i read my old, old journals 4 years ago... haha. damn they were soo good. hahaha.
so, imma go back to my old Tabulas site (since my multiply is viewed by sooo many of my Relatives, ahmm? hehe.)
im gonna transfer my blogs to my old blog, Tabulas.
i wanna be back to anonymous blogging again. me blogging. and perfect stangers reading it, and appreciating it. and those strangers become my friends... and "friends" hahaha .. so, well, goodbye Multiply Blog. I'll still post some of my fave blogs here but not as often as before. owel. :)
Friday 28 December 2007
Thursday 27 December 2007
im saying 'i love you again,' are you listening?
im sayin i love you again, are you listening?
the last song syndrome. for the past 2 days.
i cant sleep. the sun is starting to shine, or it's just my illusion of the dimly lit garage on my left lateral peripheral side.
just 5 minutes ago i've heard soft whispers beside my room. scary. there ARE ghosts in this house, everybody says. but then when i checked, i realized... Shen and his friends are still awake. Sneaked in a bottle of GSM Blue and Island Lime. That explains the eerie sounds. No Ghosts. That's Good.
"im saying i love you again" - the freakin song's still playing on my head...
speaking of... looking back to my "past" ahhmm life so far (you know what i mean, i guess).. well, one is a Flight Attendant and just gave birth, one is working as a Call Center Agent (which she said to me once that she'll never be doing that- ever), one just passed the Nursing Board Exams, one just passed the Med Tech exams, and the rest I haven't heard of. and, Oh, i remember, one had an abortion 4 years ago. demn. haha.
in the words of Coelho, (not the exact ones perhaps), "I tried to find the common denominator among all the girl's i've been with. And i realize that there is only one thing they all have in common: Me." [edit - when i re-read this part, i didnt get the point why put this one. haha.. /edit]
all at a certain point in time, our hands clasped each other, and for some, i sometimes regret that I did. For some I'd love to repeat the story over and over again. And some, were just... there. One by one they tried to teach me something. All of them got a hand on me growing up. All of them put a specific something on me that made me remember them in their own special way. It's like a mark in myself that said, "Mitch was here", "Gail was here", "Genna was here", blablabla.
A collage of cute vandalisms.
Some lessons they taught and the other taught and the other taught were redundant. Simply because I didn't learn.
Some lessons I thought were trivial. Till I realized it'd come handy along the way.
Some were hardcore. Not Sexy-hardcore. But life-hardcore.
Some you have to learn the hard way.
As the old saying goes, "We area all part of everyone we meet" I have parts of them in me. And perhaps I've left a part of me in them. If only they'll get to see me now, maybe they'd be proud. Maybe.
Memories. They're all you got. That's all that's left.
another product of my too-much-thinking-during-school-breaks-syndrome
The LSS is still playing. Perhaps some alcohol could take it away..
"im saying i love you again, are you listening?"
i don't know when the next time will be.
i don't know if i'm sane enough to enter another commitment.
but i'm sure there will be a next time. i gotta be sure.
cause no matter how many girls have carved their own souvenirs on me, there will always be room for more.
there will always be room for improvement.
for growth.
for more memories,
for lessons,
there will always be room for love.
and for us.
whoever that you in me will be.
someday someone's gonna own this Fatty Cardiomegalic Heart again. maybe not now. or maybe not soon. maybe i'll put in a promo, "Heart for Sale, plus Free Fatty Liver", but im not that desperate... yet...
maybe... just maybe, someone's having a same LSS as i am having at this moment, and decided to open up their Multiply account and happen to read this blog.
which is very, very unlikely.
haha
---
the Sun is up. and it's real this time.
time to sleep. again. ;)
the last song syndrome. for the past 2 days.
i cant sleep. the sun is starting to shine, or it's just my illusion of the dimly lit garage on my left lateral peripheral side.
just 5 minutes ago i've heard soft whispers beside my room. scary. there ARE ghosts in this house, everybody says. but then when i checked, i realized... Shen and his friends are still awake. Sneaked in a bottle of GSM Blue and Island Lime. That explains the eerie sounds. No Ghosts. That's Good.
"im saying i love you again" - the freakin song's still playing on my head...
speaking of... looking back to my "past" ahhmm life so far (you know what i mean, i guess).. well, one is a Flight Attendant and just gave birth, one is working as a Call Center Agent (which she said to me once that she'll never be doing that- ever), one just passed the Nursing Board Exams, one just passed the Med Tech exams, and the rest I haven't heard of. and, Oh, i remember, one had an abortion 4 years ago. demn. haha.
in the words of Coelho, (not the exact ones perhaps), "I tried to find the common denominator among all the girl's i've been with. And i realize that there is only one thing they all have in common: Me." [edit - when i re-read this part, i didnt get the point why put this one. haha.. /edit]
all at a certain point in time, our hands clasped each other, and for some, i sometimes regret that I did. For some I'd love to repeat the story over and over again. And some, were just... there. One by one they tried to teach me something. All of them got a hand on me growing up. All of them put a specific something on me that made me remember them in their own special way. It's like a mark in myself that said, "Mitch was here", "Gail was here", "Genna was here", blablabla.
A collage of cute vandalisms.
Some lessons they taught and the other taught and the other taught were redundant. Simply because I didn't learn.
Some lessons I thought were trivial. Till I realized it'd come handy along the way.
Some were hardcore. Not Sexy-hardcore. But life-hardcore.
Some you have to learn the hard way.
As the old saying goes, "We area all part of everyone we meet" I have parts of them in me. And perhaps I've left a part of me in them. If only they'll get to see me now, maybe they'd be proud. Maybe.
Memories. They're all you got. That's all that's left.
another product of my too-much-thinking-during-school-breaks-syndrome
The LSS is still playing. Perhaps some alcohol could take it away..
"im saying i love you again, are you listening?"
i don't know when the next time will be.
i don't know if i'm sane enough to enter another commitment.
but i'm sure there will be a next time. i gotta be sure.
cause no matter how many girls have carved their own souvenirs on me, there will always be room for more.
there will always be room for improvement.
for growth.
for more memories,
for lessons,
there will always be room for love.
and for us.
whoever that you in me will be.
someday someone's gonna own this Fatty Cardiomegalic Heart again. maybe not now. or maybe not soon. maybe i'll put in a promo, "Heart for Sale, plus Free Fatty Liver", but im not that desperate... yet...
maybe... just maybe, someone's having a same LSS as i am having at this moment, and decided to open up their Multiply account and happen to read this blog.
which is very, very unlikely.
haha
---
the Sun is up. and it's real this time.
time to sleep. again. ;)
too much thinking
i said i would do a lot when this break comes.
im sleeping 12 hours each day. im like a Polar Bear, waiting for my turn to use the PC, and when my Brothers or Sister bugs me that it's their time to use the PC, i unviolently sit on the sofa, and then.. without noticing it, im asleep again. demn.
so, whenever im not sleeping, and not using the PC, im just... thinking.... and thinking... and thinking too much...
about this life... the family, the subsec,the big-egoed self, and the grades. napanaginipan ko pa nga si Ma'am Co-Huy eh...sobrang kakaisip.
and i'm always not myself when i wake up. lagi akong ganun, ampangit ng feeling. i dont know what's wrong with my hormones na kung umaga, ampangit ng pakiramdam ko. eh yung 12 hours na to ay hindi straight, tig 4 hours ito. so, nafifeel ko yung pangit na feeling na yun three times a day.
i dont know what else to do. i need someone to talk to.
crap. another worthless blog. haha.
im sleeping 12 hours each day. im like a Polar Bear, waiting for my turn to use the PC, and when my Brothers or Sister bugs me that it's their time to use the PC, i unviolently sit on the sofa, and then.. without noticing it, im asleep again. demn.
so, whenever im not sleeping, and not using the PC, im just... thinking.... and thinking... and thinking too much...
about this life... the family, the subsec,the big-egoed self, and the grades. napanaginipan ko pa nga si Ma'am Co-Huy eh...sobrang kakaisip.
and i'm always not myself when i wake up. lagi akong ganun, ampangit ng feeling. i dont know what's wrong with my hormones na kung umaga, ampangit ng pakiramdam ko. eh yung 12 hours na to ay hindi straight, tig 4 hours ito. so, nafifeel ko yung pangit na feeling na yun three times a day.
i dont know what else to do. i need someone to talk to.
crap. another worthless blog. haha.
Wednesday 26 December 2007
high school reunion
Reunion with Semi-Creme / Reverence / Mercy Peeps,
mula gabi hanggang umaga... masaya naming pinag-usapan ang BASKETBALL.
hahaha. that was soooo fun Reminiscing the missed shots, the Championships, the Fights we had with other Sections.. and we realized, WE DIDNT EVEN WIN THE CHAMPIONSHIPS! WAHAHA! But we had the most fun.. especially Me and Marco who tasted the championship finals TWICE consecutively for Reverence and Wisdom.
wow. i missed being a highschool student. I missed being young and not thinking about anything but basketball, your girlfriend, and Playstation. hahaha.
i missed my highschool friends. tambay sa Lourdes Carinderia, Makipag-away sa ibang sections dahil sa mga walang kwentang bagay, umupo sa corridors at paguusapan kung sino sino (si L1 at L2, at L3, and K1-K6 wahahaha), tumambay pa din, maglaro sa basketball kung saan saan at kung kani kaninong mga bahay, umuwi sa bahay at idadahilan mo lang ay "project",
haaay. haaayskul. owel. we'll meet again. :D
mula gabi hanggang umaga... masaya naming pinag-usapan ang BASKETBALL.
hahaha. that was soooo fun Reminiscing the missed shots, the Championships, the Fights we had with other Sections.. and we realized, WE DIDNT EVEN WIN THE CHAMPIONSHIPS! WAHAHA! But we had the most fun.. especially Me and Marco who tasted the championship finals TWICE consecutively for Reverence and Wisdom.
wow. i missed being a highschool student. I missed being young and not thinking about anything but basketball, your girlfriend, and Playstation. hahaha.
i missed my highschool friends. tambay sa Lourdes Carinderia, Makipag-away sa ibang sections dahil sa mga walang kwentang bagay, umupo sa corridors at paguusapan kung sino sino (si L1 at L2, at L3, and K1-K6 wahahaha), tumambay pa din, maglaro sa basketball kung saan saan at kung kani kaninong mga bahay, umuwi sa bahay at idadahilan mo lang ay "project",
haaay. haaayskul. owel. we'll meet again. :D
Wednesday 19 December 2007
everybody's partying and we're all studying
It's Paskuhan night tonight. and I am studying neuro Ana, just finished and Failed another Biochem Exam (kelan ba ako aasenso sa Biochem?), and two tests in Physiology...
It's the season when the air smells like Honey Glazed Ham, where the departments have Xmas Parties, and me getting drunk every night.
Change. One thing I have to deal with this year. and a lot of them did change.
sometimes i find myself desperately catching up, and self pitying because of all the major C R A P that's been happening. I clinged so much to my past lifestyle and what do i get in return? bad grades.
sometimes i wish this would all just disappear. the pressure. the pain. the depression... but nothing worthwhile comes easy.
and because of that, i appreciated parties more.
i appreciated weekends more.
and i appreciated coffee a lot more.
maybe that's the way with life... it never stops. once you get into a plateau of hapiness and contenment that everything is doing fine with your life, life gives you more... life shakes you, so that you give life more of what you're made of.. of what you're really made of. and you'll end up a better person right after.
so right now, I guess the Era of Paskuhan is over for me. Though i did stay and watched the fireworks and got the free food and showed our Newbies how Paskuhan is spent at UST, and then, one Jeepney ride later, here i am... Uploading the USB full of the BRAIN, the Cerebellum, the Cerebrum and all.
Life has to move on.
Everybody's Partying, and We're all Studying Neuroana.
It's the season when the air smells like Honey Glazed Ham, where the departments have Xmas Parties, and me getting drunk every night.
Change. One thing I have to deal with this year. and a lot of them did change.
sometimes i find myself desperately catching up, and self pitying because of all the major C R A P that's been happening. I clinged so much to my past lifestyle and what do i get in return? bad grades.
sometimes i wish this would all just disappear. the pressure. the pain. the depression... but nothing worthwhile comes easy.
and because of that, i appreciated parties more.
i appreciated weekends more.
and i appreciated coffee a lot more.
maybe that's the way with life... it never stops. once you get into a plateau of hapiness and contenment that everything is doing fine with your life, life gives you more... life shakes you, so that you give life more of what you're made of.. of what you're really made of. and you'll end up a better person right after.
so right now, I guess the Era of Paskuhan is over for me. Though i did stay and watched the fireworks and got the free food and showed our Newbies how Paskuhan is spent at UST, and then, one Jeepney ride later, here i am... Uploading the USB full of the BRAIN, the Cerebellum, the Cerebrum and all.
Life has to move on.
Everybody's Partying, and We're all Studying Neuroana.
Saturday 15 December 2007
wish list...
simple wishes for my complicated life.
hindi ako makamundong tao. nasa itsura ko lang na makamundo ako pero hindi. kung tutuusin, angkokorni ng mga wishes ko, pero ito tlga ang mga gusto ko eh. :)
1. Pass the coming two tests this week: Neuroanatomy Practicals and Biochem Departmentals
2. A complete subsec get-together / lunch out / whatever.
3. Meet 4bio1 Peeps again
4. A day not thinking about Med.. even just for one day.
5. Complete Bilateral family on Xmas day [always happens]
6. People to understand me for who i am. (damn, that sounds so fucking gay)
7. Be able to attend the coming Medical Missions.
8. Get a better study habit, push away distractions
9. Give money to the kids beside our haus in Zambales.
10. Get a full 12-hour sleep. and when i wake up, i want a hot coffee, fried rice, bacon and eggs.
11. Watch a movie that will make me feel really really good.
12. Watch the Paskuhan Fireworks... alone. (god, the memories, again)
13. Help my sister relax and enjoy life. God, she's been thinking that Highschool is a lot harder than college. heck.
14. Watch a perfect sunset... alone. (yeah, i enjoy doing things more when im alone)
15. Write more blogs. My outlet, and the only way to keep me sane, i dont want all these things piled up in my mind, there's a need to pour it out.
16. Attend even 3 Simbang Gabi Masses.
17. Add more DWTL songs in my iTunes Library
18. Drink a lot of Beer with a lot of Friends and dont care about Driving Home Drunk. haha
19. A better world.
20. A better country
21. A happier medlife
22. A closer Subsec
23. A better Me.
hindi ako makamundong tao. nasa itsura ko lang na makamundo ako pero hindi. kung tutuusin, angkokorni ng mga wishes ko, pero ito tlga ang mga gusto ko eh. :)
1. Pass the coming two tests this week: Neuroanatomy Practicals and Biochem Departmentals
2. A complete subsec get-together / lunch out / whatever.
3. Meet 4bio1 Peeps again
4. A day not thinking about Med.. even just for one day.
5. Complete Bilateral family on Xmas day [always happens]
6. People to understand me for who i am. (damn, that sounds so fucking gay)
7. Be able to attend the coming Medical Missions.
8. Get a better study habit, push away distractions
9. Give money to the kids beside our haus in Zambales.
10. Get a full 12-hour sleep. and when i wake up, i want a hot coffee, fried rice, bacon and eggs.
11. Watch a movie that will make me feel really really good.
12. Watch the Paskuhan Fireworks... alone. (god, the memories, again)
13. Help my sister relax and enjoy life. God, she's been thinking that Highschool is a lot harder than college. heck.
14. Watch a perfect sunset... alone. (yeah, i enjoy doing things more when im alone)
15. Write more blogs. My outlet, and the only way to keep me sane, i dont want all these things piled up in my mind, there's a need to pour it out.
16. Attend even 3 Simbang Gabi Masses.
17. Add more DWTL songs in my iTunes Library
18. Drink a lot of Beer with a lot of Friends and dont care about Driving Home Drunk. haha
19. A better world.
20. A better country
21. A happier medlife
22. A closer Subsec
23. A better Me.
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