Hippocratic Oath

(my Entry on the Essay writing Contest last September. Nakachambang maka Second place kasi mejo nagmamadali kasi gutom nako nun at may Subsec party that night. hehe)

"Hippocratic Oath"

It was love at first sight.

The first day of Medical School, the flashed us the oath that was sworn upon by each and every doctor who walked this earth. I immediately fell in love with the oath: its history, its meaning, and the fact that so many people desires it yet so few have survived to get it. And as i sat in awe in front of these words, I couldn't help but wonder, "How will this school take me there?"

They immediately put our eyes in the prize. But of course, as we all know, the road to "doctor-dom" will never be easy. And indeed, it never was. Out came the rush of marathon lectures, exams, practicals. We were loaded with new terminologies, jargons, names. So many memory work that is more than a man would need in his life. The pressure was so intense that I started to crumble and ask, "Is this really a love worth fighting for?"

The answer came to me through a facilitator one daw who told me, "The strongest people have the most problems, the hardest trials. It's not because God wants them to suffer, it's because God trusts them enough that he knows you can get through it." From then on, pain became pleasure. Yes, the subjects always kept us running, not because our professors are sadists, it's because the believe we can get by.

In Med, I've experienced staying up till morning for a report only to be overhauled in the morning. I have missed family outings just because I have a date with Katzung, Robbins, or both. The ranting could go on, but then again, it is also in this process I stood in awe of the Human Body. Our professors always say, "How did God do that?", "Can't you see how wonderful this body God made for us?" In the fast pace pf med, they make it a point to stop for us to appreciate the view. UST Med pushed us so much that we are always on the edge. And they push us more, so that from that edge, we learn how to fly. We are bred to be competent

We're required to say "Hello" and "Thank You" to our patients, to be courteous and considerate. We're always challenged on what to do on crucial ethical situations. We don't hesitate to push wheelchairs, oxygen tanks, and we hold the hand of an old patient to help him walk to his bed. We are bred to be compassionate.

This school always xhallenge us to do more and be more. The journey into the Medical field will take us a lifetime. But this lifetime, will touch many more other lifetimes than an average life probably would. We will save lives. And whoever saves one life, saves the world entire. We are bred to be committed.

When I entered me, I have a lot of reasons: to be rich, powerful, respected, popular. But as II walk through this journey, those "impure" reasons were dissolved until there was onle one reason left... the classic reason that echoes around the walls of Medschool for all time: To Help Humanity.

Now, as I get nearer to the day I will recite that oath, I can't imagine myself from any other Medschool but UST. As I will raise my hand to recite my Hippocratic Oath, in my veins will flow the blood of Rizal, and all the other great doctors who have gone through the same rite of passage as mine. My name will rank among the biggest roster of doctors in the country. I will live the life the way our mentors have lived: Competent, Committed, Compassionate.

It was Love as first sight.

And this Love, is my gift to the world.

Dear God

Dear God.

How are you? I hope you're fine. Well, let's cut the crap, shall we?

For the past semester I wouldnt say I'm as faithful as you want me to be. Let's just say I'm lacking prayers. When I'm late for my class I just pass by your chapel and wink at you. I know, God, I look like a jerk. Walk by the chapel, sign of the cross, and then, wink? Who am I to do that? the Pope? Brad Pitt? my God. Seems like the only days I hang out in the chapel more are the days when we have Pharma tests. Yes, I pass by sometimes to say Thank You for me doing good, and rant most of the time when the test is bad. And probably forget you the rest of the week. The bottom line is, I'm an ass. And I'm sorry.

Tonight, God, I am once again afraid. And there is no better way i know of expressing it than writing this. I tried watching movies, talking to friends, watching TV, playing computer, but it seems like it just can't get off my head. I am hoping that after this, you'll tuck me in to bed with a peace of mind, with all the positivity in the Universe, and when I wake up, hear Good News...

Because tomorrow, a judgment is coming down upon us. From a distance, I'm kind of silly of thinking about this, because my grades are relatively better that my frist year in Med, but still, it's the wait that kills me. It's the paranoia that kills me. It's this fear that keeps me up all night. I really really want to sleep. I'd rather break up with her many many times than bear this post-semestral blues. At least in a break-up, I'm more used to it. .. But tomorrow, the grades for Surgery and Anesthesiology will be submitted to the office.

Lord, I know , I put a significant amount of effort on it kahit papano. I have this gut feeling that I will pass. I have written it on post-its, on my Vision Board, on every chamber of my heart. on my every sulci and gyri of my mind. That I will pass... But for this moment, I want to tell you that I'm afaid.That I'm gullible. I'm scared, God, I really am.

Oh my God (no, that's not an expression), all I ask, in the next hours, that the board bring Good News.

Amen.

this drought

this dry spell is taking it's toll on me. a lot of people are always asking me about it, but i keep on saying a variety of answers or excuses why not. so what's my answer anyway to that?

my most common excuse?

"i'm just too busy studying to think about her"

busy? bullshit.

it's funny when exams week end. specially after for almost a month long exams. when it all end, you'll fin yourself thinking the other day, "uhm, may dapat ba akong basahin?", "ano nga bang exam bukas?", "may dapat bang tapusin?" it's the post-exams syndrome. now i have so much time to catch up. so much to think over.

for a constant stimuli to be slammed on you everyday, even after it stopped, you'll feel like it's still there. so, let's go back to the drought. the dry spell. it's been quite. uhmm. oh. my god. i can't recall. since my last relationship. probably a year since a pseudo one. and the next thing closest to that would be a poke from someone in facebook, or a silly smile not intended for me by my crush/es. those stuff really means nothing but i'm forced to think that it's something so that ill feel a little bit kilig. crap. pathetic. it's not that i'm totally zero for the past years, but, there's just no one consistent. no one repetition. no fireworks or chuvachuchu moments. so this  is how a pizza tastes like without the toppings. it's all the cheeze and the crust and no thrill in it at all. for the past months, all were just appetizers or side dishes in this stupid game.

there were times that new one's are just coming right in front of me... but in those instances, find myself uninterested anymore to this game. it's becoming boring. monotonous. no challenge. or maybe it's just that i have curved my standards to a certain extent that the "ideal girl" suddenly just becomes just that: an idea. and that it's just never real. this drought sucks. but i have no choice. i have no right to complain. and yes, it may sound so hypocritical, but i chose this status. and it's not showing any symptom of changing my status at facebook from single to in a relationship with blablabla. no, i am not self pitying. no i am not sourgraping. i'm just stating my observations. i'm merely interpolating what happened in the past with the present, now i can more or less the this future picture. it's just plain simple truth. and the truth hurts.

but then again, because of this drought... of this ridiculous peer pressure... of society's expectations, i have learned to love myself more than ever before. i suppose it's defense mechanism. you dont love anyone romantically = no one loves you = so, you'll just... self stimulate... err.. love yourself. I have learned to appreciate how i appreciate life. I have learned how to love myself that i loved myself too much, and yes, it just follows, that you love yoursef, and the world will fall in love with you. I have learned to get over my insecurities and insert humor with it. i had more time for myself. my family. my friends. my brods. and myself again. see? i love myself too much.

so whenever this drought will come to an end, im sure i'd gladly move on from this dry to the wet phase (no pun intended) and still keep what i've learned from this drought.

She was right. not just one, but almost all of my exes were right.

I still have a lot to learn.

there's so much of life ahead. and so much things to learn.and when the time comes for the next. or the next, or the next next...

i will then have found what i've been looking for. whatever that is.

and i will.

may pagooutingan na ba ang barkada mo this sembreak?

may pagooutingan na ba ang Barkada o Pamilya nyo ngayong sembreak?

narinig niyo na ba ang POTIPOT Island sa Candelaria, Zambales? sinasabi nilang malinis, mas maganda though non-commercialized version ng Puerto at parang Boracay yung sand minus the crowd and the establishments
 

gusto nyo bang mag-enjoy at the same time makatulong sa tuition ko susunod na sem?

akala niyo ba joke to? akala nyo ba spam to? Hindi.

Follow this link:

http://beachousenidok.multiply.com/journal/item/1/Potipot_Island_Candelaria_Zambales

I can give you discounts if you ask (nicely)

nagenjoy ka na. nakatulong ka pa.

23 on 23

Twenty Three on the Twenty Third

im not a bit sentimental about this. i don't know.

but i am at least thankful that the vatican declared st cosmos and damien's feat during these week, that gives me an ample amount of time to celebrate.i love it. your birthday on the med week when the profs are not allowed to give exams. but still, like what i've said, im not that enthusiastic about this day. i dont know,. maybe i really am getting old.

lately i've been trying to concoct a good blog but they all failed to make it past the screen of first page. The last thing I want to happen in exchange for all these med toxicity is to lose my edge for writing. writing has been the remaining art among the arts and sciences in med. And this should nor remain stagnant because this mind will never stop exploring and wondering. Nakakalason ang panis na laway. Partly, I'm blaming facebook to this... it distracts me a lot. Instead of doing something productive or making a good blog, most of the time i'd choose Mafia Wars and Restaurant Rush over them. It's not healthy, but it's fun. But it's still not healthy. But it's fun. :)


Anyways, back to the blog. Probably I can say that this year, I've redeemed myself.

(okay, the emo hormones are kicking in)



this year, I can say that Failing is not considered a deafeat. Defeat is when you've given up. We irregs are not proud that we're irregs. But we're proud that we're still here, fighting for what we believe is worth fighting for. It's the heart that really matters in the end.



this year, I never EVER thought in my wildest dreams that someone will invite me to play a big role in DWTL. It still amazes me to this day that it happened. For those who know my story would probably be smiling now. God's timing, is indeedn, never too early, or too late. It comes in the right time, and pace. Just like when I lied down in the beach one night and on that moment, out came a falling star. The moments that you can never deny, that that star has fallen for you.



this year, I have definitely moved on. My definitions of love and relationships have been reconstructed. My standards have been reformed. Maybe we'll never understand when they ruin one's heart. After all, it's the heart. Imagine all the drugs that scientists make just to calm it down? Because when it beats too much, or too little, It's fatal.

This heart? It's for someone. I don't know who she is, but I guarantee you she's gonna be great. She will embrace me like how the beach embraces me. And she will be loved more than how i love my Mafia Wars and Restaurant City. She will be loved more than how I love Pharma and Patho combined.

This year, I realized this heart was never dead, Nor it ceased to beat. It was just that I was in denial. Denied of my own capability to love. That i just stopped putting my hand on my fifth left intercostal space, I just forgot it was there.

It has always been there.



This year, I still believe that my Family is still the best set of family you could ever have. A Dad who would not just inspire you, but challenge you to do more, and be more. A mum who's there to cheer me up, make fun on how I look, and laught about anything. and nothing Brothers and Sisters who would always share secrets with me. Who would take a bullet for me as I would take for them. Who would be proud of me wherever they go.



This year, I've made a lot of new friends. Beach Hous Guests. DWTL Peeps. New Brods. New Subsecs. each of them very unique in their own way. And i'm glad I'm accepted readily in their groups (or at least that's what i think? I hope i'm right)



This year, I have helped my parents get customers for the beach house. And that gave enough money for the 4 of us for this semester. For the first time in my life, the 4 of us are in full payment for this semester. I had the best summer job: putting guests on the beach house, and assuring them that they'd have a great time.


This year, the Frat is very much alive. And the bonds we have is something that i know i'd treasure for my whole lifetime.



I have so many things I should thank for. And tonight, I have nothing else to feel, but pure gratitude. For every single thing that happened to me, and the best that is in store for me. I have asked questions. I've been given answers. Life has given be the best surprises. the best of friends, the best family, the best people, the best facilitators, the best teachers.

I have redeemed myself so much this year, that I would like to call this a Rennaisance. (Hooray. I can spell it.) A birth of new ideas, of new great habits. A birth to a better life. An opening to new worlds. A paradigm change.

only at your very worst do you realize that life gets the better of you, only to extract the best of you.

twenty three years...
and we've only just begun.


(after re-reading this: it's funny i said "im not a bit sentimental about this." at the start, yet the whole blog was so sentimental. haha)

Eulogy

I never dreamed that she will come into my life. Not a single bit. But one day, she just suddenly barged into the scene and i was forced to replace the one I was with. I was forced to love her. And I never thought I will.

But i eventually did.

She became a part of my everyday life. My day will never be complete without seeing her. But when I realized that she is slowly deteriorating, we just tried to just cherish the time we have for each other. A month ago, I found out her vestibulocochlear functons are not available anymore.Her skin was shedding. And by the first impression, you'd definitely say she has little time to live.

And yesterday, August 18, 2009... She suddenly passed away.

Her name is O2 XDA Atom. And she has been my phone for more than a year. She was given to me as a gift from my Dad after they went to Malaysia. That forced me give up my nokia what's-her-name, but that doesnt mean I loved her right away.

She was stubborn at first. Unfriendly. And drains very early. And bulky. And touch screen.My first touch screen phone. I forced myself to like her. And love her. And I did... And in time, i realized, I love her so much. She wakes me up everyday, faithfully. And sometimes she's considerate that she let's me snooze 15 minutes more. She has an incredibly huge memory. She can make me surf the net. Record sounds. Watch porn. Play games.

She she had always been there for me. Everytime I study fo exams, she stayed awake with me. Papansin siya minsan, sometimes i'd throw her inside my drawer or cabinet so that i won't get distracted by her seductive looks. But at the end of the day, I'd still pull her out so that she could sleep beside me.

She had been witness to some of my love stories. To some of my glorious moments. To my bittermost defeat. To my healing. To the Me that's growing up. And to the new people that I meet, when i get their numbers. She has seen it all. I'm gonna miss the way people avoid my phone kung makikitext because she's sooo difficult to use. too hot to handle. I'll miss the way I have to charge her every 12 hours. The way she vibrates rigorously during silent mode. It arouses me, just kidding.

So many memories. I even kept a special folder inside for special messages from special people. The last ones were from Tin Pagala, Van Solon, and Caryl Paragua. Fresh from the Days weekend.  Whenever I feel down,  I just open that folder named, "life long bonds", and out comes the best text messages I received in my entire life, when Geli asked me to be the R of 70, when all my staffers were saying thank you, when Shen said 'sorry kuya', when Jhun said,"u passd!", when my Dad said, "I'm proud of you", the list goes on and on... and on. There couldve been more, but her lifespan is just until here.

then there's also one folder that's named: "That thing they call..." and it's full of the best love quotes I have compiled. And yes, it's named that way because Love is taboo for me... "the thing they called... Love." Because there are times I don't believe in it. Love? It's magic? and all that crap? There are times that I doubt love. that I doubt myself. But whenever i open that folder, it reminds me of Hope. Hope that there is Love. and that folder is kept on my phone, so that in that way, I'd always bring hope. and Hopefully, Love.

And then there's my contacts for the Business. The standard text message of, "thank you for depositing, i'm so excited to meet you na po with weekend to accomodate you sa beachouse", or, "the account number is 5766888xx BPI family bank. Please text me right away pag nasa bank na po sila at nadeposit na po so that i can reserve the rooms na for you" God it sucks losing it all.

And my contacts. All meticulously classified. "Ginel Faustino.Med", "Nina Dela Cruz.Bio", "Joyce.Stanger", naming Depends on where or how I met them. Don't get me started on the Days people. Each of them has DWTL in front of them, then their name, surname, and batch number... Then all of them are classified under "BIL", or "Staffers",or "Sexy Seventy", "Batch 54" for the easy group sending. And SJ brods. "SJ-UP Omar Sana", "SJ-AS Krish", "SJ Jappy Castillo I1-07", by chapter and by batch.

Oh jesus. It's sinking in. She's gone. My phone is gone.

------

But then again, I'd get a new phone. Probably second hand or maybe a new one. As long as she can text, group text, and she can call, I'll be cool with her. It may take some time for me to get over with my old one. But I'm sure I will. Wounds heal. Just give it time. And the given the necessary compensatroy mechanisms and coagulation factors, the healing will speed up...

And eventually, the new Phone will have a story of her own. She will be loved, and she will Love me like the one before her, or hopefully more. We'd store priceless memories, and we'll beat the memories that the previous has made. She will keep numbers of many friends, old and newm and some more special than the others. She will be there on my Pharma nights, she'll be there when I celebrate. She will be loved. She will be known to be mine, and mine alone, and she will know no one aside from me. She will tuck me in at night, at wake me up afterm she will have longer snooze time, she will be more resistant to my clumsiness. She would understand. She will be loved.

---

So as this Eulogy ends, so will my mourning do. But one day, when I look back, I know, there would be nobody like my O2. Nobody like her. Nobody nobody but you (clapclap clapcap) Nobody nobody but you (clapclap clapcap.) (nyak)

Goodbye. and thank you for being a great phone.

 

"2 Unread Messages" - last words niya

The Scrubs

The OR Tour

8AM,  in the Holy Cabinet of Scrub suits of my Father's. a pair of dark blue scrubs waited to be picked up. But it's not the Anesthesiologist-Pain Management Specialist who grabbed it. It was the Med Student, wearing it not for fun, not for bragging. Finally wearing it because the situation demands it. Finally.

With the words "I E Edejer MD" on it with the logo of "Department of Anesthesiology" below. The scrubs that was worn had been witness to craniotomies, appendectomies, CABGs, and even circumcisions. Been a cloth to bloody traumas. Been exposed to the sterile areas several times. Gave warmth in the cold nights of endless duties, conferences, and operations. This pair of scrubs have seen people die, but has seen more lives get better. It's the last pair of scrubs that patients will see before they get to sleep in the table. It's a battlegear that won a lot of wars.

For the pair of scrubs, thisOR tour was just nothing. but for me, God knows how I waited for this. no matter how petty this activity is, it means my whole career. Nah, I'm exaggerating...But seriously, I just love the scent of (almost) sterilized air, sterile everything (except my balls), clean shiny scalpels, clamps. I love opening people up, fixing what's wrong with them. I love the feel of flesh slicing, and blood coagulating, and suturing.

It was like having a mental orgasm being in there, getting face to face with the brain. The fucking brain, baby. Dr Tan had us toured at OR PAY (not the charity ward), because he has an interesting case for us to see. Amazing. Absolutely amazing. Though it was not the first time i was witness to a craniotomy, the feeling was all different... All Holy. Holy Shit.

(im the biggest guy at the back)

And, this, will definitely be not the last. For I will step in the OR again, and again, and again... until the time comes that I will get paid for doing it. Until the time comes that I will bring my own set of students to see my feat. Until the time comes that I'll bring my kids inside and watch daddy make money. hahaha. 

And by that time, I will have my own set of scubs. A scrubs with my name on it. A scrubs created for me to wear.

A pair of scrubs that will one day have his own story to tell.

AntiPsychotic

i guess the Pharma department should make an "evidence based" learning system where they give out a free sample for everyone and take the drugs that we might have to prescribe one day. at least we get to experience the effects and adverse effects first hand, right?


we had antipsychotics this week and I thank the Pharma Gods for not giving us a quiz last tuesday. It's gonna be (another) disaster when it happened but good thing it didnt. While having 5 minute breaks between antipsychotics, and antidepressants and all, i asked myself: "has any medical student taken stuff like these?" why can't we try one for fun and make Med a better and happier place for at least one day? Of course, they wont make us use it.


The difference between a Patient in the Psych ward and a Medical Student is that the Psych Ward peeps are properly medicated, and we, med students, are not.

So we treat ourselves with our crazy dose of prescription:


Rx
    1) Red Horse, 500mL
        # 5 bottles,
        Take orally, consume in 3 hours
        Until symptoms alleviate.
       
         NB if symptoms still persist, fast drift IV, 500mL.

     2) Sizzling Sisig, 200 g
         Take orally in sync with drug #1 to pacify vomiting reflex
         with Chili sauce recommended.
        
         Apply drugs with supervision of a friend.
         Warning: that friend might look better and better after every intake of Alcohol.

Repost: Hello, Again

Bihira lang naman mapublish ang Sulo (official organ ng UST-FMS), at bihira lang mapublish ang gawa ko (na walang halong kontrobersya. hahaha.) So, nagsama ang dalawang bihira.

Maraming salamat kay:
Dra Dakis - sa pag-edit at pagbalita sakin na nasama pala ang gawa ko.
Corie Iniego - sa pagsabing dapat magpasa ako ng article sa Sulo.


Sa mga naniniwala sa aking talento (kuno) sa panunulat (buti hindi sa panunulot :p ) Maraming Salamat.

Eto ang original, at undedited repost ng "Hello Again" na malay ko bang mapuoublish pala sa School Paper ng Med.

BTW. ipapaframe daw namin to. hahahaha

===

Hello, Old Friend
posted june 14, 2008. link, here

"Did you miss me?" she said

"I dunno. Well, did you?" he said

"I guess so. Its been almost 2 months. And you didnt even bother to visit me"

"Why the hell would I visit you?"

"i thought we had something." she replied, "though we went off on a bad note,"

"Well, I was starting to have feelings for you. I stayed up so many nights for you. And sacrificed quite a lot of gimmicks. a lot of times when i shouldve slept, or went out with another. but still, i chose you. and then, what did i get in return?"

"So you're blaming me now?" she asked

He was silent.

"I know, and I understand,. i know i am someone hard to conquer. A lot of people did the same sacrifice as you did for me. Some of them did even more. I may be harsh on guys like you, but im doing it for a reason. I'm sorry on what happened last april 10..."

He was avoiding her eyes and just sat beside her. "I'm sorry too. I had a lot going on that time"

"i know"

"but, yeah, it's my fault. I didnt do what i was supposed to do. I have a lot of shortcomings to you, you know. i was just too overwhelmed with your presence. you're too, great, and hard to handle. too unstable. one second where i dont look at you for a while, and then, you're too far away that i cant follow you."

"but a lot of others did."

"i am not them"

then they were silent

she was looking at her left chest pocket. the pocket where a nameplate used to hang proud and shining. and he noticed that she was looking and he shyly said, "i know. im not worthy"

"it's just a name plate" she said

"ill get another one. a gold one this time." he sighed. "so im back. what now?"

"im glad you're back"

"me too. im glad im back. well ok -- i missed you, you know that? the feeling sucks when im so anxious to meet you tomorrow for a big test, or a practicals, or a marathon lecture, or a marathon exam. i know the feeling sucks, but i missed that. i missed the drive to wake up the whole night. i missed the rush. i missed the feeling of passing, and drinking right after. i missed that. i missed you."

"i missed you too. i prepared a harder hell for you this year, but it seems like things have changed. maybe next year. and you better prepare for that. in the mean time, fix yourself first."

"be kind to my friends. i'll be needing their samplexes. and notes."

"you know me. im never kind."

"i know. haha. but youre worth it, i hope"

she just smiled. then said, "just do better this time, ok?"

"duh. of course. of course. i learned the hard way. the long way. and i dont want that freakin lesson again"

and then he went home. having that weird feeling of maybe accepting his fate, and hoping that he'll do better this time around. Last year was quite a ride for him. This time, it's a whole new set of people, new last number on the year to graduate, a new level of studying, but still that same dream, same drive, and same old love he felt when he first saw her face. he was determined to conquer her. and the bragging rights that comes right after.

it was karl and med talking

the Road to Doctor-dom: the Second Week of my Second Second Year

so 2 weeks of Second Year Medical School, after tons of orientations from different subjects i finally felt like we're back in the Hard Court once again. Ganap na uli akong med student at ititigil na ang pabanjing banjing last year.


Surgery 1 was a little disappointing. I expected otomies and ectomies and introduction to the starlight shiny surgical instruments and the coolness of Thomasian Surgical Practice... but unfortunately, the first lectures were... Blood, Hormones, and Immunology. Motherpooper. My hatest hatest haaaaatest topics in the Medical Field (so far.) I hate talking about coagulation, and the factors, and magcrophages and crap. I hate prothrombin and bleeding time and crap.  I want hands-on suturing and slicing and dicing. I want suspense. I want to take a peek at an endoscope, Tie wounds, Retract and crap. Too bad wala nang cat surgery para sa batch namin :( dahil daw may bagong rules and ethics board at masyado daw maarte yung mga dapat gawin kaya wag nalang daw. boo-hoo for us.

like what Dr Dakila said, "Medicine is easy". Cmon.

But when Practical Minor Surgey came, nabuhayan ako sa Neurosurgeon naming faci. Di ako nakakatulog sa mga kwento niya. Almost an hour of talking and talking and talking and my heart was just pouding with joy just because Im hearing stories from the Surgical Universe.

And the topic was just handwashing and sterilization. Haha.
 

Anesthesiology! Dad's Sanctuary. His forte. So I have to do good. No. Not just good. I Have to be great. I may not want to be an Anesth but of course I have to make Daddy proud... and so far... No quizzes yet. Sana OK ang faci namin pag practical applications na.

Medicine I Med bag is still in the making. And I still have to raid my dad's stash for any treasures I might use. This time, we get to be (they make us feel), like real doctors. It's really how to save a life.

Hindi na ako mangangarap na maging unang pasyente ko ang isang artista o hot model kasi malabo yung makita sa UST non-pay, pero pinagdadasal ko namang sana'y hindi isang uhuging bata na iyak nang iyak ang una kong pasyente. Huwag sana mukhang tiyanak. Huwag sana mabahong hininga. Huwag din yung nakasalok ng rabies. Huwag sana coma patient (pano ko maiinterview yun?), at higit sa lahat, oh my Lord, huwag sana siyang mamatay sa harap ko. Buena mano naman sana diba? First patient ko yun eh. Yung mga Diabetes lang or TB or Sheehan's Syndrome or GERD. Or pseudohermaphroditism, ok na yun.

MPPRC Chill. If in Medicine I, we get to practice being a doctor, at MPPRC, we are trained how to think like a real doctor. Act like a researcher. And how to die like a clerk (it depends on who your faci is, of course). And. And, they emphasized how that 5% to be inserted to all M-P-P Subjects and it could be a lifesaver. I sure hope it will.

Pathology is like putting Physio, Biochem, Histology, Genetics, and Anatomy aligned in a bowling lane, and then God struck them down. and our role is to study how the pins fell. How near are they to each other and if the pins could be reversed. But wait, there's more. The universe is just so awesome that they gave a name to each change, each lesion, each abnormality, normality, degree of abnormality, and severity.

... in my own innocent eyes, they all look the same. for me, the damaged ones are either the less colored or the overcolored cells. And I can't name them. Yet.

Pharma Pharma Pharma
God made Pharma. And God has permitted the department to give us a 150 item essay test on Tuesday for 3 topics. 3 like the Holy Trinity Perhaps. God made Pharma because being a doctor will never make sense if we don't know how to fix what's wrong with it. If God made Pharma out of his image and likeness.

I'm doing a lot of self hypnotism lately. I repeat the words, "I love PharmaI love PharmaI love PharmaI love PharmaI love PharmaI love Pharma" over and over again until I believe that she loves me too. That Katzung loves me too. It's quite effetive actually. It's just that it consumes half my study time. The moment i saw E-tho-succ-i-mide (at mali pa daw ang spelling, thanks ate carms! ;p ETHOSUXIMIDE!) and Phenytoin and Levodopa and friends, ipinasadiyos ko na lamang ang lahat.  But God can't memorize that for me eh?


and oh, by the way... Kamusta na ang Epid research?






Hmmm... So that's my week. If you think i'll make a weekly digest for this "road to doctordom" churva: No, i wont. I just want to kill time and release the English-speaking out of me.

Request kay God

Lord, kung gugunawin mo na ang mundo, pwedeng One Time Big Time nalang? yung walang maeexempt at walang masasaktan at mabilisan ang lahat?

kasi nakakatakot pag may swine flu, at earthquake, at ulan ng hiyelo, at giyera, at buhawi sa pilipinas, at pharma pa. unti unti ang kamatayan. may takot effect pa kasi. at gagastos pa ang DOH, Government, WHO, at UN pag may calamities.

Lord, kung gugunawin mo man ang mundo, pwedeng isang bagsakan nalang? para walang pagluluksaan at walang magluluksa?

tsake Lord, pwede bang surprise? yung tipong di matatakot ang human race dahil wala na kaming panahong matakot, by the time na narealize naming dapat natakot kami...sumalangit na kaming lahat? At pwede bang tulog kaming lahat pag nangyari man yun? Para pag-gising namin, yung akala naming aircon ay sa clouds na pala ng pinapangakong langit. At andun ka na. At bibigyan mo na kami ng malaking hug.

Seryoso. Natatakot ako kay Mother Nature. At Sa Korea. At sa Pharma. 

Or better yet, Panginoon, pwedeng wag mo muna nalang gunawin ang mundo?

Gusto ko pa kasing mag-asawa. Ayokong mamatay ng walang kaholding hands na hot chick. Pero bago yun, gusto ko munang maging doktor. At bago mag-asawa, matagal ang selection process, diba? At pagkatapos nung mga yun, gagawa ako ng maraming anak. yung magagaling at matatalino. Pero pano yun? gugunawin mo na ang mundo pagkatapos nun? Pano na ang apo ko? Pano na ang apo ng anak ko? Wag nalang kasi mag end of the world. Sabi nga sa bible, mag e-end of the world daw pag babalik na si Jesus dito... uhmm.. pwedeng huwag mo munang pababain si Jesus dito? May picture naman siya sa lahat ng simbahan eh. Merong smiling Jesus pa nga. May movie pa nga siya dito eh. Can you tell him to enjoy langit muna?

Lord, huwag mo nalang gunawin ang mundo please.

Pwede bang sa Malacanang nalang ang Lindol? at sa Congress nalang ang swine flu? at pwede bang kung mag-ge-gera man ang US at Korea, sila sila nalang. Magkita nalang sila sa isang place na walang tao bukod sa kanila tulad ng antartica (syempre, paaalisin muna ang mga penguins), tapos magbarilan nalang sila dun. magbombahan sila hanggang gusto nila? Pwede bang sa Antartica nalang ang pag-ulan ng ice? Mas bagay dun diba? At pwede po bang ang buhawi ay sa Mars nalang? or sa Jupiter?

huwag muna kasi... ipapasa ko pa ang Pharma. May dapat pa akong patunayan.

At, Lord, madami pa akong kailangan patunayan.

Sa pamilya ko. sa friends ko. sa mundo. at sa Iyo.

Malay mo, pag napatunayan namin na ang human race, willing magbago. Na pwede naming gawing better place ang planetang to. Na may puso rin pala ang bawat isa sa amin...kahit si Gloria Arroyo, kahit papano, merong puso yan (although, Lord, alam kong nagdududa ka minsan kung ginawan mo talaga siya ng Puso)... Malay mo mapatunayan naming pwedeng mag-unite ang Earthlings para masave ang Earth. At dahil dun, malay mo matuwa ka sa mga citizens of the world...










...at kunin kaming lahat ng sabay sabay.


joke lang.

Lord, malakas ako sayo (sana).

Don't make gunaw the world muna.

V for Vendetta

No. Actually. V for Vneck.

My previous batchmates are now wearing their glowing shiny Vnecks this year. Some sort of "award" maybe when they pass Patho and Pharma. and for most of them, it looks good. It gives them a sense of "respect" para sabihing, "Huy, third Year nako mehn. Hari na ng Med" (because as we all know, the Seniors are getting burned on the other building across the bridge for their Clerkship) In all fairness, for the girls most of them looked hot on it. except for some. hahaha. but mostly, the Vneck scored points to their hotness factor.

For some reason, I try to avoid seeing them. Seeing Austin, Moogie, Greg, and the rest, just keep me reminded that we faltered along away that made us less worthy of those new uniforms. That this collar that im wearing is supposed to be gone. I've been wearing this before-shiny-now-off-white uniform for 2 years now, for god's sake. But then again, I'm done self pitying, im done with that last year, there may be pain, but it doesn't reach threshold anymore... I guess all i can do is be proud of them that when we started as a class of 125 students, they are the 100 something that were left, and that's including irregs that fell from the upper batch. So I have no idea what the real number is.

Next year. Me and the Irreg team will be wearing that, too. We, too, will be proud of wearing those new shiny uniforms as we walk down the halls of ust medschool. It may be a year late, but still, we'll get to wear that. We'll get there. We'll all be there one way or another, like what I always say,  "In God's time. in God's freakin time"

Gusto kong maging doktor

(ang tagal ng download, kaya napapa-emo ako)

naalala niyo pa ba nung bata tayo, lahat ng tao gusto maging doctor? o kaya abugado? at yung mga taong nambubully sa ating gustong maging basketball player? o kaya presidente daw ng Pilipinas?

tapos habang lumalaki tayo (lalo na ako), nabubuksan tayo sa mga kung anu-anong posibilidad na mga pangarap?

'sino kaya ang nagdrawing ng cartoons na pinapanood ko?
wow, gusto ko na palang maging kartunista,

o kaya 'sinong gumawa nag sculpt ng Oblation?"
wow, gusto ko nang maging Sculptero (?)

o kaya 'anong ginagawa ng mga taga kanto ngayon?'
shet, gusto kong maging kantotero (oops)

pero, hindi nga. anong nangyari sa mga pangarap na maging doktor, abugado, at basketball player ng lahat ng tao sa Pilipinas? matapos nga silang madistract ng kung anu-anong Job Opportunities sa mundong ito, ang iba gusto nang maging astronaut, rockstar, at manny pacquiao.

So, Elementary palang, nangyari na ang una nating screening process... ang madistract sa ibang pangarap. Pero matigas ulo ko nun.Kahit mahilig ako magcomputer, favorite subect ang math... Gusto ko parin maging doktor.

Sa Highschool ko naman unang nasabing, "punyeta, ang hirap ng Science," actually elementary palang ay hirap na akong iclassify ang mga Go, Grow, at Glow foods, how much more kung sino dito ang Protein at Carbohydrates? siguro Fats, kaya ko identify. Ang hirap ng periodic table. Ang hirap nung orbitals. Ang hirap ng meiosis, mitosis, botany... basta agham, nahirapan ako. Pero hindi naman dun natinag ang pangarap ko. Kasi alam kong hindi lang palaka ang basehan ng anatomy, at hindi kailangang imemorize ang periodic table para lang makapagreseta. So far, the dream was still on.

trivia: ang lowest ever grade ko sa Highschool ay 78. sa Biology. Yung teacher lang ang gusto ko nun (the Goddess, Ms Cielo Pineda) ironically, BS Biology ang kinuha kong pre-med. Bata palang, masokista na ako.

Natanong palang ako ng dad ko nun, "bat ba gusto mong maging doctor?"
Ang sabi ko sa kanya, "Kasi nakita ko, andaming umaasa sayo kapag nagkakasakit sila. ikaw lagi yung tinatawagan, ikaw yung pinupuntahan. Yung iba walang pambayad, pero nakikita mo naman kung gano sila magpasalamat sa atin. sobra sobrang paggalang at kahit ano mangyari, andun yung utang na loob nila sa yo. E pano kung nawala ka na? sino nalang ang papalit dun? diba?"

Hindi ko alam na sa loob loob ng aking Daddy Bear ay tumataba ang puso niya sa sinabi ko. Ang hindi niya alam, pinabulaklak ko yun dahil ibibili daw niya ako ng Dunkin Donuts pag sinagot ko yung tanong niya. Hehe. Pero, syempre, totoo pa din yun.

So, natapos ang Highschool at ang "Road most travelled",ang pangarap na pinakagasgas na sa yearbook ng Elementary ay nabaliktad... panahon ko, lahat gustong maging nurse... basta sa klase namin, 8 nalang ata kaming nangarap mag doktor. Imagine, out of halos kalahati ng elementary kaming mga bata dati, naging walo nalang sa klase?

Biology na. Ngayong andito na ako sa med, masasabi kong napakadali pala ng biology. well, mahirap... pero, kumpara pala sa PT, mas pipiliin ko mag biology. At the same time, wala masyadong natutunan na pang med. kumbaga, pang pasa lang ng NMAT ang mga natutunan mong med related. the rest, pang National Geographic. Maganda, mahirap, pero, sorry, mejo mahirap ikabit ang Invertebrate Bio or Ecology or Cat Anatomy sa Med. :s

kaya... Fast Forward nalang... Medicine Proper.

tadan. First Day of UST Med, uupo ka sa umaga at ipagmamalaki ng paaralan ang sarili nila. "the BEST Medical School welcomes the BEST pre-med students in the country", may librang pakain, at ang Tour-de-Med , may isang doktor na humirit sa amin habang kumakain,

"I wish every day in Med School is just as easy as this, isn't it?"

Shet. English. Napangiti nalang ako at kinain ang pansit na kinakain ko. Oo nga, sana nga ganito kadali, pero alam naming lahat na pagkatapos ng araw na ito, lulunurin na kami sa kaalamang pangdoktor. Wala nang minor subjects (uhmm epid pala), at lahat related na sa human body, kung paano ito gumagana, bat ito nasisira, at paano ito ayusin. Wala nang Rizal Course at Trigonometry. Wala nang SCL at ETAR.

Ganito pala ang mundo na walang minors. Nakakaumay. Wala nang subject na ililihis ang atensyon mo sandali with the the Med stuff na nangyayari.

Mahirap ang Med. Maraming napapatanong kung bakit nila pinasok ang ganong propesyon. Pera? Kapangyarihan? Pinilit ng Magulang? Wala kang magawa sa buhay? Trip mo lang maglustay ng milyon ng magulang mo? Gusto mong maghiganti sa ex-girlfriend mo na dinump ka dahil sabi niya wala siyang future sayo?  Isa isang mawawala ang mga dahilang yun. Isa isa mo silang kukukwestyunin at ang karamihan buburahin sa listahan. Hararap ka sa impyerno ng Pharma, Physio, Patho. Meron palang isa ngang subject doon na pangalan palang, nalunod na ako: Otorhinolayngology. in short, ENT.  Di ko alam kung mahirap yun, wala pa kong ganung subject eh. Kakausapin mo ang sarili mo ng maraming ulit sa kalagitnaan ng mga gabing hindi matapos tapos: "Bakit ko ito ginagawa?"

Mawawala ang mga dahilang binanggit ko kanina. Pero merong isang dahilan na lalabas. Isang dahilang bunga ng init ng impyernong pinagdaanan mo... Kilala mo ba si Panday? kapag gagawa siya ng espada, iinitin niya ang bakal, hahatawin ng todo todo, babasain, at iiniting muli para mawala ang impurities ng bakal para maging ganap itong espada. Para din yang Med. idadaan ka sa init, hahatawin, at titinagin para maging matibay at mawala ang mga makamundo mong dahilan hanggang matira nalang ang pinaka purong dahilan na naririnig sa bawat Medschool Entrance interview: I want to be a doctor because I want to help humanity.

...

Oo nga naman... nalampasan ko nga naman ang di madistract para maging Computer Engineer para gumawa ng bagong Playstation nung elementary. Nalampasan ko ang Biology nung Highschool kahit ginapang ko yun. Nalampasan ko ang BS Bio, ang thesis, ang NMAT, at nandito na ako sa pangarap kong paaralan... Siguro naman, yun palang, maganda nang dahilan yun para masabi kong, "I still wanna do this because i want to help humanity" Oo, bumagsak man ako ng isang subject dati, pero given all the blessings I got, ang kapal naman ng mukha ng subect na yun para idrop ko ang pangarap ko.


Gusto kong maging doktor dahil gusto kong ayusin ang mata ni Shan. Ang Liver ni Daddy. Gusto kong ayusin ang puso ng mga pasyente ko, para sa bawat paggaling nila, maaalala ko ang lola ko, na kung sana pinanganak ako ng mas maaga, at naging doktor agad, kahit papano maaagapan ko sana yun. Gusto kong magtuli sa mga pinsan kong supot. Palakihin ang boobs ng mga crush ko nung bata ako. Isa ako sa mga unang makakahawak ng anak ni Pae, Shan, at Shen... malamang yung anak ko rin. Shet. Maiiyak ako pag nakita ko ang unang iyak ng anak ko. Sperm ko yun mehn. Kalahati ng chromosomes niya, sakin.

---

"Paglaki ko gusto kong maging doktor"

Napakadaling sabihin. Ang sarap pangarapin nung bata ka. Ang sarap isagot sa mga teachers mo, kahit na sa loob loob nila, "haay. isa nanamang batang nangangarap." Pero ngayon at nandito na kami.... at sa bawat na araw na palapit kami ng palapit sa aming pinapangarap na letrang M at D na nakakabit sa aming mga pangalan, alam naming marami pa kaming kakaining bigas. Marami pang gamot na kakabisaduhin, pasyenteng mamamatay, at kapeng iinumin. Mahirap. Magastos. Madugo. Pero kung kapalit nun ay magagawa mo, in your own special way, na gawing better place ang mundong ito... siguro naman masasabi kong worth it itong lahat.

Masarap yung feeling na nagtatatanong yung mga kamag-anak mo o kaibigan mo sayo kung anong gagawin nila sa sugat nilang hindi gumagaling, o sa pag-ihi nilang masakit, o sa premature ejaculation nila... Kahit na ang nasasagot ko so far sa kanila ay, "hindi ko pa alam eh :D" ... Tapos pag alam mo na ang sagot, magpapabayad ka na. Joke lang.

Kung papanoorin ko siguro ang sarili ko nung elementary na sinisigaw sa klase na, "Gusto ko pang maging doktor" (ala That's my Boy) Mapapailing nalang ako at matatawa... pero hindi ko siya pipigilan. dahil mula sa mga munting sigaw na iyon na hindi nagpatinag habang lumipas ang panahon, andito ako, at tinatahak ang daan para bigayang katuparan ang mga munting sigaw na iyon. Mag-iiba iba man ako ng dahilan, isa rin ang role na aging gagampanan... ang ultimate gasgas linya ng lahat ng doktor sa mundo:

To help humanity and make this freakin world a better place.





Pero ako, syempre, kasabay nun, gusto ko pa ring maging mayaman. :)

Mother's Day Special

Masydo na bang late? this is supposed to be posted last MONTH since tagal na yung mother's day, nilagay ko sa draft tapos ngayon ko lang naungkat uli.


Quotes from my Mum:

"Hoy Karl, kung gumastos ka akala mo kung sino kang mayaman ah? Ako lang ang mayaman sa atin, hindi kayo"

------

"Akalain mo, ang laki laki mo nang tao nagkasya ka sa tiyan ko?!"

-----

Phone rings. "Ma, bakit po?"
Mommy, "Uhmm... di ko alam. Mamaya nalang"

------

Mom stares at me for a long time...
"Bat ang pangit mo na Karl? ano nang nangyari sayo?"

--------

"Pae? ilan ang guest limit sa debut mo? naku 250? pano ba yan, 200 palang dun, mga friends ko.. 50 nalang dapat friends mo ha?"

---------

gay nung debut ni pae, ginugupitan ako
gay: ang gwapo nitong panganay mo tita
mommy: ay yan si karl? sus. pangit pa yan, tignan mo yung mga sumunod sa kanya"

minutes later... shan nd shen arrives

mommy: o bakla, diba ang gwapo nung iba? wala lang yang si karl

(nice one, ma. hehe)

---------

(pag highschool friends ang pinag-uusapan)
Karl: "Ma, punta lang po ako kay JC, yung highschool friend ko"
Mommy: "ah yung gwapo? sige lang anak"
Karl: "naks, basta gwapo at maganda yung friend ko naaalala mo noh?"
Mommy: "hindi naman mga gwapo't magaganda yung mga naaalala ko... minsan natatandaan ko rin yung mga ibang friends mo na saksakan ng pangit. nalilimutan ko lang yung mga in-between. "

---------
mom (sa text): karl, nagbayad na ba ng downpayment si jessa para sa resort?
karl: di ko po alam. ikaw po may kilala dun, contact mo yun, kaya kaw na po magtanong syempre
mom: ay oo nga naman. katabi ko sya ngaun eh. hahahaha.

-----------


karl "waaaaaaaa. ang hirap ng Med maaaaaaaaaa!"
mom "ikaw kasi. to help humanity ha?! buti nga"

---------

karl: ma, magdorm na ako, para naman malaking ginhawa sa akin"
mom: HUWAG KANG MAGDORM!
karl: bat naman po?



mom: mamimiss kita



awwww. Happy Mother's Day Mommy Bear! :D

Hello, Pharma.

bago palang tayo nagkita, minahal na kita...

ngayon pa lang sasabihin ko na. mahalin mo rin ako. balita ko nga napakahirap mong mahalin pagka't napakataas daw ng iyong pride at blockbuster ka daw sa mortality last year. pero against all that, mamahalin kitang parang pagmamahal ni Vicky Belo kay Hayden (against all odds). Parang pagmamahal ko sa LOST at One Tree Hill at Survivor combined. Parang pagmamahal ni Jesus Christ sa sangkatauhan, (pero not to the point of death, syempre, pano ako magiging doctor kung patay na ako diba?)


Kakaenroll ko lang kanina... Lahat ng mga incoming second years lumabas ng Med building na may hawak na brown envelope. Akala ko kung anong raffle man yun or certificate ang binigay ("I passed Physio?"), yun pala... tadaaaaan! ang unang Buena Mano mo, ang appetizer mo, and 160 pesos mong panimula sa isang taong tiyak na magiging makulay... kulay dugo.

pagpasok ko ng Physio/Pharma department, sinalubong ako ni Mam Monet ng isang pagkalaki laking ngiti at sinabing, "karl! congrats! magpapharma ka na! o wag ka na dito dun ka na sa kabilang department"... , buong tapang kong tinawid ang kabilang ibayo ng department at tadaaaaan! ayan ang Diyosa ng Pharma...

*drumroll*

Dra. Llamas.

syemre nandun din si Handouts Goddess na si Mam Bee, at grabe ang ngiti niya sakin, "Ayan, magpapharma ka na!" sabay kumanta ako ng "Bakit ngayon ka lang"... nagtawanan silang dalawa... Si Dra Llamas, biglang sinabi, o, irreg nanaman, tama nang Physio nalang ha? ngayon pa lang mag-aral ka na. may quiz tayo sa first day. why not? first day of classes may exam.

"naku mam, may outing ata ako nun"

"icancel mo na. icancel mo ang lahat para sa pharma."

"oo nga po, pharma major ako ngayon eh. buti magaan dahil wla nang micro and others"

sabay tawa. tumatawa lang kaming tatlo hanggang paalis ako. at sabay isa pang hirit ng word of wisdom ni Dra Llamas sakin:

"Sige lang, tumawa ka muna ngayon" with a grin on her face

Time stopped. And her words echoed many times inside. a cold wind passed by, and outside, it started to rain again, and all i can hear were the hisses of paper coming out of mam bee's lair. we all know what she means. She's not trying to scare me, she's just stating the cold truth...

That Pharma is going to be Epic. I've been warned by every Medical student who've been through it, some will be taking it again, some said goobye to UST Med just because of it. Even the gods of med said it's hard. Even the Residents say it's hard. Even the professors say it's hard. Maybe even God would say it is hard?

This is it. The battle of drugs, antibiotics, narcotics, analgesics, NSAIDS.
The battle of endless monday nights, of eternal thursday nights,
of prayers
and of faith,
and of willpower.

Hello to the Love of my Life
Hello, Pharmacology.

Let's do this.

(for non-med peeps, Pharma is believed to be the Hardest subject in UST Med. Has the worst mortality rate, even worse than Revalida.)

Our Little Princess

our little girl just celebrated her debut last saturday :)

and like what Dad said, no matter what happens, when she grows up and have a family of her own, she would always be our little princess. :)


i realized that the more than one year of planning for a 5 hour debut is, indeed, worth it. :) because we can see in her eyes that she really was happy. :) and we are too.

gatecrashers should be tortured to death. and i realized, when Pae said, "huwag mong uupakan yan kuya.", i immediately complied. (but i ran to the Misa and dwtl table to rant about it, haha)

i realized She has so many friends. and so many people love her aside from us. hahaha.

the four of us are all growing up. but then, we are all growing closer together, all growing up together. That there will always be a time where the 4 of us will sit by the sofa and laugh about how our life's going about. laugh about each other, and laugh about ourselves.

and DWTL has made us more close. after every weekend, while all of us are going home tired, we'd still talk about how the batch has been and how great He is. especially when someone dear to us is a candidate. ahem. kirk. ahem. :)

and again, we are, growing up. and growing old.  but like what a dwtl song says, "Together you and I will grow in love, walk through rough times hand in hand."

that with all the girls i know, she has the only right to shout at me. because i know she'd say sorry right after. :)


and yes, i'm drunk while doing this. haha. :) I love Pae. I love mi familia. I love mi Life. :D

Kambal sa Uma

jusmio. wala na bang maisip ang mga pinoy? Channel 2, ok lang ba kayo?

nakakasira ng araw. napakagandang pambungad sa umaga ko.

Sino ba naman ang maniniwala na ang kambal ay isang DAGA?!?! tapos yung other half  ang ganda ganda? sigurado ba kayongng iisang placenta lang ang pinagswimmingan nyo?

At sino ba namang artista ang papayag sa role na yun? Isa kang kalahating daga at kakambal mo ay si shaina? Euthanasia nalang mehn! Euthanasia!


Panginoon, patawarin mo sila, pagka't di nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa...



Una Kokey, tapos Bakekang, tapos ito? ano nang next?

"Ang nanay kong manananggal",  Starring Ruffa Guitierrez and Anabel Rama. Ruffa: "Mother why are you so ugly and you produced a goddess like me?"

"Ang syota kong kabayo",  starring Joross Gamboa pero may twist. pinagkakaguluhan siya nila Mariel Rodriquez, Toni Gonzaga at Bianca... Gaganapin yun sa loob ng PBB house.

"Ang basurera kong mahal na taga Outer space",  Sarah and John Lloyd. kayo na ang mag-imagine

"Kris Aquino at ang kanyang Illusions of Grandeur"  - all about her. 5 times a week, 1 hour a day. followed by.... " Kris Aquino and Baby James" Another 1 Hour. Pwede ring magsubscribe sa Kris Aquino 24 Hours

o remake ba ang gusto nyo? how about:

"Mara and Clara and the Cyborgs" since nag-asawa na si Mara at Clara sa tunay na buhay...well, tuloy pa rin ang buhay... every end ng episode nagsasampalan silang dalawa para matuwa ang lahat ng katulongs all around the world.

"Ang paghihiganti ni Valiente" - may lightsaber na siya. At may ewoks na alagad.


"Mula sa Puso: Celina's Revenge for the Nth time" -- remember? nasagasaan si Celina sa season finale ng Mula sa Puso? nabuhay siya nun mehn. At siya ay magbabalik na may prosthetic heart, knee, hands, pero lagi siyang nakashades para mukha pa ring kontrabida.



jusko naman. bat ganto ang mga palabas ngayon?

A Year Ago Today

A Year Ago...
The week of April 10, 2008.

If there is one week in Medschool that could singlehandedly determine your fate, it would be the week of remedial exams. Make or break. All or Nothing. Pass or Fail. No more second chances. It's the single exam that determines your stay in Med: Stay the same, stay longer, or goodblye. Last year, I took quite a lot. Passed most of it

... and on April 10, 2008, I found out that failed one: Physiology. 

This is where this story begins.



This blog was supposed to be written a year ago, just as that picture above was taken. It's just that i was too devastated to write the blog. A year ago I cannot wrap the reason behind the failure, how much more when i wrap it with words? I Failed an 8 Unit subject that will hold me back for a year. Ironic that Physiology is the only subject i PASSED during the first shift.

I dont want to relive the gory details. All I can tell and remember, is that, I locked myself inside the house for one whole week, spent 60% of the time sleeping, and the remaining percentage, I wished I was asleep. I forced myself to forget, but then again, i cannot forget that for it will get back to me sooner or later.

I didn't go to any outings that summer. except for one Laguna Escape. I didn't pursue any plans I had this summer. No advance readings or Gym memberships. No Plan. No Life. I just cultivated my thoughts on me, failing. me... failing. I was a failure.  i even considered the thought of quitting medschool that time. changing a career. or just, wished to die just to save me from the shame. i know. it's so emo. it's so me.

----


Come Physiology take 2.

They say love is sweeter the second time around. That's not true in Med. Because those ghosts of Signal Transduction, and Hormones, and Immunology haunted me again. Aby and Alay told me sila daw bahala sakin sa section nila. So kind of them. They made adapting to a new section become so easier. Section C 2012 has been great to us, they treated us as their own, and didn't marginalize us just because we are irregs. Thanks to them. Specially C5. Special mention to our buddies doon Sharon, Patacs, WINSTHTON, Nong, Iggy.. and of course, Aby and Alay. They made it a LOT easier for us. Love may not be sweeter the second time around, it wasnt that bitter either.

Fast Foward... Today.

I've always asked myself... What if I didnt fail that day? What if, im not 4, or 8, or 2 points short?  What if I passed last year's exams?... I probably would be struggling now, or preparing to wear a V-neck. My I haven't found myself yet.

This school year, because of the non-toxic sched, I became a part of Medisine, a lot of inumans, met a lot of friends, became closer to my siblings, bonded more with my parents and cousins became staff of UST DWTL 69 which put me perspectives right on track... And like what I've always said, I probably failed Physio last year so that It will make way to me to become R of USTDWTL70,hahaha. At DWTL 70, I relived my Days experience. And reminded me of the little wonders that i still have inside me. It reminded me of His plans. That little by little, I see the answers. All I have to do, is have faith, and believe. There is a plan. Basta Ikaw

Failures, are indeed not obstacles that we stumble upon. They are springboards for us to reach higher, and jump better.


---

So, as i was sitting there at the sand, under the orange-pinkish skies, and the waves, slightly pushing and pulling me. and as the sun unselfishly showers upon his final flecks of ultraviolet shade upon my toasted face, a smile has drawn upon my face for i realized something... this exact spot where I was sitting, was also the same spot that i chose to watch the sunset least year.

A year ago today,
I didnt believe in myself,
I didnt trust myself.
I was just full of pity and regrets.

But then again, somewhere along the way, I realized that maybe I was beating myself too much. I was punishing and becoming mad at myself more than what im supposed to be.

I realized That I'm too young to be bitter and suicidal.
That I'm too smart to quit med. (we all are smart :D )
That I can always be damn better than what i was, and am, and will ever be.

That life is too beautiful, to spend it in hatred. in regrets. in bitterness.

Because in reality,
                 I'm just beginning life.
                                I'm too young to give up on hope.
                                                 The best is yet to come.
                                                                        And We've only just begun +

And finally, I have forgiven myself...
for every stupid mistake I did in the past
that made me the strong person that i am today.

From a text message I received last year:

"The strongest people has the most problems,
the worst situations,
It is not because God wanted us to suffer.
It is because He, trusts us enough
that he knows, we can get through"

Where is TV?

(Spoiler Alert)

bakit ang pangit na ng Grey's Anatomy ngayon? Dati masyado akong attached pag nanonood ng Grey's Pero ngayon, di ko napapansin chinechek ko yung email ko habang pinaplay yung Grey's...

nagsimula to nung sa episode na si Izzie ay nakikipagsex with his Dead Ex boyfriend? WTF?!
and parang wala nang sense ang mga storya... Nasira yung etits ni Sloan, nag-away si Meredith at Cristina pero parang wala lang, yung mga loser interns nila ang bobobo. Tapos sex nalang sila ng sex sa isa't isa.

tapos walang episode na magsasalita yung isa, tapos, yung isa tahimik. tapos pag napuno na yung isa, sisigaw nalang siya dun sa kausap niya or magtataas ng boses, tapos magwawalkout siya...

and ampangit umacting nung boyfriend ni Cristina. halatang pilit. nag audition ba siya o nakipagtalik muna siya sa isang producer para ma-hire na agad?

at bakit parang bawat episode walang progress na nangyayari sa kanila? meron kung meron pero sobrang onti lang. para ngang ndi mo na kailangang irefresh pa sa part na, "Previously on Greys anatomy"...

and what the Hell did Saydie do there? tapos bigla bigla ding umalis? bat bigla na rin umalis si Dr Han dahil lang nag-away sila ng Cheif? Bakit kung sino sino nalang characters and andun at basta basta nalang sila umaalis after nilang makipagtalik sa isa't isa?

anong nangyari sa Grey's?




bakit ang pangit na ng House ngayon? Dati masyado akong attached pag nanonood ng House Pero ngayon, di ko napapansin chinechek ko yung email ko habang pinaplay yung House...

Bakit angpanit ni Foreman? At bakit naging syota niya ang Hot na si Thirteen?

Speaking of Thirteen, pwede na nilang palitan ang title ng show na House at gawing " 13's Huntington's" halos kalahati na ng airtime sakanya. yung other half naman kay Cuddy at sa paggawa niya ng anak

At bakit bumabait si House? nasaan an ang kupal na house na minahal nating lahat? hahaha

at asan na ang mga astig na cases? bat ngayon parang hindi na nila ineexplain masyado ang pathology ng Patient? dati meron pang animation ang mga RBC at interstitium nung patient pero ngayon, nagugulat nalang ako nasolve na pala ang case at tapos na pala. What?

At para na rin Grey's. Pwede mong panoorin ang mga episodes sa halos walang particulkar na order pero makakasunod ka pa rin kahit papano.




bakit ang pangit na ng One Tree Hill ngayon? Dati masyado akong attached pag nanonood ng OTH ngayon, di ko napapansin chinechek ko yung email ko habang pinaplay yung OTH...

kasi naman, wala na silang problema nung end ng season 4... so ngayong season 6 na, ginagawan nalang nila ng kung anu anong walang kwentang problema.

I Love OTH and all pero, ampupu naman, tapusin nyo na to kasi matatanda na sila. Magaganda ang mga quotes nila, pero merong isang napakawalang kwentang episode talaga na hindi ka pinanood dahil sa sobrang walang kwenta. imagine mo, buong episode, ay isang PANAGINIP?! walang progress. walang wala. parang tanga. sayang. ok sana yung start ng season nung namatay si Q pero hindi naman nafollow up. Tsktsk.

mas marami pang loyal fans ang Wowowee kesa sa OTH ngayon.




owel. masarap lang talagang mag rant. LOST pa rin ang best TV show ever! at SURVIVOR pa pala! hahaha..

Cobra Energy Drink

52 Hours na akong gising ngayon. At labag ito sa kalooban ko. Uminom kasi ako ng Cobra Energy drink.... sabi nila, bibilis lang ang heart rate mo nun, e sabi ko naman mabilis naman talaga ang heart rate ko kasi hypertensive nako kaya walang mawawala.

At doon nagsimula ang aking krusada...

sampung piso lang ang bili ko dito... at sa 10 na yun kapalit na niya ang mga ginagawa kong panggising sa sarili ko:

1. dinaig pa niya ang panggising sakin ng isang Venti ng Frapucchino ng Starbucks (tama ba? di ko pa alam iispell. cmon)

2. pagpapakurot sa isang kaklase sa aking brachioradialis, or triceps long head or sa risorius. preferrably cute ang kukurot. Next year magpapaclamp ako ng surgical clamp para magising ng ganap.

3. maginternet at manood ng "Educational Videos" *grin*

4. maglaro ng Farm Freny, o Sally's Spa

5, Magspontaneous jumping jacks sa bahay

6. Kausapin ang sarili: "Karl, gising. Ampota. Gising gagu. gising na, kaibigan, bangon na, harapin mo ang silangan... SUNOG! SUNOG! KAAAARL!!!" reply: "saaaan?!", reply, "ayan, gising ka na!!! yehey", "shet karl, tinakot mo ko karl"  <schizo?!> 

pero di ko na kailangang gawin kahit isa sa mga yun dahil graaabe ang effectivity ng Cobra Energy drink. Gising na gising nun. Pero meron din akong napansin mga Adverse effects ng Drink na yun:

1. HINDI SIYA MASARAP. lasa siyang carbonated na calpol. bukod sa mukha na ngang ihi ng kabayo ang kulay niya, ang sagwa ng lasa niya. may kanya kanyang panglasa ang bawat nilalang. siguro nagugustuhan siya ng mga jeepney driver, kargador, barbero, construction workers, basurero at ni Amai pero ako hindi. Buti nalang may pampalubag na loob na bubbles na nagmumukha siya tuloy na softdrinks. Pinipikit ko nalang mata ko pag iniinom to.

2. Speaking of mata, mga 10 minutes after the onset ng drug na yun, may mga times na nagbblurr bigla ang mga mata ko. Hindi ko alam kung dahil lang sa katabaan ko yun at HB o puyat at pagod lang talaga pero first time kong nafeel yun.

3. Pag nakahiga ka hindi ka aantukin. Parang pinagbabawal kang matulog ng ininom mo. Pinilit kong matulog. pinilit kong tamarin pero hanggang stage 1 sleep at madali kang maistorbo sa maliliit na stimulus.

4. ang sakit ng ulo ko lalo na sa may bandang occipital lobe paggising ko mula sa pseudo sleep. Pero hindi ako inantok sa exam kanina kahit mahirap ang exam.


so ayun... i had one nung Wednesday morning at isa pa nung Wed night... lutang ako ngayon. di pa rin ako makatulog pero gusto ko. gusto ko nang humiga sa kama dahil tapos na ang Micro Finals pero di ko pa rin magawa... Gusto ko nang managinip pero tumutunog ang phone ko at nagigising ako uli, grabe... dalawang bote lang yan ng Cobra

...o di kaya placebo ko lang to? what if flavored carbonated kalawang lang tlga ang cobra energy drink?

...pero ito lang masasabi ko... kung ayaw nyong matulog... try nyo ang Cobra....
at ako, ittry ko namang matulog uli.. :s

Anti-Facebook

Ayoko ng facebook. Akala ko cool mag facebook. No offense facebook die hard fans, pero Facebook Sucks. Masyadong komplikado. masyadong madaming applications, at kinakain talaga ako ng lahat ng activities doon.

Kung magaadd ng friend palang ang gulo na...

Friendster:
click add as friend,
itype and email o apelyido (minsan di na kailangan),
tapos na-add mo na yung friend mo

Multiply:
click add as contact,
ilagay ang relasyon nyong dalawa, at
optional na mag-iwan ng mensahe

Facebook: akampucha.
Add as friend.
View friends?
__ Mutual Friends
Do you know people that might be friends with her?
add a personal message?
Do you want to recommend friends to her?
Do you want to flirt her?
Send Flowers?
You have just added ____ as a friend,
click here to write on Her wall,
click here to check out her profile,....

oh Jesus Christ.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.. hindi ba pwedeng add nalang tapos ok na?!


Eto pa... kapag pupunta ka naman sa newsfeed, makikita mo naman parang halos lahat nalang ng aktibidades ng kung sino sinong mga tao... "Karl Edejer says face book sucks", "Jeseth MArie De Vera is pissed off with the laundry lady"

hindi lang yun, yung shoutouts na yan, may nagcocomment pa jan, at nagcocomment pa sila sa mga comments ng may comments ng may comments?

Eto pa... magbblog ka na nga lang kailangan meron kang mga taong i-no-note. para saan? hindi ko alam mehn. Magkaiba ata ang note at blog? at bulletin? at Gossip? malupit pag gossip, kasi pwede kang magiwan ng impormasyon sa kakilala mo at anonymous ka.

Napakakumplikado, sobra. kung sino mang unang magfafacebook ay paniguradong maooverwhelm sila sa mga pangyayari, pero syempre eventually masasanay sila... Ako? hindi. hindi ako masasanay... Tinry kong mahalin ang Facebook sa pamamagitan ng pagpatol sa lahat ng appications niya and i ended up sa kung saan saan mga site at di ko man lang naaprove yung application na yun.

Nakakairita na nga ang mga nag-iinvite sayo tapos irerefer mo pa mga friends mo sa kanya, pero mas nakakairita ang mga applications: Send Good Karma (icclick mo yung kaibigan mo para may mapuntang good karma sa kanya.),  merong namang Fan Request, tinry kong magclick ng isa, yung "I AM A Filipino" , kala ko once na naclick mo na, ok na, pero hindi, andami pang pinapapindot. ipaparefer pa sa friends, tapos ipaparate pa yung application na yun, tapos magrerefer pa sila ng ibang applications: Are you a fan of McDonald's French Fries? OMG. it never ends.

Idamay na din ang poke. "Abi poked you | Poke back" What the hell? Masaya bang nagpipindutan kayo online? siguro pag sa tunay na buhay maiintindihan ko pa, pero, online? ewan. At nang may nauso pang iba: ang Super Poke.  anong ginagawa nito? hindi ko alam. di ko pinatulan, siguro hindi lang poke ang magagawa mo, pwedeng Mega Poke kung saan buong braso mo na yung ipapangPapansin mo sa ka facebook mo. Or buong palad mo imbes na daliri lang ang ipapanhawi mo sa kaibigan moi. ewan. di ko magets. di ko kinakaya.

napapagod akong magfacebook. sapat na ang kasimplehan ng friendster at multiply sakin. masaya akong pag naguupload ako ng pictures, di ako nagtatag ng mga tao, magnonote at nalalaman ng buong facebook community. masaya akong kahit papano merong pribadong bagay pa rin sa akin, hindi yung pag heartbroken ka, mei mga nakalaang emoticons at status changes sa facebook mo na angkop sa nararamdaman mo. Mas maganda kung may misteryo at di mo nakikita ang lahat...

Pero hypocrite ako, meron akong facebook. Ang hypocrite ko, para akong si Ra___. Tinatangkilik ko pero naiinis ako. Para akong gago. Kahit papano tinatangkilik ko ito, pero sana magsawa sila agad at mag multiply nalang sila.

Naniniwala akong may pag-asa pa para magbalik-loob ang mga tao sa multiply. masaya ang multiply.  Oo maganda ang interface ng facebook at mga gimik at kung anu ano pang pauso. pero para sakin ay masyado nang nakakaumay. nakakapurga. friendster na blogpage na multiply na YM combined? parang ok pakinggan no? nah. ayoko. haha.

at malamang ndi ka magcocomment dito dahil busy ka sa facebook account mo. nyehehe.


watch the vid i posted sa comments.. it's worth it., hehe

Feb Fourteen

I said I'll never write about this. But, here i am. haha. I can't fight the itch and i want to get over this nice and quick:

I never liked V-day.

I don't remember any good heartjumping thing that happened to me, or any romantic chuvachuchu crap i felt on any Feb 14 in the entire timeline of my life so far. But to be clear, I'm not sourgraping., im not bitter. I'm just, uhm, uncomfortable...and I'm just expressing what I've observed. This day is just overrated, and I feel like im not that Valentine's type of guy. Why? Because Roses are triple the price, traffic's a killer, and in the end I always end up sleeping alone. Sometimes happy, sometimes wondering, sometimes just staring, and last year i was probably studying. or sleeping.

Oh. How could I forget last year's valentine's anyway? Went to Dangwa for roses to suprise someone, and right when I bought the roses, she just said nakasakay na siya sa FX pauwi. It's not her fault, of course. Duh, she doesnt know I'm to suprise her, bat nya pipigilan ang sarili nyang sumakay ng FX diba?... The roses I were holding that time were then equally distributed to some random female friends. Loss of one, Gain of others i guess. Close, but still not enough to qualify as a good Vday.

I remember Jhun 3 years ago being bitter about it to that point that he doesnt want to mention the word. I remember meeting my girlfriend in the main building and i tried my best to pull her to our Science Week exhibit but she said she has to go... to watch a movie with her friends.  I remember staying at LSQC for the whole day to help my bestfriend JC to prepare for something for his girlfriend. I remember just watching the sunset at Zambales sunset alone.

You see, I could go on and on... and on. I could enumarate a lot of rants regarding this day, and yet, still deny that I am bitter. Haha. How stupid? I could go on forever... but I know someday in the future, there will be one V-day that will defy this losing streak, this curse, this dry spell. Vday has been this same this year. But I know this cycle will change.I'll try Maybe on the next, or maybe next next. Nevertheless I'm still hopeful. Hopeful that I'll one day watch the Vday sunset with someone, that the flowers ill buy will land on her arms from mine, hopeful that I'll go home late because I had a date on valentine's. That one day, I am to blog and post something sweet and positive and worth posting in multiply.

I am always hopeful that I'll one day become a successful surgeon, a cool dad, blablabla... I might as well also shine a glimmer of hope of a better Heart Life. It's probably time i stop beating myself too much.

So that's it. This Feb 14 blog. I still cant move in the words "Happy" and "Valentines" together but at least they're inching in closer every year. And I'm not worried that they wont. Because I know someday, I'll have my kick-ass Vday. I trust this proccess. I trust life. And I trust Love.

as for now, I'll probably just be drinking this year's V-day till i sleep...

...Alone.

Updating the Xmas wishlist

Last Nov 23, I posted a Xmas wishlist, if you want to take a look, click here and now, Now, let's check the ones that are granted.

1. A Great Upcoming DWTL 70 (check!)

(I soooo loved our Batch! This pic is the most decent Pic i have from my cam, di kasi kami nakapagpapicture ng mas matino eh. Owel. But we'll see each other sa 100th Day Dinner sa Feb 24 eh. hehe)

2. Kick-ass irreg Party (Check!)

(lahat ng bagay napapasaya ng Alak. Lalo na kung traydor ang alak at di mo alam na may tama ka na pala.)

3. Xmas Party with 4bio1 (uhmm. half check? = Zeth's Binyag?)

(sana mas madami mag-attend sa kung anu mang event ng 4bio1. dapat kasi may manlibre at malapit lang sa UST para maraming magpuntahan. Dapat din may tsismis para lahat ng tao macurious at magpuntahan parin) :p

4. Inuman with Subsec. with the Beer Bong (Check!)


(as usual, may nagwala nanaman nung lasing na siya)
(walang picture, though. Pero all the boys of B2 were there except for keith and francis... and doria?... ... boo! Twas a pretty drunk night. Good thing I safely drove home safe. Whew!)

5. Attend Simbang Gabi sa UST. Kahit isa lang. (Boo!)


(wala akong naatendang simbang gabi. ang pinakamalapit ko sa simbang gabi nun ay  nung paskuhan... pero nabigo akong magising ng maaga nun.)

6. Party ulit ng Misa Family sa Bahay (Check)

(though not as many as last year's, we still did party during the new year and the day after had a picnic sa bukid. really a different experience for us)

7. Eat Pizza ng walang okasyon (duh! Check!)

(just 5 hours ago and last week too, we had pizza with the Misas and Moranas just to celebrate our cousin-ness with each other. hahaha)

8. Great Grades (3/4 Check?)


(above is the subject i am learning to love as of the moment. i'm doing ok with the rest, but this subject? Good Lord. May God Help Us All. :s)


9. Free Education for Children (not now i guess?)

(i love love loooooove this cute kid. wala lang. :D free education for Bien! haha)

10. Watch a Fireworks Show (check!)

(Best Paskuhan so Far. Nuff said)

11. Krispy Kreme for Xmas (nah)

(i dunno but i suddenly lost the cravings for KK. owel)

12. Her hapiness. (and this is good cause i can finally say it) (Check!)

(she may look like a guy here in the pic, but, well, she's not. duh. haha. i dont have to worry about her. She's a happy person, and I know she's well and happy and contented with her life. And that's good. And that's very good)

13. Read Twighlight (nah)



(i just realized twighlight is quite... uhmm... too malandi/mushy/ too Belle De Jour for a guy like me? Maybe the book is just for girls, i dont know. hehe)

14. A High School Reunion (wisdom and semi creme and havoc peeps) (1/3 Check!)

(just Wisdom. I'm STILL waiting for my 2 other barkadas. :p )

15. Great Health for my Family (of course!)

(doktor si itay. :p hehe. But seriously, I think we're all doing well.Thank God for that)


16. Wag nang lapitan ng pangit na guys/animals/manyaks si Pae (check!)


(hindi siya to. pinsan namin yan na kaklase din ni pae. hehe)
(medyo ok naman boylet nya ngayon. natatakot nga lang magpakita sakin. siguro kung papalipasin pa niya na di magpakita sakin withint fourteen (14) days, wag na siyang magpakita sakin forever, ndi ko naman xa kukupalin eh, kailangan lang tlga nyanng magpakilala sakin. Duh. Hinahatid niya si pae sa bahay tapos di siya makapasok sa gate? good thing ndi na umeepal yung Claretianong loser na pati ako ginugulo.)

17. Get rid of my disturbing panaginips (check)


(getting better sleep nowadays. :))

18. Have the money (and motivation) to pay for a Gym membership (Check!)

(I paid naaaaa!. :D Hot pa yung ibang Interns. oh Yeah.)

19. More Paying Patients for my Dad (Check! read the 'my Dad' blog)
20. and a Promotion for my Mum (Half-Check, may Rakets siya ngayon that gave her extra moolah)


(tignan nyo? kahit kainan toxic sila oh. hahaha)

21. Wag na sanang magnakaw ng mga gamit namin si Manang. (Processing...)


(Kape, Asukal at Milo lang naman ninanakaw nya eh, pero may sistema na kami para imanage ang mga gamit dito sa bahay.)

22. Additional Dentists for UST Health Service. 1 Dentist for the whole university? Cmon (Haven't Checked yet)

(maawa naman sila sa mga estudyante ng UST.)

23. makapag-isaw sa UP (Not yet...) (anyone?)


(i miss eating street foods)

24. Magsawsaw ng kamay sa Holy Water nung sa Church sa Ateneo. Ang ganda kasi ng church na yung at yung lalagyan ng Holy Water, the Best! Tas magppray ako kung may time. (Di pa din! Sabay dapat to ng Isaw Experience)


(siguro makapagsimba na din kahit papano. Never nako nakabalik sa Pollock sa Ateneo ah, kakamiss)

25. Stargazing with Alcohol while lying at the sands of Zambales beach


(izoom-in nyo nalang, may stars yan, pramis hehe. lasing na kasi ako nun eh)

26. A good NMAT score for my friends taking NMAT on the Dec 14th (pending)




(para next year, theyll be suffering too, like us! BWAHAHAHAH)


27. Lower Gas Prices (check!)


(ito yung sa bataan na binlog ko din dati. grabe ang Diesel nila noh? 5 pesos lower than normal!)

28. Lower Jeepney Fares (check!)


(8 Pesos nalang binabayad ko sa Jeep from UST to Frisco)

29. Forgive myself for all the screw-ups I made this year (Check!)



(the DWTL Weekend Helped me that. A Lot. In the Pic above: Me and JC Garchi... coincidence? haha)

30. And finally, an Everflowing Supply of Money. Bwahahaha. (Check!)


(theyre called, My Parents. joke. :D  Dunno, my wallet's pretty well fed these past few months.)


So far, mukhang OK naman. :) Since the DWTL weekend, everything went uphill. :) thank God for that.

I love Life.