Im the guy who never lost his fetish for the Sunset
I live in front of the beach and i always make it a point that no matter how busy i am, at the end of the day, I'd still lie on the sand, bury my feet on them and watch the sunset as if im watching it the first time. Most of the time I'll bring along a camera with me, and even though it's the same sun, same beach, and same sunset over again, i'd still take pictures of it. My mom said i was born while the sun was setting. Maybe that explains the obsession. Maybe whenever I see that ball of fire setting, I am born again.
Last holy week was indeed, holy. Although I didnt attend any religious activity (and im realizing it just now, sorry God), I had my special kinds of prayer. I pray through my connection with the sea and the crisp of that warm zambales air. I close my eyes and feel solace. I feel whole. If I could levitate through joy and peace in my heart, and additional happy thoughts like Peter Pan, I'd probably hover for a long time without needing a pixie from tinkerbell.
Sunsets are god damn beautiful. I love the way the way it changes the tone of the sky. They way the sun allows you to look directly at him after being aggressive the whole day. And then as in sets, the stars start to assemble. And the moon slowly takes charge over the sky. And the tides swiftly change while the wind kisses me.It's as if God sent them to carefully caress my cheek.
God has indeed great ways of tapping us in the back, to say, "It's OK." In that moment, there was no need for words, or any grand sign, or a distinct song. All i need to do, is to look inside, remind me of what i still have, and what life has in store for me. And after that, I'll feel ok.
I know this life ahead is gonna be great. It's what the Sun told me tonight, that in the break of light, hope will spring eternal. It's what the stars told me, that in the darkest of hours, they shine the brightest. It's what the moon told me, that even a weak pull of gravity gives you the power to change the tides...
Maybe i've made mistakes these past few sems, or shifts, or life. But then again, we all make mistakes. Maybe sometimes, life just fucks you. That's why nobody dies a virgin.
Regrets, heartaches, and bad decisions - hopefully they all wash away someday... Lessons. they engrave it inside you and rewire you, and make you who you are. They become a part of you. They become you... I'm tired of finding a reason to all these. Maybe i just have to go with the flow and follow the process without overthinking them too much. Without wallowing in pity or sadness. I have to go with the flow, and I have to do it with still my head up and receive what life has in store for me with open arms.
I will still fight a good fight.
I will finish this race.
And I will keep the Faith.
