im not a bit sentimental about this. i don't know.
but i am at least thankful that the vatican declared st cosmos and damien's feat during these week, that gives me an ample amount of time to celebrate.i love it. your birthday on the med week when the profs are not allowed to give exams. but still, like what i've said, im not that enthusiastic about this day. i dont know,. maybe i really am getting old.
lately i've been trying to concoct a good blog but they all failed to make it past the screen of first page. The last thing I want to happen in exchange for all these med toxicity is to lose my edge for writing. writing has been the remaining art among the arts and sciences in med. And this should nor remain stagnant because this mind will never stop exploring and wondering. Nakakalason ang panis na laway. Partly, I'm blaming facebook to this... it distracts me a lot. Instead of doing something productive or making a good blog, most of the time i'd choose Mafia Wars and Restaurant Rush over them. It's not healthy, but it's fun. But it's still not healthy. But it's fun. :)
Anyways, back to the blog. Probably I can say that this year, I've redeemed myself.
(okay, the emo hormones are kicking in)
this year, I can say that Failing is not considered a deafeat. Defeat is when you've given up. We irregs are not proud that we're irregs. But we're proud that we're still here, fighting for what we believe is worth fighting for. It's the heart that really matters in the end.
this year, I never EVER thought in my wildest dreams that someone will invite me to play a big role in DWTL. It still amazes me to this day that it happened. For those who know my story would probably be smiling now. God's timing, is indeedn, never too early, or too late. It comes in the right time, and pace. Just like when I lied down in the beach one night and on that moment, out came a falling star. The moments that you can never deny, that that star has fallen for you.
this year, I have definitely moved on. My definitions of love and relationships have been reconstructed. My standards have been reformed. Maybe we'll never understand when they ruin one's heart. After all, it's the heart. Imagine all the drugs that scientists make just to calm it down? Because when it beats too much, or too little, It's fatal.
This heart? It's for someone. I don't know who she is, but I guarantee you she's gonna be great. She will embrace me like how the beach embraces me. And she will be loved more than how i love my Mafia Wars and Restaurant City. She will be loved more than how I love Pharma and Patho combined.
This year, I realized this heart was never dead, Nor it ceased to beat. It was just that I was in denial. Denied of my own capability to love. That i just stopped putting my hand on my fifth left intercostal space, I just forgot it was there.
It has always been there.
This year, I still believe that my Family is still the best set of family you could ever have. A Dad who would not just inspire you, but challenge you to do more, and be more. A mum who's there to cheer me up, make fun on how I look, and laught about anything. and nothing Brothers and Sisters who would always share secrets with me. Who would take a bullet for me as I would take for them. Who would be proud of me wherever they go.
This year, I've made a lot of new friends. Beach Hous Guests. DWTL Peeps. New Brods. New Subsecs. each of them very unique in their own way. And i'm glad I'm accepted readily in their groups (or at least that's what i think? I hope i'm right)
This year, I have helped my parents get customers for the beach house. And that gave enough money for the 4 of us for this semester. For the first time in my life, the 4 of us are in full payment for this semester. I had the best summer job: putting guests on the beach house, and assuring them that they'd have a great time.
This year, the Frat is very much alive. And the bonds we have is something that i know i'd treasure for my whole lifetime.
I have so many things I should thank for. And tonight, I have nothing else to feel, but pure gratitude. For every single thing that happened to me, and the best that is in store for me. I have asked questions. I've been given answers. Life has given be the best surprises. the best of friends, the best family, the best people, the best facilitators, the best teachers.
I have redeemed myself so much this year, that I would like to call this a Rennaisance. (Hooray. I can spell it.) A birth of new ideas, of new great habits. A birth to a better life. An opening to new worlds. A paradigm change.
only at your very worst do you realize that life gets the better of you, only to extract the best of you.
twenty three years...
and we've only just begun.
(after re-reading this: it's funny i said "im not a bit sentimental about this." at the start, yet the whole blog was so sentimental. haha)
