anyone, kiss-anyone,. would it be a better world? lesser heartaches i guess. better world? i dont know.

what would happen if the world existed without rules in relationships? i guess there would be no relationships at all.

--

if you ask any kid what they want to be when they grow up. and it will instantly come true tomorrow. there would be a surplus of doctors, lawyers, and basketball players.

but if you asked me during the third grade what i wanted to be? i wanted to be a farmer.
during the second grade, i wanted to be a carpenter.
4th grade, a computer engineer.

then, dad exposed me to the world of circumcision. operation tule. i was looking at bloody penises for days. and for free. and the patients get free antibiotics.

still, i wanted to be a computer engineer.

then great things started to happen. (maybe ill elaborate it on my next blogs). then i realized, damn it, this is what i want to to with my life. not just circumcize penises... i want to change lives.  in the best way i can.

grade 6. my dad asked me what i wanted to be. i said "doctor"
he asked why.
i said, a lot of people looked at him with such respect and love and coolness, and i realized, what if you're gone? who will be the next coolest guy in town? i wanted it to be me.

(it's not the exact transcript, of course, but you get the picture)

my dad always wanted to have a doctor na anak. my mum always wanted to have a flight attendant.

but mom, im not happy with serving coffee, tea, or water and crackers on a plane.
and dad, youre just so cool. so, cmon. to medschool.

--



before i graduated hs. our teacher, ms dael (now mrs grandea), had us write an essay about our future. i wrote the best damn essay i can write. the best way i can leave hs.

her reaction? "edejer, magaling ka pala magsulat." at feeling ko sa loob loob niya, ("akala ko gago ka lang")

but from then on, every time i visited LSQC, she always follows up on what ive written. together with everyone else actually.

--

moving on is hard.
especially if you're the only one moving on.
especially if you don't want to move on.
especially if you have no choice but to move on.

--

my sister just graduated hs. next year, all 4 of us are in college, and ako na supposed to be kumikita na sana ay nagpapakabihasa pa rin at nagpapatustos sa mundo ng medisina. ang bilis ng panahon. dati nene pa si pae. ngayun, awww. i love her.

--

this week and the next, i am going to ask the help of all the Gods, heavens, friends,  guardian angels, humans, animals, cadavers, jesus christ, frank netter, mama mary, angel michael, heath ledger, pope john paul, anna nicole smith, gregor mendell, barack obama "yes we can" (ay buhay pa pala siya) and of course, Mama Ying, and Uncle Lindo, and Lolo Centing, and Papa Ben, and Tatay Pitong and Stephen Go pa pala, to send me all the spirits and all the luck in the universe, and the world in between, for me to pass the Remedial exams.


funny how a 2-hour exam. or one mistake., in shading maybe. can mean one year of medical torture. but i believe i will pass them. just like lucas believes in the comet, just like the faith as big as the mustard seed. i will pass all of them. every single fucking one of them.

--

faith. it's the only one i hold to. held on to. and will be holding on.

like what mam joyce said, ill fight a good fight, finish the race. and keep the faith.

keep. the. faith.

+bstaikawlord

wicker park

"When you see someone from afar, you develop a fantasy.
And then when you see them up close, 9 times out of 10 you wish you hadn't."

sometimes you just wished you've never met or seen a certain person. sometimes you just wished you just looked at her from afar, wondering what her scent is, how deep does she think, how does she look at life and all that crap. sometime's you wish you'd just remain on that state. the longing state. the i-wish-i-get-to-know you state. because in that phase, you still have hope. you still have faith. and you still believe.

ang aga aga emo nanaman. ampotah.

Final Fantasy Tactics

if I could get married to this game, i'd do it in a heartbeat. haay. true love. and FF VII and VIII and IX would be my backup wives. hahaha.

and FF X and DMC 2 will be my Future wives.

A warrior takes sword in hand, clasping a gem to his heart...
Engraving vanishing memories into the sword,
He places finely honed skills into the stone.
Spoken from the sword, handed down from the stone,
Now the story can be told..


Don't blame us. Blame yourself or God.

Damn it, who the Hell am I? Who...

Animals have no God!!

I was always surrounded by the convent walls... and I have only seen the sky through them.

"God" is an image created out of man's insecurities.

the comet

The boy saw the Comet and
He felt as though his life had meaning.
And when it went away,
He waited his entire life for it to come back to him.
It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life. 
Direction, beauty, meaning. 
There were many who couldn’t understand. 
And sometimes he walked among them. 
But even in his darkest hours,
he knew in his heart some day it would return to him. 
And his world would be whole again. 
And his belief in God
and love
and art
would be reawakened in his heart.

- from One Tree Hill

Left Brain or Right?

This got me rolling! My God, my God! You can see both ways!


If you see this lady turning in clockwise you are using your right brain.  

If you see it the other way, you are using left brain.  

Some people do see both ways, but most people see it only one way.

See if you can make her go one way and then the other by shifting the brain's current.

BOTH DIRECTIONS CAN BE SEEN

Experimentation has shown that the two different sides, or hemispheres, of the brain are responsible for different manners of thinking.

The following table illustrates the differences between left-brain and right-brain thinking:

Left Brain                   Right Brain

Logical                         Random

Sequential                    Intuitive

Rational                        Holistic

Analytical                      Synthesizing

Objective                      Subjective

Looks at                        Looks at
parts                              wholes



Most individuals have a distinct preference for one of these styles of thinking. Some, however, are more whole-brained and equally adept at both modes.

In general, schools tend to favor left-brain modes of thinking, while downplaying the right-brain activities.

Left-brain scholastic subjects focus on logical thinking, analysis, and accuracy.

Right-brained subjects, on the other hand, focus on aesthetics, feeling, and creativity.


If you look away, she may switch from one direction to the other.


so, i'm not logical?! but i know i am. but maybe im more emotional.
and... tangina... nagiiba nga ng direction! try no guys... im sooo freaked out.

probability

what are the chances that she's online when i am?
or that she's at trinoma, walking home and bumping on me?
what are the chances of me driving around her school, and seeing her?
is there a slight chance that we'll be eating on the same place?

what are the chances that she won't notice me, so that she could run away?
the chances of me looking at her eyes, and she, looking at me?
what are the chances of she going to the same place, same concert, same party, same gig, same game, same mall, same province, same event as where i'll be going?

maybe the probability of me looking at stars, and she too, looking at one is bigger. perhaps it's the fact that we are under just one big sky. under one bright moon. under one a lot brighter sun.

but amidst all those randomness, and serendipitous probabilities,

there's always one constant probability, or let me say, one constant ground...
that we,
are stepping on
one
big
big
world.
one world where perhaps, we'll never, ever meet again.


i think it's a bigger chance of me dreaming of you.
that's why i always sleep.



...

bull.shit.

love can make you soo stupid. haha.

morning sickness?

i dont know how my mind blasts in the morning. especially when it starts with the ring of an alarm clock. it somehow puts a stressed mood on me. it reminds me of school. of pressure. of exams.

i have said sooo many times that im not a morning person. don't talk to me when i just woke up, baka masungitan ko lang kayo. or malabo lang marereply ko. or, i dunno. there's something in the morning sun maybe. i must feel the hope of the new day, or the promise of the new beginning, but no. if feel the dizziness of yesterday. the cloudiness of my hormones. i don't know why. i just get myself going when it's past 10 or when i had my coffee or when i take a bath.

waking up is the hardest everyday thing i have to do everyday. after that, then, i'm off to face the world. oh yeah. tsss.

i feel sleepy... again.

random, random, random crap

before school ended, i told myself imma write a lot about... well, a lot.

but now, i can't work out my words. hmm. even alcohol can't unlock it. hmmhmm.

it's my third day of being home alone in the house. and im getting used to the ghosts here. and god, meron pala talaga. specially sa sala. but heck. i don't care na din. b*tch ghost.

itong mga panahong to, masarap magdala ng friends at sa bahay. pero. nagsiuwian sila. yesterday, alex, burn, and el was here, but they left after they got drunk.. and they just texted... theyll be back later. for more. oh yeah.

hmmm. boredom.

they say boredom is a sign of the lack of wisdom. i dont where i heard that, but i think it's wrong. somehow, in between watching DVDs here, and TV, and our MTV, i feel there's a big Void inside of me. Right in the Middle Mediastinum, around the Pericardium. The Void of the Heart.

damn it. heart talks. i'll rather sleep again nalang. damn.

this is Worth Reading, i promise

nakakatuwang basahin. i wrote this one last year. :) basa, basa!

karl and karl

here we go again", he said. He just graduated, finished an entirely stressful Thesis experience, sitting at the Dean's Office at the Med Building. "Another 4 years",  he said to himself. He has no idea how more twisted this next stage will be... All he feels at the moment is just gratitude that he made it on that list. He was still overwhelmed, and shocked, and, savoring the moment.

then came another dude, pushing the glass door, wearing all white, with a stethoscope hanging on his neck, still wearing that smile, but now with more lines around the lips, and cheeks, and eyes, and you can really see that time really slashed a few more stress lines on him,  still wearing the same hairdo,  the Young One could easily recognize him...

It was Himself. Karl Erjon Edejer, Four Years later.

The Young Karl was waiting for the Dean to sign his papers so that he can pay his reservation fee. After everything he had been through, after praying and panicking to be on that list, God knows why he's there.

The Older Karl sat beside him, also waiting for some papers to be signed. After everthing he had been through, endless exam days, nights, midnights and dawn, God knows why he's there.

The two sat with each other. The Karl which is 20 years old, fresh from college of Science. and the Karl who will be 24 years old. The two finally meet. God must be smiling.

"So how are you?" said the old Karl

"Haha, I should be asking you that dude. You know how i feel today, you're Me.", the young man replied

"Hahaha, oo nga naman, I know how you feel right now."

"Onga. Syempre alam mo ngayon na masaya ako. How bout you?God, I have a lot to ask. Kamusta ka?"

"Ako? well... ayokong sabihin."

"Pucha baket?"

There was no reply. The Old Karl just smiled, and stared in the nothingness in front of him

"Kamusta? Nahirapan ba ako sa Med?"

"Oo naman. Walang medschool na madali pare."  oh shit so true (said first year karl. haha)

"Lahat naman sila yun ang sinasabi eh. Cmon, fill me in! Anong mangyayari?!"

"Well... well. hindi ko pwedeng sabihin sayo eh"

"Bakit? Bawal?"

"Hindi sa bawal. Ayoko lang"

"Nu ba yan. Magiging kupal pala ako sa future."

"Watch your words."

"Whew. Sori ha.", the young Karl immaturely laughed.

"Nah. Mababawasan din yang ganyan mo in the next years."

"Unless I Dont."

"Yeah, unless you don't... But is that really Who You Are? or would you choose to step up your words a little bit better?"

"May point ka, anu ba yan ang lalim mo na magsalita... haha. Ano na? Kamusta Med?"

"Ayoko talagang sabihin"

"bakit nga?"

"Remember nung may isang taong nagsqueal sayo ng mangyayari sa Episode 17 ng Grey's Anatomy, Season 3?"

"Ah, yun? Yung mamamatay si _____? Oo, badtrip nga nagsabi sakin nun e"

"Ganun lang ang mangyayari kung sasabihin ko sayo ang mga mangyayari sa mga susunod na taon. Mawawala ang suspense, mawawala ang thrill. Hindi sa selfish ako para ishare sayo ang mga mangyayari, pero it would be a lot better if you unfold the leaves of the book by yourself.

Oo, mahihirapan ka, maiisip mo na its going to be the hardest phase of your life, there will be times you'll even think it'll be the worst days of your life. But from those low points you'll discover Who You Really Are and what you are capable of.... that you are bigger that who you think you are, Karl. You're a big person, but your heart is bigger.

There will be moments, a lot of moments, when you will question why you've entered this profession, when you've thought of quitting, of giving up. But all you have to do is look around, Karl.

Look at your Dad, no one thought he's going to be a doctor before because of his habits before, but look at him now - a guiding hand behind you, and he's always gonna be there, Karl, always.
Look at your Mum, she may be pushing you to go to freakin Nursing right now, but she will be there beside you too; To make you cups of coffee before she sleep, to check on you if you've forgotten to eat, to go to Baclaran and offer a candle for you.
Look at your siblings, they look up to you. They'll offer their prayers for you, lend up their ears to listen to your rants, to hug you when you pass kick-ass subjects, and always wish you the best.
Look at your family, the Moranas, the Ongs, the Educalanes, the Misas, the Bagasinas, the Malays, the great people of candelaria that you have met and you are yet to meet
Your friends. your Lovers (oh, slash that one off), your enemies, your mentors, your future colleagues.

you have a more-than-enough support system to cushion you, so you should never feel alone. Never.

and finally, Look up, Look up to God,. He has a great plan for Us, Karl. A really really great one. I havent seen the entire picture yet, but i know its going to be one hell of a story.

Yes, Medschool is going to be Hard. Really Hard. Its going to shoot inside you, and in your body and in your soul. But You, You are going to Shoot back. you are going to fight, you are going to have the time of your life.

Andami ko nang nasabi."

After that, they were silent.

Ate Kristine of the Admissions Office just got the papers and called out a name, "Edejer"

the Young One stood up, and went to the table on the right side.

After which, another person called another name, "Edejer"

the Older one stood up, and went to the table on the left side.

the Older one, looked blank at the paper expressionless. The young one didnt know what the paper the Older one was holding. Does it bring Good news, or Bad News? Well, guess he has to wait to 4 years to find out what it is.

The younger one went to the glass door of the office and bid goodbye to his Older self, "Oi Karl, alis nako"

"Sige Karl, ingat."

"Waitlang, bakit nga ba hindi mo naisipang magpalit ng hairdo?"

"Ikaw, tanungin mo yan sa sarili mo."

"Nyek binabalik mo nanaman ang tanong eh"

"Hindi dude. actually, Ikaw lang talaga. Ikaw ang magdedecide kung ano ang nakasulat sa papel na hawak ko ngayon, kung ano ang buhok ko ngayon. Actually ikaw talaga ang magdedecide kung Ikaw pa ba ang nandito sa office the to after 4 years. It's your choice. Like what you said to yourself 4 years ago, well which is 8 years na pala sakin, it will take a damn lot to get you from there, a fresh premed graduate to here. What and who am i right now is who will you choose to be today, and in the coming days."

"Yeah, its my choices."

Overwhelmed, and struck, young Karl reached out his hand to his older Self and they shook hands. They both have hard grips, a good eye contact, the same smile, and the same ooze of confidence,. After all, they're the same person.

They both came out of the office. the Young one wne to Main Building and Paid his Reservation Fee and the older one looked at his Younger Self while he's walking away. He wished him Good Luck, he prayed for Him, and he smiled...

because his Journey had just begun.

Reminiscing 4bio1

a lot of people's been posting their grad and baca pics. i saw pics of my friends (most from dwtl) graduating, and i can't help myself but reminisce our time.



haay. can't believe it's been a year. not a full academic year actually, hindi pa naman kasi tapos tlga ang first year med. and god knows what i've been through and will be goin through.

last year, i told boom during baccalaureate mass, "pare, in 4 years, tayo na yang mga Medical Clerks jan"... When they called out "Medicine and Surgery", nagtalunan ang mga med students, nagwawala, at napakasaya nilang lahat. Kinilabutan kami. sobra. sa hirap ba naman ng pinagdaanan nila, pag ako nga yun, maiiyak pa tlga ako.

(my candle, and the clerks in front of me)

day by day, step by step, we get nearer to our graduation. haha. people reading this may be laughing cause i look too far. we haven't even tasted pharmacology yet, and pathology, we haven't experienced 100 hours shifts yet. heck i have to pass my own set of remedial exams. but each day in med, each step in med, the little successes and failures, and triumphs of passing, and enjoying the company of your subsec, each page we photocopy, and memorize, and forget, and memorize again... every single one of them, make us closer and closer to our freakin dream. to the two most important letters in the alphabet attached to our names: MD. God i just love writing it:

Karl Erjon M. Edejer, MD

thoracocardiovascular surgeon
or
orthopaedic surgeon

or
spinal surgeon
or simply,
a doctor who changed people's lives.

(oh my god, oooh my god, just had an orgasm, kidding. haha)


so that's it. reminiscing is over.  like the old song goes, "what has life to offer me when i grow old?" im getting old, i know. at this stage, i should be earning my own money. and pinapang-inom namin galing pa rin sa bulsa ng mga parents namin. shees. but... we chose to be in school forever. we chose to dedicate our lives, especially "prime of our lives" to science, to medicine, to people, to curing diseases, to the freakin humankind. instead of me hooking up with a hot chic at a hot bar somewhere using my hot car, and my hot moves (ayun. haha), and waking up at someone else's room, i chose the harder way, i chose not to sleep at night, staying at wendy's with a friend reading samplexes the whole night. instead of watching a movie, finishing Scrubs 1-5, One Tree Hill, and the rest, I watched Dra Lumitao dissect the brain, over, and over, and over again, until every word she says sink into my dreams. instead of sleeping with someone, i'm not sleeping at all. instead of going places, visiting different countries, "soul searching", and all that spiritual fantasies i'd like to embark, i chose finding myself and my soul into diseases, chemical equations, and in the faces of sick people.

so what has life to offer me? offer us? i don't know. god is a power tripper. but here's what i know. he has a plan. i mean, he better have one or else. we're not burning ourselves alive for nothing, right? he has a plan. for you, for me. we may not always understand why these are happening. someday i'll get to understand why she doesnt wanna work it out. i'll get to understand why am i facing all these crap... someday i'll understand why this, or that, or those. sometimes, i get confused, sometimes, i get tired.

but then, all i have to do is go back to last year's version of me.

Holding a candle of hope,
watching the nice fireworks,
singing the UST Hymn,
under the light of the Main Building.

We were full of hopes. Me, Jhun, Moogie, Geli, Boom, Dhanna, Austin, Camel, Jas, Victor, Chester, Corie, Greg, Kristine, Ricky, Ampi, Nica, Ron, Paula, Rej, Mags, Nikki, Ris, Gayle, Abi, Ayra, Sasa, Kris, Mare, Pare, Ciara, and Jane. (hope i didnt forget someone. haha)

We have a saying in bio before: Onwards 2007. Onwards 2011.

the first half of the statement was done last year. the next one is in the making.
Onwards 2011.

(didn't get a decent pic for the whole class. haha. i was just so busy roaming around takin pics with my other college friends. haha)

wwhy do you think there's hope?
why do you think there's such a saying
that there is light at the end of the tunnel?
it is for the simple fact. that there is.

little wonders

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don't mind
if it's me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it's the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away somehow
but i cannot forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain

time machine

if there is one fictional event life that movies can do to my life, i'd wish it's the magic of travelling through time. most people, especially med students would press the fast forward button. but me, i'd press the rewind...

i am just so full of regrets right now. mistakes. irreversible mistakes that got me into trouble, heartaches, and (a lot) of screwed up numbers. if there is a save point in life, where you can just press Reset and be back to a safe point, i want to be back there.

back to where life was fucking simple.

back to point when i still believe.

Can I Keep Selling Sex For Money, Officer?

a cooler way to memorize the Kreb's cycle

Can - citrate
I - isocitrate
Keep - alpha KetoGultarate
Selling  - Succinyl CoA
Sex - Succinate
For - Fumarate
Money, - Malate
Officer? - Oxaloacetate

can you guess the other famous mnemonics?

Some Say Mind Matters But My Brother Says Big Boobs Make More

Oh Oh Oh To Touch And Feel A Girl's Vagina, Ahh Heaven!

Keep Privates Clean Of Forget Good Sex

Some Couples Try Positons That They Can't Handle


Mnemonics + Sex = FUN  0_o

(ang manyak naman ng dating ko)
(sabog na utak ko from tooooo much Biochem)

i'm ok...

he was blindfolded..
clasped both hands
and walked,
and was pushed.

he got different blows.
hits here and there.
stabs of inhumane torture
he was pulled.
and dragged.
and drenched.

he lost everything.

he got nothing.

and it's not over yet.
his life bitched some more.
and more.
and a lot more.

but he stood.
and fought.

because he had no choice but to fight.
and accept.
that
that
is
how
it's
supposed
to
be.

but before he went on
he clasped his hands.
and sat down.
and cried for just a while.
and opened his heart.
poured it like it's never been poured before.
and he held a cross.
lit a glass candle.
and felt the fume of the fresh midnight air.
and shouted.
and shouted like he had never shouted before.

he felt better.
a lot better.
he remained blindfolded.
but went back
with a guiding hand with him to lead the way.

after everything...

this.
shall.
pass.

he said a little prayer.
and went on with his healing.
and continued fighting.
and said, "i'm ok"

+bil

Mikey Silverman

Sino ba si Silverman? Paano ba maging subscriber kay Silverman? Parang andami niyang Fans sa Med. at ang weird pa dun ay karamihan sa mga taong di niya kaklase ay di kilala kung sino siya. Pero alam nila ang logo niya, at pati ang bagong logo niya mula nang Neuro Practical Exams.

Haha. Sobrang sikat ng Silverman notes. May colored version, Black and White at Photocopy Version. Nahahati sa Dalawa yung Photocopy Version. isang Powder copy at isang Liquid copy. At syempre, meron din soft copy.

Balita ko maganda daw GF niya eh. cool. Natawa nalang ako nung Nutrition Fest dahil si Silverman si Lastikman, at Fil-Am pala siya, ampotah, tawa ako ng tawa dahil nilagay niya sa braso niya ang script niya. hahaha. Aliw.

Ang galing din niyang mag summarize ng mga handouts. Akalain mo, yung 60+ pages ng Anatomy namin, yakang yaka niyang ibuod sa 15 Pages lang, at may drawing pa. at minsan may Mnemonic pa. At may koneksyon ba siya sa langit? bakit ung Histo Long Exams lumalabas ang mga sinusulat niya, lalo na nung first shifting, word per word.

Nagpiprint ako ng Silverman notes ngayon. Kung pagsasama-samahin lahat ng nakuha kong notes sa kanya... matatalo nito ang Handouts ko sa Epid. Kasi niwawala ko ang mga hanouts sa Epid. Pero ang Silverman notes, kulang nalang isama ko sa pagpapabookbind.

At akala ko Joke time yung Surname niya.  Or baka it's just his way of being cool. Pero shet. Yun pala talaga yung Surname niya. Parang Silver Surver na Superman combined. So cool. Soo Cool.

If ever mabasa man ni Silverman to, alam kong di niya naiintindihan ang mga sinasabi ko. pero dude, kung alam mo lang kung ilang Med Students ang natulungan mo... Kung magbabayad kami ng Piso sa bawat page na nakuha namin na gawa mo, malamang may pang tuition ka na Next Sem. Pero di pa kasama ang Libro nun. :P Kung papipilahin mo lahat ng Estudyanteng ginamit ang handouts mo, maiikot nila ang buong First Floor ng Med na parang Registration or Enrollment. Ibig sabihin ganun kadami ang Crammers sa Medicine. waha.

Sana next year marami ka pang magawang Reviewer. Sana next year andito pa ako. Sana Next year meron ka na rin Dissection Video, Surgery Video, Pedia Video, Pharmacology Mnemonics. Wow. sobrang cool talaga.

Andaming taong hindi nakapagpasalamat sa iyo. Hayaan mong ako na ang magpasalamat para sa aming lahat. In behalf of all the Crammers of UST Medicine and Surgery, and The Xerox Ladies na Pinapayaman natin lalo na pag Shiftings, Salamat Silverman. hahaha. :)

if you want to be a subscriber of Silverman, text SILVERMAN<Space>ON and Send to 2366.

if you just want anatomy, or neuroana, text SILVERMAN<space>ON<space>ANATOMY send to 2366.

comments? corrections? violent rections kay Silverman? Nah. :P (ayan Top Edited na) hehe

flat line

no p waves. or t waves. or qrs waves.

a line flat out after tachycardia, and hypertopy, and hyperrtension. the heart just gave up.

just a plain dull sound of buzz from the screen. that old familiar tone we hear in movies, and in TV... the tone you don't want to hear near you. cause it might me yours.

no heartbeat. no depolarization of nodes. no pumps. zero mean arterial pressure.

the flat line. that green horizontal line of the electrocardiograph.

consolation

if there is any possible consolation
in the tragedy of losing someone
we love very much,
and we wanted all our life,
it the necessary hope
that perhaps
it
was
for
the
best.

for the best.

for that whatever best may be.