just like my days

ten batches.
6 sponsorings.
1 staffing.
9/10 batches attended. 
8 givings.
10+ people recruited
4 senas attended
2/3 of the people i met in college came from these "kulto" kuno


all because of One Weekend I took 10 batches ago.
because of one shout, one commitment
one call from above.

my Days with The Lord

the life-changing weekend.

god. its been ten batches. wow. ten batches. that time i didnt know who kris rea is. or mami olive, or emai, or chris ramirez, or enrico, or penn or chudz, or carlo. and it was a long long ride.

a lot has happened. everything changed. from a guy whose problem was just his lovelife to someone who has a larger-than-life dream with matters more complicated than just relationships and a student's life being governed by an unending quest for numbers just to pass.

life has been a lot complicated. before i just know that the large intestine has a duodenum, jejenun and an ileum. now, there are  parts of the duodenum pala, and not to mention its detailed structure that varies every layer for every part. my prayers before were just, 'sana hindi umulan' or 'sana madagdagan na allowance ko'.. now its like "god, let me pass psych". "give me a sign"."how am i supposed to gather this sum of money?"

life has been a lot complicated. but then, i had been a lot simpler. it became easier to make me smile. before it would take a big fat ass joke to make me laugh. but now, even a baby saying "gagu" este "mama" will sometimes make my day. before i was wishing for a kick-ass beautiful girlfriend. i had it before. but i never was contented. but now, even though i dont have a girlfriend, anjan naman si Lord... yuck ang baduy. pero, in a way, totoo naman. ever since days i talk to him always. and he talks back in different ways. minsan minumura ko siya, minsan natutuwa ako sa kanya. my relationship with Him is really something im proud of.

before, id panic for a short quiz, but now, even though i have biochem exams coming in the next  hours, one sip of coffee would calm me down as i feel in the warmness out of the cold hard headed night. well, but that doesnt mean my grades are better. wahaha

as life was getting harder. my approach for it was getting simpler and simpler, until it comes down to one single solution. one single essential thing to answer the freakin complicated puzzle of the 4th day.

LOVE

if i love what im doing, studying wont be a burden.
i love days thats why even though i dont have a car this weekend, i still tried my best to go on the three days.
if i love serving people, it  wouldnt be a burden for me to wake up early in the morning just to participate in medical missions which we dont get paid for.

like one song in days said, "love is the answer, to all our questions."

god it was hard for me to fathom that song before. but right now, its just so simple and pure and is just around. had always been just around. that all i need to face the world, is a little love in my heart.

and i know that that would be enough to move mountains, make me fly, and heck, make me pass Psychiatry.

so... ten batches.  2 years since the commitment, since i doubt, wept, trusted, and now, live.

i always come back to my Days. to the clouded skies of antipolo, the cold breeze of alpadi air, the sweet longanisa i had on the sunday breakfast, the songs iv heard on the second night, the feel of fresh rain on the first night. the gentle song of day by day, i just close my eyes and remember them like it was just happening again right in front of me. everything was so perfect, so good, so high. and after that, everything seems to be alright again...

days with the lord: an experience you wont forget, a decision you wont regret.

"and when the times get tough. and the world simply falls apart
ill come back to you, and let each tear i cry
wash away the fear i have inside
just like my days, my days with you oh Lord."+bil

first break of light.

"and we'll watch the stars go by
and we'll count the stars that shines at night
and together we'll watch the first break of light"

+bil

smell the love

wrote this one after the Metabolism long exam at Biochem lab.

Random thoughts... Med Life = napakalayo sa Grey's Anatomy

    "tell me your blue skies fade to gray. tell me your passion's gone away"

its 11.47PM and I just woke up and just about to start my Night of Reviewing Psychiatry. and right now as i'm typing this, i'm downloading the powerpoint lectures... and considering my grades in Psych... probably i wont sleep tonight...again.

i've been talking to myself a lot these past few days. asking myself what's happening to me cause it seems like im falling apart. i never spoke to anyone about this. which is something new cause my friends know me to be very vocal about everything...

i just failed three quizzes in one day. i failed the Neuroanatomy exam. god. that very easy Neuroanatomy practical exams. ang daya daya talaga. madali lang talaga yung test... malas lang talaga ako. nakakapanghinayang talaga. and the thing is, you have to move on as quickly as possible for you to be conditioned for the next exam... and the cycle goes on tomorrow, and the next week, and the next week....

so this is the career i signed up for...

and, god, it's far from what you guys see in Grey's Anatomy. very very far.


walang Hot chicks like Izzie,
wala yung lovelife na kung sino sino ang hot peeps and involved.. pero meron kang subsec na makakasama mo for the next 4 years... hanggang clerkship pare!
wala yung weird na cases every episode, pero perong mga weird exams every day
, sa Grey's, nakakadalaw pa sila sa Bar halos every night, hindi nagpapaxerox ng handouts, masarap pa ang tulog nila, eyebag-free ang mga mata nila...

Malayo ang mga buhay namin kila Alex Karev, George O'Malley, Meredith Grey, at ang buong cast. nageenglish sila. parang may time sila para sa lahat. at may time pa silang maglasing lasing at makapag-ayos para sa next episode. TV is so overrated. hahahahahha.

 aral na nga. :P