stethoscope

monday afternoon.

i cant sleep. i wanted to sleep. i was lying in the couch and thinking of resetting my mind for all the sense and nonsense that happened today. i was pulling myself too much into sleep, but i can't sleep.

tony said the half life for coffee is 3-4 hours. but it's been 12 hours since my last coffee. 12 hours. i closed my eyes for the Nth time, and still, no help. and then i opened my eyes again, and saw something...

on top of the glass table beside our couch, there lied a shiny stethoscope dimly lit by our cabaret-like faded lights of the sala.

i grabbed it. wore it while lying down, and put it on my 5th left intercostal space. right where the left ventricle shouts the loudest. the up the the 3th intercostal space. then beside the sternum. then back, then around, then back.

and there it was.

S1 and S2.
Lub and Dub. Lub and Dub.
Tricuspid and Mitral.
Atria and Ventricle.
Systole and Diastole.

It's amazing how a pack of cardiac muscles just as big as one's fist could be so responsible for the the body's supply of oxygenated blood.

Amazing how it never started beating weeks before we saw light on this earth.

Amazing how it keeps on beating until now. from the vena cava to the pulmonary artery, vein, then aorta.

Amazing how each beat is so efficient. so coordinated. so wonderfully designed.


the sounds were so peaceful. and serene.
i felt like in the womb again.
hearing nothing but a heatbeat.
i didnt notice that i was closing my eyes.
and sinking into a silent pool of cardiac sounds.
of ventricular music.
of atrial melody.
of the rhythm of the pacemaker cells
and slight echo of the pericardium.

lub.
dub.
lub.
dub.


...and then, i was asleep.