Feb Fourteen

I said I'll never write about this. But, here i am. haha. I can't fight the itch and i want to get over this nice and quick:

I never liked V-day.

I don't remember any good heartjumping thing that happened to me, or any romantic chuvachuchu crap i felt on any Feb 14 in the entire timeline of my life so far. But to be clear, I'm not sourgraping., im not bitter. I'm just, uhm, uncomfortable...and I'm just expressing what I've observed. This day is just overrated, and I feel like im not that Valentine's type of guy. Why? Because Roses are triple the price, traffic's a killer, and in the end I always end up sleeping alone. Sometimes happy, sometimes wondering, sometimes just staring, and last year i was probably studying. or sleeping.

Oh. How could I forget last year's valentine's anyway? Went to Dangwa for roses to suprise someone, and right when I bought the roses, she just said nakasakay na siya sa FX pauwi. It's not her fault, of course. Duh, she doesnt know I'm to suprise her, bat nya pipigilan ang sarili nyang sumakay ng FX diba?... The roses I were holding that time were then equally distributed to some random female friends. Loss of one, Gain of others i guess. Close, but still not enough to qualify as a good Vday.

I remember Jhun 3 years ago being bitter about it to that point that he doesnt want to mention the word. I remember meeting my girlfriend in the main building and i tried my best to pull her to our Science Week exhibit but she said she has to go... to watch a movie with her friends.  I remember staying at LSQC for the whole day to help my bestfriend JC to prepare for something for his girlfriend. I remember just watching the sunset at Zambales sunset alone.

You see, I could go on and on... and on. I could enumarate a lot of rants regarding this day, and yet, still deny that I am bitter. Haha. How stupid? I could go on forever... but I know someday in the future, there will be one V-day that will defy this losing streak, this curse, this dry spell. Vday has been this same this year. But I know this cycle will change.I'll try Maybe on the next, or maybe next next. Nevertheless I'm still hopeful. Hopeful that I'll one day watch the Vday sunset with someone, that the flowers ill buy will land on her arms from mine, hopeful that I'll go home late because I had a date on valentine's. That one day, I am to blog and post something sweet and positive and worth posting in multiply.

I am always hopeful that I'll one day become a successful surgeon, a cool dad, blablabla... I might as well also shine a glimmer of hope of a better Heart Life. It's probably time i stop beating myself too much.

So that's it. This Feb 14 blog. I still cant move in the words "Happy" and "Valentines" together but at least they're inching in closer every year. And I'm not worried that they wont. Because I know someday, I'll have my kick-ass Vday. I trust this proccess. I trust life. And I trust Love.

as for now, I'll probably just be drinking this year's V-day till i sleep...

...Alone.