wala namang distraction. wala namang pressure. wala namang bagyo. wala namang kulang. wala namang puyat. wala naman hinahabol. wala namang hadlang. kumpleto ako ng handouts. kumpleto ng highlighters. kumpleto sa pagkain. kumpleto sa study materials. kumpleto sa lahat. kumpleto sa tulog. kumpleto sa resources.
e tangina bat di ako makaaral?
hindi naman ako tinatamad ah?
Friday, 8 August 2008
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
so nice
this one is from my friend, Aryan, from my previous blogsite, tabulas. In our emo days, we were singing our songs together, she even published a book with my as one of the acknowledgements, and now, i'm happy that she's happy with her life. :)
i recently commented on her cheezy blogs, and her reply simply put a nice warm smile on my face:
"sana mkatagpo ka na rin ng mekanikong aayos sa puso mo. four years na tayong nagdadamayan. thanks for always being around karl. dr karl na pala ngayon :)"
umaayos na ang mga buhay nila. yehey, ako na next. :)
i recently commented on her cheezy blogs, and her reply simply put a nice warm smile on my face:
"sana mkatagpo ka na rin ng mekanikong aayos sa puso mo. four years na tayong nagdadamayan. thanks for always being around karl. dr karl na pala ngayon :)"
umaayos na ang mga buhay nila. yehey, ako na next. :)
Monday, 4 August 2008
Monday, 28 July 2008
stethoscope
monday afternoon.
i cant sleep. i wanted to sleep. i was lying in the couch and thinking of resetting my mind for all the sense and nonsense that happened today. i was pulling myself too much into sleep, but i can't sleep.
tony said the half life for coffee is 3-4 hours. but it's been 12 hours since my last coffee. 12 hours. i closed my eyes for the Nth time, and still, no help. and then i opened my eyes again, and saw something...
on top of the glass table beside our couch, there lied a shiny stethoscope dimly lit by our cabaret-like faded lights of the sala.
i grabbed it. wore it while lying down, and put it on my 5th left intercostal space. right where the left ventricle shouts the loudest. the up the the 3th intercostal space. then beside the sternum. then back, then around, then back.
and there it was.
S1 and S2.
Lub and Dub. Lub and Dub.
Tricuspid and Mitral.
Atria and Ventricle.
Systole and Diastole.
It's amazing how a pack of cardiac muscles just as big as one's fist could be so responsible for the the body's supply of oxygenated blood.
Amazing how it never started beating weeks before we saw light on this earth.
Amazing how it keeps on beating until now. from the vena cava to the pulmonary artery, vein, then aorta.
Amazing how each beat is so efficient. so coordinated. so wonderfully designed.
the sounds were so peaceful. and serene.
i felt like in the womb again.
hearing nothing but a heatbeat.
i didnt notice that i was closing my eyes.
and sinking into a silent pool of cardiac sounds.
of ventricular music.
of atrial melody.
of the rhythm of the pacemaker cells
and slight echo of the pericardium.
lub.
dub.
lub.
dub.
...and then, i was asleep.
i cant sleep. i wanted to sleep. i was lying in the couch and thinking of resetting my mind for all the sense and nonsense that happened today. i was pulling myself too much into sleep, but i can't sleep.
tony said the half life for coffee is 3-4 hours. but it's been 12 hours since my last coffee. 12 hours. i closed my eyes for the Nth time, and still, no help. and then i opened my eyes again, and saw something...
on top of the glass table beside our couch, there lied a shiny stethoscope dimly lit by our cabaret-like faded lights of the sala.
i grabbed it. wore it while lying down, and put it on my 5th left intercostal space. right where the left ventricle shouts the loudest. the up the the 3th intercostal space. then beside the sternum. then back, then around, then back.
and there it was.
S1 and S2.
Lub and Dub. Lub and Dub.
Tricuspid and Mitral.
Atria and Ventricle.
Systole and Diastole.
It's amazing how a pack of cardiac muscles just as big as one's fist could be so responsible for the the body's supply of oxygenated blood.
Amazing how it never started beating weeks before we saw light on this earth.
Amazing how it keeps on beating until now. from the vena cava to the pulmonary artery, vein, then aorta.
Amazing how each beat is so efficient. so coordinated. so wonderfully designed.
the sounds were so peaceful. and serene.
i felt like in the womb again.
hearing nothing but a heatbeat.
i didnt notice that i was closing my eyes.
and sinking into a silent pool of cardiac sounds.
of ventricular music.
of atrial melody.
of the rhythm of the pacemaker cells
and slight echo of the pericardium.
lub.
dub.
lub.
dub.
...and then, i was asleep.
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
falling from a high place
July 22 is a great day for me.
8.am I didnt fail the micro exam (refer to last blogpost),
10.00 am Had lunch at Mang Toots,
12.30 am had a little fun with my new subsecmates (C5)(Papa Bear Pangan?! haha)
2.00 pm konting pictorial sa daga then sa subsec
6.00 pm the ireg parteh,
8.00 pm lacson unleashed his Thomasian Spirit, Kiko's Heart talk,
9.00 pm drove to PhilCoa for Janna's mini birthday party
12.00am with my Highschool friends
and then... by 2.00am, when i was about to go home...
the car wont start.
i tried again.
the alarm sounded.
i panicked. "oh shit. baka magising ang mga kapitbahay ni Kokok at pagkalaman akong magnanakaw ng sarili kong koche!"
nagpanick talaga ako. tarantang itik. at nagfflash forward nako sa mga echo ng boses nila daddy at mommy na nagagalit. "tinakas mo nanaman ang koche?! hindi ka na nag-aaral! puro ka nalang pasarap... ablablablabla"
the alarm stopped. at sinusian ko uli.. and
shit. nag-alarm ulit. i realized i was just using the duplicate set of keys, so hinatid ako ni JC Alberto sa bahay para kunin yung isa pang set ng susi. yung original na.
good thing my brother, Shan, was still awake, so she got the key's from my mom's bag and went back with me at Kokok's, hoping that the original key would tame the alarm down.
but it didnt.
it fucking didnt. panic na talaga. so i had no choice but to call my mom. (last resort na talaga si Daddy kasi baka may inooperahan, or natutulog.) And my mum went so mad. as expected.
naghanap kami ng mekanino nearby, and thank God and the god of Mitsubishi may bukas pang talyer dun. kinalas nila ang beterya, kinabit ulit. tanggal na ang alarm. then they said, "Boss, kakadjutin natin to" (translation for the konyo people: "Hey handsome, we will make tulak-tulak your car ha?")
first try. second try. umandar. and it died again. im such a loser. or the car is the loser.
si manong nalang ang kumadjot ng koche, and the car suddenly went back to life, at least for the next 30 minutes.
Shan and I did the scariest UST to Frisco trip of our lives. I kept on kicking and kicking the gas, and kung stop sa stoplight, i still kept on kicking gas while on neutral. we were so damn scared. not because it was late at night. not because a truck might crush the car. but because the car may die again, and it will only be Shan who will be pushing the car. hindi ko kapatid si Superman.
After a 30 minute drive at second gear... we arrived the gates of 35 Osmena St, SFDM QC, in one piece. inscathed. and still scared.
and then. just when the car was parked on his happy place sa garage...
and the engine spontaneously died.
the car wont start again... walang magagamit na koche si Mama. i didnt know what to do. and ayun na nga. napagalitan. napagalitan. napagalitan. nadamay ang Physio. nadamay ang schedule ko. nadamay ang mga party na pinuntahan ko last year. nadamay ang kuyente. and gasolina. pati si manang nadamay, ibang kwento na yun. and Dad is mad too, gising na siya, tumawag from Olongapo. Buti nalang hindi na inabot ang telepono sakin kundi na-double dead ako ngayon.
and now.... just before i sleep, i though: i was so damn happy the whole day. and it ended the way it doesnt deserve to end...
when i fall, i want to fall from a high place.
and i just did. and i'm sleepy. i hope magstart naman yung koche para kay mommy bukas. konting himala, Lord. himala. magtira naman sana kahit konting swerte ko nung tuesday.
8.am I didnt fail the micro exam (refer to last blogpost),
10.00 am Had lunch at Mang Toots,
12.30 am had a little fun with my new subsecmates (C5)(Papa Bear Pangan?! haha)
2.00 pm konting pictorial sa daga then sa subsec
6.00 pm the ireg parteh,
8.00 pm lacson unleashed his Thomasian Spirit, Kiko's Heart talk,
9.00 pm drove to PhilCoa for Janna's mini birthday party
12.00am with my Highschool friends
and then... by 2.00am, when i was about to go home...
the car wont start.
i tried again.
the alarm sounded.
i panicked. "oh shit. baka magising ang mga kapitbahay ni Kokok at pagkalaman akong magnanakaw ng sarili kong koche!"
nagpanick talaga ako. tarantang itik. at nagfflash forward nako sa mga echo ng boses nila daddy at mommy na nagagalit. "tinakas mo nanaman ang koche?! hindi ka na nag-aaral! puro ka nalang pasarap... ablablablabla"
the alarm stopped. at sinusian ko uli.. and
shit. nag-alarm ulit. i realized i was just using the duplicate set of keys, so hinatid ako ni JC Alberto sa bahay para kunin yung isa pang set ng susi. yung original na.
good thing my brother, Shan, was still awake, so she got the key's from my mom's bag and went back with me at Kokok's, hoping that the original key would tame the alarm down.
but it didnt.
it fucking didnt. panic na talaga. so i had no choice but to call my mom. (last resort na talaga si Daddy kasi baka may inooperahan, or natutulog.) And my mum went so mad. as expected.
naghanap kami ng mekanino nearby, and thank God and the god of Mitsubishi may bukas pang talyer dun. kinalas nila ang beterya, kinabit ulit. tanggal na ang alarm. then they said, "Boss, kakadjutin natin to" (translation for the konyo people: "Hey handsome, we will make tulak-tulak your car ha?")
first try. second try. umandar. and it died again. im such a loser. or the car is the loser.
si manong nalang ang kumadjot ng koche, and the car suddenly went back to life, at least for the next 30 minutes.
Shan and I did the scariest UST to Frisco trip of our lives. I kept on kicking and kicking the gas, and kung stop sa stoplight, i still kept on kicking gas while on neutral. we were so damn scared. not because it was late at night. not because a truck might crush the car. but because the car may die again, and it will only be Shan who will be pushing the car. hindi ko kapatid si Superman.
After a 30 minute drive at second gear... we arrived the gates of 35 Osmena St, SFDM QC, in one piece. inscathed. and still scared.
and then. just when the car was parked on his happy place sa garage...
and the engine spontaneously died.
the car wont start again... walang magagamit na koche si Mama. i didnt know what to do. and ayun na nga. napagalitan. napagalitan. napagalitan. nadamay ang Physio. nadamay ang schedule ko. nadamay ang mga party na pinuntahan ko last year. nadamay ang kuyente. and gasolina. pati si manang nadamay, ibang kwento na yun. and Dad is mad too, gising na siya, tumawag from Olongapo. Buti nalang hindi na inabot ang telepono sakin kundi na-double dead ako ngayon.
and now.... just before i sleep, i though: i was so damn happy the whole day. and it ended the way it doesnt deserve to end...
when i fall, i want to fall from a high place.
and i just did. and i'm sleepy. i hope magstart naman yung koche para kay mommy bukas. konting himala, Lord. himala. magtira naman sana kahit konting swerte ko nung tuesday.
Monday, 21 July 2008
A sign?
Hindi ako nabigyan ni Ma'am Monet ng Handouts today.
Pero sabi ko, ok lang, kasi meron naman ako nung dati. So aral lang.
Nung micro na ang aaralin ko...
narealize kong nawawala ang Jawetz ko. Shit. Sana pakalat-kalat lang siya sa bahay.Sana.
tapos, naghanap nalang ako ng compressed lecture notes sa Drive D.
at narealize ko, andun pala siya kasama ng namatay kong hard disk. double shit.
so, nagdownload ako ng notes sa 4shared ng bmd yahoogroups.
tapos... nung ipprint ko na... walang black ink ang printer. triple shit.
pero gumawa pa rin ako ng paraan, ginawa kong red, green, blue, orange, at purple ang text ng handouts. sa awa ng diyos, nagprint naman.
pero... nung babasahin ko na... nawawala naman ang mga higlighters ko. lalo na yung yellow na faber castell. favorite kong higlighter yun. quadruple shit!
pero, sige lang. ok lang na walang highlighter. so, nung nagbabasa na ako dito sa kwarto ni mommy para aircon, (kanina lang yun, 1:00AM), sabi ni Mommy, "Karl, patayin mo na nga ang ilaw. magtipid na tayo ng kuryente!" quintuple shit!
Lord, ayaw niyo ba akong mag-aral?
matutulog na lang ako!
Pero sabi ko, ok lang, kasi meron naman ako nung dati. So aral lang.
Nung micro na ang aaralin ko...
narealize kong nawawala ang Jawetz ko. Shit. Sana pakalat-kalat lang siya sa bahay.Sana.
tapos, naghanap nalang ako ng compressed lecture notes sa Drive D.
at narealize ko, andun pala siya kasama ng namatay kong hard disk. double shit.
so, nagdownload ako ng notes sa 4shared ng bmd yahoogroups.
tapos... nung ipprint ko na... walang black ink ang printer. triple shit.
pero gumawa pa rin ako ng paraan, ginawa kong red, green, blue, orange, at purple ang text ng handouts. sa awa ng diyos, nagprint naman.
pero... nung babasahin ko na... nawawala naman ang mga higlighters ko. lalo na yung yellow na faber castell. favorite kong higlighter yun. quadruple shit!
pero, sige lang. ok lang na walang highlighter. so, nung nagbabasa na ako dito sa kwarto ni mommy para aircon, (kanina lang yun, 1:00AM), sabi ni Mommy, "Karl, patayin mo na nga ang ilaw. magtipid na tayo ng kuryente!" quintuple shit!
Lord, ayaw niyo ba akong mag-aral?
matutulog na lang ako!
Friday, 18 July 2008
tangnang bakla ka
<edited na, sorry Prince! hehe>
langyang bakla ka.
i know you're reading this because you always read my blogs.
i hate gays like you.You dicksucking asshole.
Asshole.
---
ayan na vent-out ko na. ok nako :) haha
langyang bakla ka.
i know you're reading this because you always read my blogs.
i hate gays like you.You dicksucking asshole.
Asshole.
---
ayan na vent-out ko na. ok nako :) haha
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