this day is so off for me. not that something bad happened. it's just that nothing happened. and i feel like nothing's happening, or about to happen soon enough.
i feel like im boring myself too much. and when i realize that i do, i then overthink. i seem to be waiting for something to happen today. something magical, i guess. but all that's left for tonight is me, on my parent's room, half asleep, with a Physio SGD, and a Quiz pending for tomorrow. Two of them, but i can't even activate an Action potential just to evel lift those handouts...
there it is again, i just stared at my handouts. and she stared back. nagtitinginan lang kami at na parang naghihintay na may mangyari... if im a reg 2nd year student, this study habit wont work. but if ever i am, id probably wont make this blog because ill be to preoccupied studying Pharmacology for tomorrow's 100 item exam. I have a feeling my friends are gonna drink with us tomorrow after their Pharma. I can feel it.
i guess ill just sleep this one off. probably for 2 to 3 hours. just to reset my mind. though my body is far from dozing off, and still, im damn waiting for something that is nothing, ill still force myself to sleep. just to refresh. to reset. to recollect my hopes for the next day. hoping that tomorrow will be something worth waking up for.
i need a life.
Monday 30 June 2008
Sunday 29 June 2008
God is a Jealous God...
this is probably, for me, one of the biggest lies ever.
for me, God is just love.
kung merong ngang taong all-understanding at di nagseselos dahil napakalawak ng pag-iisip nila, how much more si God? ang kitid naman siguro ng isip niya kung magseselos siya dahil mas pinili long mag-aral than magsimba? na mas pinili kong magPSP kesa magRosary? hmm... ang corny naman ni God. that is, kung Jealous talaga siya.
Some people believe in a certain God. I define God, and the guy beside my defines God probablydifferently than I do...
I guess we make our own definition of God as we go along. Jealous. Nice. Cruel. Bitter. Loving. and our different definitions, sometimes deviate rom what is supposed to be. but then, i ask, is the 'church's definition' really correct? what about other religion's? which one's correct? if we are correct, we go to heaven? what about the others? they go to hell?
hhmmm
*people get killed when they talk about religion. some even gets cricified, so, no comments please. i dont want to get in to that debate.
if ever youll leave a comment, just agree. :P dont disagree. or else, just write, NO COMMENT. hahaha
for me, God is just love.
kung merong ngang taong all-understanding at di nagseselos dahil napakalawak ng pag-iisip nila, how much more si God? ang kitid naman siguro ng isip niya kung magseselos siya dahil mas pinili long mag-aral than magsimba? na mas pinili kong magPSP kesa magRosary? hmm... ang corny naman ni God. that is, kung Jealous talaga siya.
Some people believe in a certain God. I define God, and the guy beside my defines God probablydifferently than I do...
I guess we make our own definition of God as we go along. Jealous. Nice. Cruel. Bitter. Loving. and our different definitions, sometimes deviate rom what is supposed to be. but then, i ask, is the 'church's definition' really correct? what about other religion's? which one's correct? if we are correct, we go to heaven? what about the others? they go to hell?
hhmmm
*people get killed when they talk about religion. some even gets cricified, so, no comments please. i dont want to get in to that debate.
if ever youll leave a comment, just agree. :P dont disagree. or else, just write, NO COMMENT. hahaha
Friday 27 June 2008
it's kicking in
two weeks of my second first year in med. and except for Micro, everything going quite well... i liked my Physio Subsec, i like the people of Section C 2012, im still in good communication with my "old med friends", and "college friends", i jokingly call them that right now, and wherever i go, i feel like a candidate for the student council or whatever because people, brods, sisses, professors, techincians, security guards, tindera sa harap ng OPD wards are waving/saying hi to me wherever i go. i got that "charisma" from my dad, i guess.
the second years are starting to have a hard time right now. it's funny how much we complained during the first shift of the first year, realizing that it is the easiest shift of all our shifting here in the Medical Magical Marvelous stay here in Medschool.
Anyways, back to my "Old Friends" (hahaha), theyre starting to go around the wards. I said to myself, "that's OK, karl, hindi ka maiinggit." Shadi told me that it's not that exciting naman daw,a lot of info to ask, so, uhuh. And section C is extracting blood from each other, "Oh God. Gusto kong gawin yun. Clin Path.", but we irregulars started to formulate a plan to take Clin Path next sem (hope it works! 2 units dun yun!) Sec B just had a Patho test, i heard Kalads got high grades, good for them. but, the thing the got me soo green with envy was their subject named: (drumroll...!)
SURGERY.
OMFG. May Surgery na sila at inggit na inggit na ingiiiiiiit ako. I saw Hazel's and Geli's Pics of them Scrubbing in, and wow. I want to feel my hands being washed by some special chemical just to be covered by some gloves, and i want to feel the Grey's Anatomy rush, i want to feel like im in my Holy Grail. My Sanctuary. My Happy Place.
So it's kicking in. Maybe i looked at Hazel's Album for 20 minutes, and Geli's Album too for that long. Though i didnt become that emotional.(oh yes, there's a big chance that i should have, it's that a BIG DEAL for me), i just staaared at them. and nainggit for 20 minutes.
I just said to myself, "dadating din naman ako diyan diba?" like what i always say, "In God's time.
In God's Perfect time."
the second years are starting to have a hard time right now. it's funny how much we complained during the first shift of the first year, realizing that it is the easiest shift of all our shifting here in the Medical Magical Marvelous stay here in Medschool.
Anyways, back to my "Old Friends" (hahaha), theyre starting to go around the wards. I said to myself, "that's OK, karl, hindi ka maiinggit." Shadi told me that it's not that exciting naman daw,a lot of info to ask, so, uhuh. And section C is extracting blood from each other, "Oh God. Gusto kong gawin yun. Clin Path.", but we irregulars started to formulate a plan to take Clin Path next sem (hope it works! 2 units dun yun!) Sec B just had a Patho test, i heard Kalads got high grades, good for them. but, the thing the got me soo green with envy was their subject named: (drumroll...!)
SURGERY.
OMFG. May Surgery na sila at inggit na inggit na ingiiiiiiit ako. I saw Hazel's and Geli's Pics of them Scrubbing in, and wow. I want to feel my hands being washed by some special chemical just to be covered by some gloves, and i want to feel the Grey's Anatomy rush, i want to feel like im in my Holy Grail. My Sanctuary. My Happy Place.
So it's kicking in. Maybe i looked at Hazel's Album for 20 minutes, and Geli's Album too for that long. Though i didnt become that emotional.(oh yes, there's a big chance that i should have, it's that a BIG DEAL for me), i just staaared at them. and nainggit for 20 minutes.
I just said to myself, "dadating din naman ako diyan diba?" like what i always say, "In God's time.
In God's Perfect time."
Wednesday 25 June 2008
Fall From Grace
Lifted from Che's Blog, it's from Inquirer:
Fall From Grace
Venus Oliva M. Cloma
The “revalida” is the final examination required of candidates for the degree of Doctor of Medicine at the University of Santo Tomas (UST). It is composed of two exercises. The first covers basic medical sciences and, if one passes it, the student qualifies for the second exercise. This one requires the student to examine a patient chosen by lot, diagnose him and present investigative and therapeutic plans, and discuss in full a medical or surgical emergency, again chosen by lot.
I did not pass the “revalida.” I had the bad luck of getting a complicated case that I was not prepared to handle. Besides I was picked first to make a presentation and I had very little time to organize my thoughts. The result was dismal.
When the members of my tribunal told me their decision, I thought they were joking at first. When I realized how serious they were, I told them I had never failed a subject or taken remedial courses, that I was class president, hardworking, bright, honest and selfless. That I had organized the graduation ceremony, the class party and the retreat. That it was my birthday the next day.
They told me many good doctors they personally knew had also failed their first “revalida,” and the experience made them work harder. Now they are brilliant doctors. They felt that I would turn out the same way.
While they were talking, my heart was breaking. But maybe, so was theirs. They said that in “good conscience,” they knew it was what was best for me. I could not help thinking that if it were another tribunal, if my case had been simpler, I would have been graduating. But it is useless to think about that now.
I felt that in an instant, my life had changed. Was it all in vain? All the hard work and sacrifice I had made since I had this dream of becoming a doctor at the age of three, were they all in vain? My life, was it in vain?
With a heavy heart, I told everyone I met on my way out that I had failed. I was very sure the news spread like wildfire. I was part of the UST Medicine Revalida history.
I called my parents and broke their hearts.
In the dean’s office, my professors, whom I worked with, reassured me that this was just a temporary setback and that people would not judge me on the basis of just one exam.
I went back to our apartment and broke down. I wept and hugged my sister, and I mourned for what might have been.
After composing myself, I sent a text message to my friends, med and non-med alike that said: “I’m deeply sorry to say that I did not pass the “revalida.” I’m extending clerkship for three months and do a retake. I’m OK. I know in my heart I’ll still be a good doctor. Please don’t hesitate to talk to me.”
Almost immediately, people called and visited me. Those who came were in tears. I tried my best to be strong and comfort them, but ended up in tears myself. In that place of pain and sorrow, I recalled the prayer I grew up with, the prayer of St. Francis: “… Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope. Where there is darkness, light. Where there is sadness, joy…”
I was comforted by the things my friends told me. They told me they knew me as a dedicated student leader, a friend to all, and this failure wouldn’t change the way they looked at me. They said they would continue to believe that I would not let this obstacle stop me from fulfilling the dream I have devoted my life to achieving. Even my professors expressed their concern and sympathy.
It was painful to think that instead of inspiring others, I was causing distress.
If there is one thing beautiful that resulted from my disgrace, it is that I have come to realize that my family is bigger than what I thought it to be, that people are loyal and do not forget. For the past four years, I have established strong friendships and gained the respect of my classmates. They know me for my impeccable work ethic and strength of character. This fall from grace will not break what I have built for the past 24 years. Realizing what I have built, in the face of this trial, is enough reason to celebrate my birthday.
After pacing restlessly around the apartment, my sister and I went to the mall and hit the book stores. The answers to my questions seemed nowhere to be found, but I felt that reading would help. I bought an inspirational book, an art and culture book, and some magazines. I even saw “How to Change Careers” books, and I did not know whether to laugh or cry.
When we went home, I poured out my pain and anguish to my parents. Mom said she believed God has a beautiful plan for me. Dad held me as if I were a little girl again. I knew that if anyone was hurting more than me it was my parents. And because of their pain, an immeasurable sorrow swept over me. But because of their love, I knew I was not lost.
That evening, my mom’s colleagues, doctors themselves, called me. They quoted inspiring Bible verses. They recalled great physicians who stumbled academically and more than just recovered: they actually became highly respected physicians.
Amidst the adversity, but whole and headstrong and with my heart and mind in the right place, I will enter my 24th year of life with newfound wisdom. It is a new life. Just when I thought I was almost there, I have begun a new journey, a journey that will not just make me a doctor, but a complete healer.
I do not know yet what the reasons are, but I’m in a phase of acceptance. I know that He will “rescue me from the fowler’s snare,” and I know that life can only get better from here. I also know that although this may look like a really big problem, there are greater trials ahead.
I know that the next time I walk down the halls of the hospital, there will be sympathetic looks and whispers, in front and behind my back. I will not mind them. If some people show me sympathy I will appreciate it. I may have lost a battle but I will win this war.
I am not angry at anyone, not even with myself. I am humbled by this experience, but I am not, and never will be, insecure. I still believe in what I’m capable of becoming and I will use this experience to master the art and science of medicine, to grow as a person, and to reach out to others in the future who, like me, may fall.
I will be back. And I will be the best.
Venus Oliva M. Cloma, 24, is a medical clerk (4th year medical student) at the University of Santo Tomas Faculty of Medicine and Surgery.
Tuesday 24 June 2008
How to spot a Bio student
napansin ko lang to nung Med na ako. yung iba dito nakakaasar siguro, yung iba nakakatawa, yung iba baka sabihin niyong hindi totoo, sorry naman. haha
just for laughs. walang maoofend. haha. sometimes it applies to Medtechs and Psych and other courses din. pero malamang guilty ka ng 95% sa mga dito kung Bio student ka.
How to spot a UST-Bio student (especially in med)
16. Mahilig ka sa extra-curriculars. kahit ambaba ng grades mo.
17. Mababa ka pa rin sa Embryo nung Anatomy kahit na nag Embryo ka nung Bio. Sabagay, embryo ng sisiw at baboy yun eh.
18. Walang subject na ikaw ang bida. Pero wala ring subject na ikaw ang bottom feeder.
19. May kaklase ka nung undergrad mo na sumali Days with the Lord. At niyaya ka niyang mag Days pagkatapos.
20. Nagtulungan kayong magkakaklase nung bio kayo na sumagot ng Jologs Quiz ng CSJ.
21. Natakot kang mag Med. pero wala kang choice kundi mag Med.
22. Meron kang isang friend sa Higher Years na madalas mong pinagtatanungan.
22. Nagtaka ka kung bakit ang 1 sem kay sir Dilan or Ma'am Manansala ay halos 8 hours lang sa biochem.
23. Namimiss mo yung aquarium-like Dean's Office (some parts deleted) :P
24. Chicken lang sayo ang Histo ng Med kung nag Histo ka kay Ma'am Calwit.
25. Naarealize mo na ang mga Diyos na estudyante sa Bio ay maaaring maging mortal nalang sa Med. at tayong mga mortal dati ay... mortal pa rin. as usual.
26. May kaibigan kang medtech na kaibigan pala ng isa pang medtech na kaibigan pala ng isa pang medtech at narealize mong halos lahat pala ng medtech sa klase ay magkakaibigan.
27. Dahil diyan, nagtaka ka, bakit di mo naging kaibigan lahat ng Bio nung Bio ka?
28. In fairness, mas organized ang BioSem 601 kesa Clinical epidemiology I.
29. Mahilig kang maghanap ng butas sa Physio Protocol ng iba.
30. Matibay ang loob mo sa panglalait ng prof dahil alam mong mas malupit manlait si Sir Pavia.
31. Naiirita ka pag Hematology or anything Blood Related na ang usapan.
32. Naisip mo na kung sana yung study habits mo ngayong Med ay inapply mo nung Bio, edi sana naging Laude ka.
33. Pag merong nagsasabi ng "Specie", sinasabi ng subconscious mo na "SpecieSSSSS"
34. Hindi ka bumibili ng Banana Shake sa Med Cafe kasi amoy itong culture bottle mo dati ng Drosophila melanogaster.
owel. haha. i heart bio. peace!
just for laughs. walang maoofend. haha. sometimes it applies to Medtechs and Psych and other courses din. pero malamang guilty ka ng 95% sa mga dito kung Bio student ka.
How to spot a UST-Bio student (especially in med)
1. 1. Hindi mo kilala ang ibang mga kapwa mo Bio student nung first day ng Med. Nagugulat ka na lang siya na, “Ay, Bio ka pala?”
2. 2. Alam mo ang Genus at species ng isang bagay like Trichuris trichura, o Wucheraria bancofti o Schistosoma japonicum pero wala kang pakialam kung ilang spores at eggs at mga chorva nila.
3. 3. Kasama mo pa rin mag lunch ang mga Bio friends mo. Minsan pa, nag-aarange ka with ibang Bio friends sa ibang sections to lunch out together. Pero bihira kayong nakumpleto.
4. 4. Hindi mo ipagpapalit ang Bio friends mo sa subsec mo. Pero love mo subsec mo. Lalo na kung nanlilibre sila.
5.5. 5. Hindi ka nagtatrabaho sa Lab. Hinahayaan mo ang mga MedTech mong kaklase na gumawa nun. Bumabawi ka nalang sa SGD.
6. 6. Maraming magagaling na prof sa Med pero di mo pa rin sila ipagpapalit kay John Donnie Ramos.
7. 7. Tinatamad ka nang bumalik sa Main Building pero namimiss mo kumain ng Siomai dun.
8. 8. Kumakapit ka sa mga PT kung dissection, isa ka sa mga nakikikumpulan sa mga taong nagtuturo pa anatomy.
9. 9. Alam mo kung nasaan ang Pectoralis, Gluteus, Azygos, at marami pang ibang anatomical parts… ng pusa.
10. 10. Nagtaka ka once in your med life kung bakit Bio ang pre-med mo.
11. 11. Nag-bida-bidahan ka nung kymograph ang ginamit sa experiment ng Physio.
12. 12. Ayaw mong mag board exams. At masaya kang walang board exams ang kurso mo.
13. 13. Ayaw mo ring mag OJT. Ayaw mo rin maging Intern. kaya ka siguro nag Bio.
14. 14. Gusto mo lang, mag field trip. At mamulot ng specimens na itatapon lang paguwi. Pero never nagkafield trip sa med. hanggang Sapang Palay lang pag Clerkship.
15. Para sa iyo, ang Parasitology ay pinahirap na version ng Invertebrate Zoology.16. Mahilig ka sa extra-curriculars. kahit ambaba ng grades mo.
17. Mababa ka pa rin sa Embryo nung Anatomy kahit na nag Embryo ka nung Bio. Sabagay, embryo ng sisiw at baboy yun eh.
18. Walang subject na ikaw ang bida. Pero wala ring subject na ikaw ang bottom feeder.
19. May kaklase ka nung undergrad mo na sumali Days with the Lord. At niyaya ka niyang mag Days pagkatapos.
20. Nagtulungan kayong magkakaklase nung bio kayo na sumagot ng Jologs Quiz ng CSJ.
21. Natakot kang mag Med. pero wala kang choice kundi mag Med.
22. Meron kang isang friend sa Higher Years na madalas mong pinagtatanungan.
22. Nagtaka ka kung bakit ang 1 sem kay sir Dilan or Ma'am Manansala ay halos 8 hours lang sa biochem.
23. Namimiss mo yung aquarium-like Dean's Office (some parts deleted) :P
24. Chicken lang sayo ang Histo ng Med kung nag Histo ka kay Ma'am Calwit.
25. Naarealize mo na ang mga Diyos na estudyante sa Bio ay maaaring maging mortal nalang sa Med. at tayong mga mortal dati ay... mortal pa rin. as usual.
26. May kaibigan kang medtech na kaibigan pala ng isa pang medtech na kaibigan pala ng isa pang medtech at narealize mong halos lahat pala ng medtech sa klase ay magkakaibigan.
27. Dahil diyan, nagtaka ka, bakit di mo naging kaibigan lahat ng Bio nung Bio ka?
28. In fairness, mas organized ang BioSem 601 kesa Clinical epidemiology I.
29. Mahilig kang maghanap ng butas sa Physio Protocol ng iba.
30. Matibay ang loob mo sa panglalait ng prof dahil alam mong mas malupit manlait si Sir Pavia.
31. Naiirita ka pag Hematology or anything Blood Related na ang usapan.
32. Naisip mo na kung sana yung study habits mo ngayong Med ay inapply mo nung Bio, edi sana naging Laude ka.
33. Pag merong nagsasabi ng "Specie", sinasabi ng subconscious mo na "SpecieSSSSS"
34. Hindi ka bumibili ng Banana Shake sa Med Cafe kasi amoy itong culture bottle mo dati ng Drosophila melanogaster.
owel. haha. i heart bio. peace!
Saturday 21 June 2008
Bakit Gumaganda ang mga Med Students habang tumatanda?
Di niyo ba napapansin? Andaming magagandang Med Student sa Higher Years? at mas Hot sila pag suot na nila yung white coat at sexy undershirt sa loob? and even smoky hotter pag Consultant's Coat na yung suot nila?
of course may exemptions. Pero nagtataka lang ako, in a place where we are supposed to be in Hell, and everyone's sleep-deprived, and stressed, bakit pa sila gumaganda? hindi sa sinasabi kong wala silang karapatang gumanda, astig nga yun on our part eh, pero nagtataka lang ako... nasan ang wrinkles? nasan ang eyebags? nasan and adipose?
Nung naconfine ako nung January, yung mga Nurse ay Hot (though tapos na daw dun yung rotation ni Jnel), yung Medtech ay HOT tlga (may lagnat ako nun, blurred, but i know she's damn hot)(Hiy Zciannel! Hindi ikaw yun :P) at yung Resident Pulmonologist at Cardiologist! OMG. increase temperature, increase body metab, increase fever, whatever.
and i wondered? bakit kaya?
-Hindi kaya dahil nagtthrive talaga sila sa Stress?
-O kaya natuto lang silang magparebond and stuff (nagpapaganda sila para matanggal ang stress)
-O kaya nagiging maganda lang sila sa paningin natin kasi mas mataas ang lebel nila sa Medical heirarchy.
hmm.. makes me wonder... magandang thesis to sa Epid. hmm. haha. :)
of course may exemptions. Pero nagtataka lang ako, in a place where we are supposed to be in Hell, and everyone's sleep-deprived, and stressed, bakit pa sila gumaganda? hindi sa sinasabi kong wala silang karapatang gumanda, astig nga yun on our part eh, pero nagtataka lang ako... nasan ang wrinkles? nasan ang eyebags? nasan and adipose?
Nung naconfine ako nung January, yung mga Nurse ay Hot (though tapos na daw dun yung rotation ni Jnel), yung Medtech ay HOT tlga (may lagnat ako nun, blurred, but i know she's damn hot)(Hiy Zciannel! Hindi ikaw yun :P) at yung Resident Pulmonologist at Cardiologist! OMG. increase temperature, increase body metab, increase fever, whatever.
and i wondered? bakit kaya?
-Hindi kaya dahil nagtthrive talaga sila sa Stress?
-O kaya natuto lang silang magparebond and stuff (nagpapaganda sila para matanggal ang stress)
-O kaya nagiging maganda lang sila sa paningin natin kasi mas mataas ang lebel nila sa Medical heirarchy.
hmm.. makes me wonder... magandang thesis to sa Epid. hmm. haha. :)
Tuesday 17 June 2008
keep moving forward
last night, i sent a quote to my friends. the typical send-to-all-Globe-friends-text before i sleep. Last night's quote was from Senator Clinton, she said
every moment spent on looking back, keeps us from moving forward.
i didn't absorb that quote that much before i sent it. basta ko lang sinend. unli eh. then, 12 hours after, i went on with my day. I woke up 8AM. and my classes start by...8AM. 2 hours , one tricycle, one FX ride later, i was having a 5 item quiz about microbes.
matching type! it'd be better kung Chinese Characters nalang yung nasa left side, at Latin letters sa right side. kasi parang ganun lang din yung test. nag-random diffusion-lukso-ng-dugo-with-isang-HailMary ako habang nagtetest, pero, nasa "Blessed are you amongst women" part palang ako nang sabi nilang "PASS YOU PAPERS" Jesus Christ. Are you forsaking me...again?
and then Physio take 2. It sucked. It brought back memories. and it reminded me on how i hated that subject last year. (just like any other subject, actually.) During that 4-Hour Season Premiere of the Physio Department, i was just silent. (well, by silent, i mean, not as jolly as the usual me. but i still talked naman. imma die if i didnt for 4 hours <yes, i talk while sleeping>.) And Doc Tim told me that im setting a bad example by coming in late for his lecture. (Sorry naman po, Doc)
At around 6PM, my friends who just had a Pharma Quiz texted me, iinom daw. Me, Moogie, Pia, Dhanna, Rej and Al had a hindi-naman-basagang-inuman sa The Pit.
Maybe Pia noticed (this is not Pae, my sister, but my classmate which i also consider a sister) noticed that i was pretty sad, hiding behind my stupid jokes and smirks. So Emo. Sooo Dashboard Confessional and My Chemical Romance. while my friends were ranting about pharma. i was just on auto-pilot-talking-mode, and at the back of my mind, my superego was saying, "dapat nagpapharma ka na sana ngayon. kaw kasi eh" -- at sabi ko sa utak ko, "taenamo super-ego manahimik ka"
and... upon going home. while the jeepney was banging his sound system playing jologs songs on his loud loud stereo, while i was thinking on what my superego told me... a text message came in.
it was the exact message, may post script lang na dinagdag. it was from Pia Galicia.
every moment spent on looking back, keeps us from moving forward.
she just sent it back to me. and i needed it. and it hit me.
and i went home smiling.
pakyu, superego!
God is so Cool.
every moment spent on looking back, keeps us from moving forward.
i didn't absorb that quote that much before i sent it. basta ko lang sinend. unli eh. then, 12 hours after, i went on with my day. I woke up 8AM. and my classes start by...8AM. 2 hours , one tricycle, one FX ride later, i was having a 5 item quiz about microbes.
matching type! it'd be better kung Chinese Characters nalang yung nasa left side, at Latin letters sa right side. kasi parang ganun lang din yung test. nag-random diffusion-lukso-ng-dugo-with-isang-HailMary ako habang nagtetest, pero, nasa "Blessed are you amongst women" part palang ako nang sabi nilang "PASS YOU PAPERS" Jesus Christ. Are you forsaking me...again?
and then Physio take 2. It sucked. It brought back memories. and it reminded me on how i hated that subject last year. (just like any other subject, actually.) During that 4-Hour Season Premiere of the Physio Department, i was just silent. (well, by silent, i mean, not as jolly as the usual me. but i still talked naman. imma die if i didnt for 4 hours <yes, i talk while sleeping>.) And Doc Tim told me that im setting a bad example by coming in late for his lecture. (Sorry naman po, Doc)
At around 6PM, my friends who just had a Pharma Quiz texted me, iinom daw. Me, Moogie, Pia, Dhanna, Rej and Al had a hindi-naman-basagang-inuman sa The Pit.
Maybe Pia noticed (this is not Pae, my sister, but my classmate which i also consider a sister) noticed that i was pretty sad, hiding behind my stupid jokes and smirks. So Emo. Sooo Dashboard Confessional and My Chemical Romance. while my friends were ranting about pharma. i was just on auto-pilot-talking-mode, and at the back of my mind, my superego was saying, "dapat nagpapharma ka na sana ngayon. kaw kasi eh" -- at sabi ko sa utak ko, "taenamo super-ego manahimik ka"
and... upon going home. while the jeepney was banging his sound system playing jologs songs on his loud loud stereo, while i was thinking on what my superego told me... a text message came in.
it was the exact message, may post script lang na dinagdag. it was from Pia Galicia.
every moment spent on looking back, keeps us from moving forward.
she just sent it back to me. and i needed it. and it hit me.
and i went home smiling.
pakyu, superego!
God is so Cool.
Sunday 15 June 2008
SJ ALUMNUS IS A UP CENTENNIAL AWARDEE
SJ ALUMNUS IS A UP CENTENNIAL AWARDEE
Congratulations to brod Justice Magdangal de Leon, UP Centennial Awardee for Championing Justice in the Judiciary. Mabuhay ka brod!
(On a side note, Justice de Leon also composed the UP Law Hymn hehehe. He also composed the IBP March, OSG March, Philippine Army March, Philippine Coast Guard Hymn, Rotary Hymn, PLEB March, etc.)
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(On a side note, Justice de Leon also composed the UP Law Hymn hehehe. He also composed the IBP March, OSG March, Philippine Army March, Philippine Coast Guard Hymn, Rotary Hymn, PLEB March, etc.)
Saturday 14 June 2008
Are you smarter than a fifth grader?
Grabbed this one from Aaron:
i was wrong for about 8 times. haha
don't worry about the attachment. It has no virus or spoof or any crazy idea that comes up in your mind O_O
The number of legs is the password to unlock the Excel sheet.
i was wrong for about 8 times. haha
don't worry about the attachment. It has no virus or spoof or any crazy idea that comes up in your mind O_O
You need to come up with the correct number to open the attachment. (SEE BELOW)
Good luck with this and have fun! This is a 5th grade math problem. If you can't stand word math problems, just delete now.
If you can open the spreadsheet, you'll see it's a very small list of people who have gotten the correct number. This is not a trick question. This is a real math problem so don't say that a bus has no legs.
- There are 7 girls in a bus.
- Each girl has 7 backpacks.
- In each backpack, there are 7 big cats.
- For every big cat there are 7 little cats.
- Each girl has 7 backpacks.
- In each backpack, there are 7 big cats.
- For every big cat there are 7 little cats.
Question:
How many legs are there in the bus?
The number of legs is the password to unlock the Excel sheet.
If you open it, add your name and send it on to see who else can unlock it. (See attached file: 1-100000 legs..xls)
Hint: No bus driver.
Attachment: 1-100000 legs..xls
Hello, Old Friend
"Did you miss me?" she said
"I dunno. Well, did you?" he said
"I guess so. Its been almost 2 months. And you didnt even bother to visit me"
"Why the hell would I visit you?"
"i thought we had something." she replied, "though we went off on a bad note,"
"Well, I was starting to have feelings for you. I stayed up so many nights for you. And sacrificed quite a lot of gimmicks. a lot of times when i shouldve slept, or went out with another. but still, i chose you. and then, what did i get in return?"
"So you're blaming me now?" she asked
He was silent.
"I know, and I understand,. i know i am someone hard to conquer. A lot of people did the same sacrifice as you did for me. Some of them did even more. I may be harsh on guys like you, but im doing it for a reason. I'm sorry on what happened last april 10..."
He was avoiding her eyes and just sat beside her. "I'm sorry too. I had a lot going on that time"
"i know"
"but, yeah, it's my fault. I didnt do what i was supposed to do. I have a lot of shortcomings to you, you know. i was just too overwhelmed with your presence. you're too, great, and hard to handle. too unstable. one second where i dont look at you for a while, and then, you're too far away that i cant follow you."
"but a lot of others did."
"i am not them"
then they were silent
she was looking at her left chest pocket. the pocket where a nameplate used to hang proud and shining. and he noticed that she was looking and he shyly said, "i know. im not worthy"
"it's just a name plate" she said
"ill get another one. a gold one this time." he sighed. "so im back. what now?"
"im glad you're back"
"me too. im glad im back. well ok -- i missed you, you know that? the feeling sucks when im so anxious to meet you tomorrow for a big test, or a practicals, or a marathon lecture, or a marathon exam. i know the feeling sucks, but i missed that. i missed the drive to wake up the whole night. i missed the rush. i missed the feeling of passing, and drinking right after. i missed that. i missed you."
"i missed you too. i prepared a harder hell for you this year, but it seems like things have changed. maybe next year. and you better prepare for that. in the mean time, fix yourself first."
"be kind to my friends. i'll be needing their samplexes. and notes."
"you know me. im never kind."
"i know. haha. but youre worth it, i hope"
she just smiled. then said, "just do better this time, ok?"
"duh. of course. of course. i learned the hard way. the long way. and i dont want that freakin lesson again"
and then he went home. having that weird feeling of maybe accepting his fate, and hoping that he'll do better this time around. Last year was quite a ride for him. This time, it's a whole new set of people, new last number on the year to graduate, a new level of studying, but still that same dream, same drive, and same old love he felt when he first saw her face. he was determined to conquer her. and the bragging rights that comes right after.
it was karl and med talking
(another schizo entry)
"I dunno. Well, did you?" he said
"I guess so. Its been almost 2 months. And you didnt even bother to visit me"
"Why the hell would I visit you?"
"i thought we had something." she replied, "though we went off on a bad note,"
"Well, I was starting to have feelings for you. I stayed up so many nights for you. And sacrificed quite a lot of gimmicks. a lot of times when i shouldve slept, or went out with another. but still, i chose you. and then, what did i get in return?"
"So you're blaming me now?" she asked
He was silent.
"I know, and I understand,. i know i am someone hard to conquer. A lot of people did the same sacrifice as you did for me. Some of them did even more. I may be harsh on guys like you, but im doing it for a reason. I'm sorry on what happened last april 10..."
He was avoiding her eyes and just sat beside her. "I'm sorry too. I had a lot going on that time"
"i know"
"but, yeah, it's my fault. I didnt do what i was supposed to do. I have a lot of shortcomings to you, you know. i was just too overwhelmed with your presence. you're too, great, and hard to handle. too unstable. one second where i dont look at you for a while, and then, you're too far away that i cant follow you."
"but a lot of others did."
"i am not them"
then they were silent
she was looking at her left chest pocket. the pocket where a nameplate used to hang proud and shining. and he noticed that she was looking and he shyly said, "i know. im not worthy"
"it's just a name plate" she said
"ill get another one. a gold one this time." he sighed. "so im back. what now?"
"im glad you're back"
"me too. im glad im back. well ok -- i missed you, you know that? the feeling sucks when im so anxious to meet you tomorrow for a big test, or a practicals, or a marathon lecture, or a marathon exam. i know the feeling sucks, but i missed that. i missed the drive to wake up the whole night. i missed the rush. i missed the feeling of passing, and drinking right after. i missed that. i missed you."
"i missed you too. i prepared a harder hell for you this year, but it seems like things have changed. maybe next year. and you better prepare for that. in the mean time, fix yourself first."
"be kind to my friends. i'll be needing their samplexes. and notes."
"you know me. im never kind."
"i know. haha. but youre worth it, i hope"
she just smiled. then said, "just do better this time, ok?"
"duh. of course. of course. i learned the hard way. the long way. and i dont want that freakin lesson again"
and then he went home. having that weird feeling of maybe accepting his fate, and hoping that he'll do better this time around. Last year was quite a ride for him. This time, it's a whole new set of people, new last number on the year to graduate, a new level of studying, but still that same dream, same drive, and same old love he felt when he first saw her face. he was determined to conquer her. and the bragging rights that comes right after.
it was karl and med talking
(another schizo entry)
Friday 13 June 2008
where were you when we were getting high?
life was so f*cking easy during highschool.
i mean, oh god. i even looove exam weeks because i have more time to play PS, and sometimes i'm not required to take the tests because i'm too cool for it. (pagbigyan, pagbigyan ang kayabangan!) (im not cool enough to be exempted sa Med, Remediable pa nga eh)... i know a lot of people can relate to this. because life was so easy.
all i ever worried about highschool were:
1. Hunter X Hunter and Slam Dunk (4.30 yun, pero 4 PM yugn uwian namin, so pag bell, uwi agaaaaad!)
2. lovelife (--same old, same old--)
3. my friend's love life (damn JC. "tol, break na kami" --after 10 mins -- "kami na ulit")
4. Basketball
5. Tagis-awit at Slam N Jam
6. others (Gervic Raids, Beggars sa labas,)
(this is not the beggar. this is gervic)
natatawa nalang ako sa mga High School students na umuuwi ng sobrang late dahil daw "gumawa sila ng project." natatawa nalang ako sa mga taong, "hindi natutulog" kasi daw, "tambak sila ng exams and projects" kasi daw "hindi na naaawa mga teachers nila sa kanila"
anak ng baka naman. anong mahirap sa SOHCAHTOA? sa Pagbasa ng Harry Potter at Gumawa ng reaction paper dito? ang gumawa ng isang mini-simbahan na gawa sa basura? ng isang scrapbook kung san mo kinompile yung mga exams mo?
i'm so glad i enjoyed my Higschool. Remember the old saying that your HighSchool friends are the ones whom you'll be with the rest of your life? Nah. haha. it's a choice actually. but i know my HS friendships will last till all of us get old.
when i was in 4th year, i was lying on the stage on the quadrangle, with my friends beside me, all of us singing, and one playing the guitar. and i was just looking at the blue sky, and the dangling banderitas of the Entrepreneurship Week. i wished it would last forever.
buti nalang it didnt. because if it did last forever, then i wouldnt where i am right now? duh. ill be just forever be contented on that lax pressure-free life. i loved that life. but, of course, there's always a room for me to grow up.
yeah, life was so easy during high school. some people would want to stay there for good. but, of course, at some point, we had to leave. not because we wanted to, but because we have to. and now, life is a lot more complicated than our previous High School dilemmas before, but in a way, that made us see the beauty of the world beyond those metal gates.
life was so easy during highschool. well at least for me, and for Reverence and Wisdom peeps and Madla, and Havoc, Simpleng Mamamayans (god, san ba natin nakuha yang mga pangalang yan?!) life was simple. life was easy,
sometimes, we'd really wish we're back on that happy place. where the skies were blue, and the sun not hot enough for global warming to prick you, and the thing that gets you awake all night is the basketball championships tomorrow. but then, we had our shot. and it was great. and id like to to remain as raw and as pure and as cool and as animalistic and as happy those memories are. theyre nice to think about, and laugh about. but, of course, life goes on. and it's been 5 years since then. may engineers na, may RN na, may mga may anak na, may nag abroad, may pumayat, may tumaba -- nakakatuwa lang isipin na at some point in our time we sat on one classroom together, laughed together, "studied" together, lived together.
while so many other teenagers during that time are involved in excessive drinking, drugs, violence, gang wars, and unsafe sex. we were far away, on the other side, on our world, not saying that we're perfect, not saying that we're "pure" but, we were just there... having fun.. clean fun.
where were you when we were getting high? let me rephase that.
where were we when they were getting high?
we were at Ludwig's house. at Diego's. at the HS gym. at room 204. at the quadrangle... happy. in our own version of hapiness.
is it just weird that is just suddenly missed my Higschool days?
(i didnt expect this blog will end on a serious note, really)
i mean, oh god. i even looove exam weeks because i have more time to play PS, and sometimes i'm not required to take the tests because i'm too cool for it. (pagbigyan, pagbigyan ang kayabangan!) (im not cool enough to be exempted sa Med, Remediable pa nga eh)... i know a lot of people can relate to this. because life was so easy.
all i ever worried about highschool were:
1. Hunter X Hunter and Slam Dunk (4.30 yun, pero 4 PM yugn uwian namin, so pag bell, uwi agaaaaad!)
2. lovelife (--same old, same old--)
3. my friend's love life (damn JC. "tol, break na kami" --after 10 mins -- "kami na ulit")
4. Basketball
5. Tagis-awit at Slam N Jam
6. others (Gervic Raids, Beggars sa labas,)
(this is not the beggar. this is gervic)natatawa nalang ako sa mga High School students na umuuwi ng sobrang late dahil daw "gumawa sila ng project." natatawa nalang ako sa mga taong, "hindi natutulog" kasi daw, "tambak sila ng exams and projects" kasi daw "hindi na naaawa mga teachers nila sa kanila"
anak ng baka naman. anong mahirap sa SOHCAHTOA? sa Pagbasa ng Harry Potter at Gumawa ng reaction paper dito? ang gumawa ng isang mini-simbahan na gawa sa basura? ng isang scrapbook kung san mo kinompile yung mga exams mo?
i'm so glad i enjoyed my Higschool. Remember the old saying that your HighSchool friends are the ones whom you'll be with the rest of your life? Nah. haha. it's a choice actually. but i know my HS friendships will last till all of us get old.
when i was in 4th year, i was lying on the stage on the quadrangle, with my friends beside me, all of us singing, and one playing the guitar. and i was just looking at the blue sky, and the dangling banderitas of the Entrepreneurship Week. i wished it would last forever.
buti nalang it didnt. because if it did last forever, then i wouldnt where i am right now? duh. ill be just forever be contented on that lax pressure-free life. i loved that life. but, of course, there's always a room for me to grow up.
yeah, life was so easy during high school. some people would want to stay there for good. but, of course, at some point, we had to leave. not because we wanted to, but because we have to. and now, life is a lot more complicated than our previous High School dilemmas before, but in a way, that made us see the beauty of the world beyond those metal gates.
life was so easy during highschool. well at least for me, and for Reverence and Wisdom peeps and Madla, and Havoc, Simpleng Mamamayans (god, san ba natin nakuha yang mga pangalang yan?!) life was simple. life was easy,
sometimes, we'd really wish we're back on that happy place. where the skies were blue, and the sun not hot enough for global warming to prick you, and the thing that gets you awake all night is the basketball championships tomorrow. but then, we had our shot. and it was great. and id like to to remain as raw and as pure and as cool and as animalistic and as happy those memories are. theyre nice to think about, and laugh about. but, of course, life goes on. and it's been 5 years since then. may engineers na, may RN na, may mga may anak na, may nag abroad, may pumayat, may tumaba -- nakakatuwa lang isipin na at some point in our time we sat on one classroom together, laughed together, "studied" together, lived together.
while so many other teenagers during that time are involved in excessive drinking, drugs, violence, gang wars, and unsafe sex. we were far away, on the other side, on our world, not saying that we're perfect, not saying that we're "pure" but, we were just there... having fun.. clean fun.
where were you when we were getting high? let me rephase that.
where were we when they were getting high?
we were at Ludwig's house. at Diego's. at the HS gym. at room 204. at the quadrangle... happy. in our own version of hapiness.
is it just weird that is just suddenly missed my Higschool days?
(i didnt expect this blog will end on a serious note, really)
Wednesday 11 June 2008
can't sleep - dahil diyan, napatanong ako
(i wrote this last night)
god i cant sleep. my mind thinks too much. yari nanaman ako kay daddy kung bababa siya at madadatnan akong gising. :s
bakit nga ba pag nag-aaral andali mong antukin? tapos ngayong walang ginagawa naman, hindi ako inaantok?
bakit ba pag pasukan, andami mong iniisip na gagawin mo pag bakasyon. pero pag bakasyon, bored na bored ka naman dahil wala kang magawa?
bakit ba gusto mong magkaGirlet pero kung nasaktan ka, sabihin mo, sana wala nalang?
bakit ba sobrang excited mag med ang mga first years, tapos pagdating nila ng third year, natatawa nalang sila sa pinasukan nila? o napapailing?
bakit ang mahirap, gustong yumaman? pero ang mayaman, gusto pa ring yumaman? (sabagay, may narinig ka bang mayaman na nagsabing, "gusto kong humirap")
bakit pag first week ng Med, nagkakahiyaan ang mga taong sumagot ng SGD. tapos nung patapos na ang taon, pag may SGD, paunahan nang sumagot para di na matawag sa mga susunod na mas mahirap na tanong.
kapag start ng taon, sasabihin mo, "mag-aaral nakong mabuti", pagkatapos ng tao naman, "sana nag-aral ako ng mabuti"
pag nagaaral, sabi mo, "bukas nalang to, magigising ako ng maaga"... kinabukasan naman sinabi mo, "sana inaral ko nalang to kagabi"
gusto ko nang matulog. it's 2.30 and i have to wake up by 5.30. demn. mambubully ako ng first years. joke. mamahalin ko sila. joke. wala akong pakelam. ang pakelam ko lang ay ang free lunch bukas.
free lunch kuno, e tuition natin yun. 90,000 per sem per student x 500 students per batch x 4 years - sabihin na nating 350 students nabawasan = 148.5 Million Pesos Per Sem
god i cant sleep. my mind thinks too much. yari nanaman ako kay daddy kung bababa siya at madadatnan akong gising. :s
bakit nga ba pag nag-aaral andali mong antukin? tapos ngayong walang ginagawa naman, hindi ako inaantok?
bakit ba pag pasukan, andami mong iniisip na gagawin mo pag bakasyon. pero pag bakasyon, bored na bored ka naman dahil wala kang magawa?
bakit ba gusto mong magkaGirlet pero kung nasaktan ka, sabihin mo, sana wala nalang?
bakit ba sobrang excited mag med ang mga first years, tapos pagdating nila ng third year, natatawa nalang sila sa pinasukan nila? o napapailing?
bakit ang mahirap, gustong yumaman? pero ang mayaman, gusto pa ring yumaman? (sabagay, may narinig ka bang mayaman na nagsabing, "gusto kong humirap")
bakit pag first week ng Med, nagkakahiyaan ang mga taong sumagot ng SGD. tapos nung patapos na ang taon, pag may SGD, paunahan nang sumagot para di na matawag sa mga susunod na mas mahirap na tanong.
kapag start ng taon, sasabihin mo, "mag-aaral nakong mabuti", pagkatapos ng tao naman, "sana nag-aral ako ng mabuti"
pag nagaaral, sabi mo, "bukas nalang to, magigising ako ng maaga"... kinabukasan naman sinabi mo, "sana inaral ko nalang to kagabi"
gusto ko nang matulog. it's 2.30 and i have to wake up by 5.30. demn. mambubully ako ng first years. joke. mamahalin ko sila. joke. wala akong pakelam. ang pakelam ko lang ay ang free lunch bukas.
free lunch kuno, e tuition natin yun. 90,000 per sem per student x 500 students per batch x 4 years - sabihin na nating 350 students nabawasan = 148.5 Million Pesos Per Sem
Tuesday 10 June 2008
fixing the circadian rhythm
i woke up at 7am today to bring my sister to school for her first day in college. and i remembered: i just hate waking up. i just hate hate hate waking up early. i slept at around 3AM the night before (and that's considerably early) after i went to Pae's school, i planned to sleep muna till 10AM to wake up at 12 to attend the 1PM meeting, but i can't sleep. after i went to school, from the meeting i slept for 5 hours. and now i just woke up. the problem with that is im gonna have a hard time going back to sleep later and wake up by 5.30AM because im needed at the Med Audi by 7. cmon.
last (stupid) summer, i always sleep at 7AM and wake up at aroung 11AM to eat, then sleep again to wake up by 5PM.... that's the typical boring day that's 80% of my summer. my circadian rythm is really messed up. now, school is back to fix it - or break it again. deym.
oh yeah. school is definitely back.
and i love it.
last (stupid) summer, i always sleep at 7AM and wake up at aroung 11AM to eat, then sleep again to wake up by 5PM.... that's the typical boring day that's 80% of my summer. my circadian rythm is really messed up. now, school is back to fix it - or break it again. deym.
oh yeah. school is definitely back.
and i love it.
Tuesday 3 June 2008
the shape of things to come
This sem i am going to face the fact that almost all of my Bio and Med friends in UST Med will be having a totally different world next year. kamusta naman ang Pharma and others diba? and im sure my sched and theirs wouldnt match. halos di ko na masasabayan maglunch sila Jhun and Moogie and Dhanna and Harry... and if ever man makakasabay pa ako, iba na ang mapaguusapan nila: 2nd year topics syempre. im sure every reunion iba na ang mapaguusapan ng mga tao. Ibang Faci, ibang Samplex, ibang profs. theirs will always one notch higher than me. forgive me for ranting, friends. pero ganyan talaga ang mangyayari diba? and how much more next next year? youll all be wearing Vnecks while im stuck taking Pharma and the rest.
wala na tayong kaparehong subject nun.
then you'll be Clerks, then it'll be my turn wearing the V-neck. You'll be interns, then ill be the Clerk. babatukan ko kayo pag pinahirapan niyo ako. Then you'll be taking the boards, then residency. bla bla bla. and me and the other unfortunate people will be a year behind. it's sad. but i know my friends wouldnt look at me as someone low. theyre my friends. i wouldnt call them one if i know theyd to it.
i have told myself this summer, that when those moments come, i know it's gonna hurt. the fireworks of 2011, the MD by 2012... i mean, admit it. i couldve been there. i shouldve studied hard. and harder. and hardest. but no. i didnt. and i failed. dont i just love to rub that on my face? she's right. im a masochist. pain makes me feel alive.... next year, it's gonna hurt. and next next year. and next next next year. if only i could sneak in the 2011 Baccalaureatte Mass, I will. but no, it'd just hurt me at the end of the day. it's gonna be painful.
but then again. i have to suck it all up. i failed. fine. that's life. and im gonna have another advantage, i'll get to borrow your samplexes, your Silverman notes, your tips, and you're not gonna give me a hard time while i'm a clerk, right? (i hope) And, we are gonna have more connections. more doctors who will refer us more patients. coming from my friends now, and my soon to be friends later.
they say, for a man, the hardest things to accept for them, is failure. i so F**ckin agree. but im trying to set my perspective right now that in life, there are no Failures. there are no mistakes. theyre only lessons. it's just the label of the school for that lesson. that big 5.0 in the transcript. like what Jnel said, "this is a learning process." - and so, i hope i can get the best lesson i can extract from this shit.
summer is over. hello first year again. hello Karl the Physio repeater. holy jesus christ. it sounds horrible, man. but i have no choice but to say, "it's ok. everything's gonna be fine" because it will be. i know it will. God has a plan. he better have one, or else.
Julie Jane Dy once said, "In the end, we're all gonna be doctors" (and backed up by Joena.) She has no idea how much that simple reply meant to me. i needed that push. i needed that flicker of hope. that in the end, we all are gonna have the same MD on our coats.
karl the repeater. waaa :( . but soon it's gonna be karl the doctor. then karl the surgeon, then karl the orthopedic surgeon. then karl the dad. karl the millionaire. and someday, i'm gonna write about my life. yeah, karl the author. maybe i'll put this blog on that future work. and someday, i'll make these writings into a book. hoping that it would one day inspire a little karl, or little jane, or little jomar (eew), or little jhun (isnt he little enough?), or little greg-geli, or little moogie, or little raquel to be the next great doctor this world will see.
ill write about my 'failure', my Med Journey, my calling, and my quest to get the MD, and the other great titles after that. that'll be my story. that'll be my story. your story. ours.
+BIL
wala na tayong kaparehong subject nun.
then you'll be Clerks, then it'll be my turn wearing the V-neck. You'll be interns, then ill be the Clerk. babatukan ko kayo pag pinahirapan niyo ako. Then you'll be taking the boards, then residency. bla bla bla. and me and the other unfortunate people will be a year behind. it's sad. but i know my friends wouldnt look at me as someone low. theyre my friends. i wouldnt call them one if i know theyd to it.
i have told myself this summer, that when those moments come, i know it's gonna hurt. the fireworks of 2011, the MD by 2012... i mean, admit it. i couldve been there. i shouldve studied hard. and harder. and hardest. but no. i didnt. and i failed. dont i just love to rub that on my face? she's right. im a masochist. pain makes me feel alive.... next year, it's gonna hurt. and next next year. and next next next year. if only i could sneak in the 2011 Baccalaureatte Mass, I will. but no, it'd just hurt me at the end of the day. it's gonna be painful.
but then again. i have to suck it all up. i failed. fine. that's life. and im gonna have another advantage, i'll get to borrow your samplexes, your Silverman notes, your tips, and you're not gonna give me a hard time while i'm a clerk, right? (i hope) And, we are gonna have more connections. more doctors who will refer us more patients. coming from my friends now, and my soon to be friends later.
they say, for a man, the hardest things to accept for them, is failure. i so F**ckin agree. but im trying to set my perspective right now that in life, there are no Failures. there are no mistakes. theyre only lessons. it's just the label of the school for that lesson. that big 5.0 in the transcript. like what Jnel said, "this is a learning process." - and so, i hope i can get the best lesson i can extract from this shit.
summer is over. hello first year again. hello Karl the Physio repeater. holy jesus christ. it sounds horrible, man. but i have no choice but to say, "it's ok. everything's gonna be fine" because it will be. i know it will. God has a plan. he better have one, or else.
Julie Jane Dy once said, "In the end, we're all gonna be doctors" (and backed up by Joena.) She has no idea how much that simple reply meant to me. i needed that push. i needed that flicker of hope. that in the end, we all are gonna have the same MD on our coats.
karl the repeater. waaa :( . but soon it's gonna be karl the doctor. then karl the surgeon, then karl the orthopedic surgeon. then karl the dad. karl the millionaire. and someday, i'm gonna write about my life. yeah, karl the author. maybe i'll put this blog on that future work. and someday, i'll make these writings into a book. hoping that it would one day inspire a little karl, or little jane, or little jomar (eew), or little jhun (isnt he little enough?), or little greg-geli, or little moogie, or little raquel to be the next great doctor this world will see.
ill write about my 'failure', my Med Journey, my calling, and my quest to get the MD, and the other great titles after that. that'll be my story. that'll be my story. your story. ours.
+BIL
Sunday 1 June 2008
being drunk
i cant sleep. because i slept the whole day ou of boredom. now i'm still bored, but i can't sleep. so... i am just.. bored.
i had several attempts of writing a blog while im drunk. a lot of them were quite good. but almost every sentence has a bad word on it. di ko mapigilian sarili kong magmura pag lasing eh. the first part of the blog will be good, then soon, it will be bitter, then lalayo na sa original topic. then di ko nalang ipopost...
they say when a person is drunk, he becomes very very honest. well, i don't know if that one's true because i still can lie while drunk. they say when a person in drunk, he has no inhibitions, he doesnt filter his words, and just say what's in his mind. well, true for me, i guess.
a lot of people had regrets of doing something while theyre drunk. while driving. said something bad to someone. squealed a secret. got laid and made a baby. which made me think, why do people drink anyway?
well, one because they want to be happy. it's hell a lot easier to laugh when you're drunk, but it's easier to cry, too. to drink away their blues? for one, alcohol has never solved any of my problems. hindi naman magic na iinom ako ng 2 case ng Red Horse tapos, papasa na ako sa Physio diba? and honestly, beer doesnt taste good. it's bitter and smells like... uhmm,, beer? but i love it specially when it's cold.
so which is it? on what part of alcohol that makes it so loved by the world? or maybe the universe? do aliens drink too? (im talking shit again), is it the extra fermented water? the alcohol phenol aromatic chorva whatever's on that beer? what's in there?
hmm. i dont care. inom nalang. :) tagay.
i had several attempts of writing a blog while im drunk. a lot of them were quite good. but almost every sentence has a bad word on it. di ko mapigilian sarili kong magmura pag lasing eh. the first part of the blog will be good, then soon, it will be bitter, then lalayo na sa original topic. then di ko nalang ipopost...
they say when a person is drunk, he becomes very very honest. well, i don't know if that one's true because i still can lie while drunk. they say when a person in drunk, he has no inhibitions, he doesnt filter his words, and just say what's in his mind. well, true for me, i guess.
a lot of people had regrets of doing something while theyre drunk. while driving. said something bad to someone. squealed a secret. got laid and made a baby. which made me think, why do people drink anyway?
well, one because they want to be happy. it's hell a lot easier to laugh when you're drunk, but it's easier to cry, too. to drink away their blues? for one, alcohol has never solved any of my problems. hindi naman magic na iinom ako ng 2 case ng Red Horse tapos, papasa na ako sa Physio diba? and honestly, beer doesnt taste good. it's bitter and smells like... uhmm,, beer? but i love it specially when it's cold.
so which is it? on what part of alcohol that makes it so loved by the world? or maybe the universe? do aliens drink too? (im talking shit again), is it the extra fermented water? the alcohol phenol aromatic chorva whatever's on that beer? what's in there?
hmm. i dont care. inom nalang. :) tagay.
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