Here lies she

There are 2 photos in my wallet who lived inside for quite some time now. She lived there and used to light up a world and to light up a hope.

I never leave home without my wallet, so wherever I go, I always brought her with me. I always brought hope.

Days went by and receipts kept piling in, and so did movie tickets, and ang-paos and different memories and fillers and cards and toxic duties that the photos were pushed deep inside. Hiding away from daylight, like how hope drifted away from the shoreline: wobbly, back and forth, but in the end... further.

It didn’t matter how slow the tide pulled me out of the shore. What mattered is it did.

Tonight I got a new wallet. One with better compartments, cleaner, sleekier, brand new, so I have dismantled the old wallet’s contents and for the first time after a long time, the photos saw light again. I’ve been too busy drifting that I actually forgot they were there. Still pretty, but now dusty, and miraculously, it didn’t sing back the hope for us. Yes, it did draw a smile, but not the smile I got every time my heart jumped. I smiled because I didn’t need that sunlight that came from her smile anymore. That I still do hope, but not for her. I still hope. Still for the same ocean, just a different river. Still the same heart, just a different drum beat. It did draw a smile. And I know God was smiling, too.

Tonight, my old stuff moves to the new stuff. And the photos get left behind. They’ll be kept in the the cabinet of my old things beside my high school old journals and ex girlfriends and college magazines and broken things and in-between my mistakes and listed along the things-that-made-me, and never in the corner of regrets.

And there lies She.

--------

Love arrives exactly when it’s supposed to. And Love leaves exactly when love must. When Love arrives, say, “Welcome, make yourself comfortable” And when Love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her. Turn off the music. Listen to the quiet whisper. Thank You, for stopping by