this is Worth Reading, i promise

nakakatuwang basahin. i wrote this one last year. :) basa, basa!

karl and karl

here we go again", he said. He just graduated, finished an entirely stressful Thesis experience, sitting at the Dean's Office at the Med Building. "Another 4 years",  he said to himself. He has no idea how more twisted this next stage will be... All he feels at the moment is just gratitude that he made it on that list. He was still overwhelmed, and shocked, and, savoring the moment.

then came another dude, pushing the glass door, wearing all white, with a stethoscope hanging on his neck, still wearing that smile, but now with more lines around the lips, and cheeks, and eyes, and you can really see that time really slashed a few more stress lines on him,  still wearing the same hairdo,  the Young One could easily recognize him...

It was Himself. Karl Erjon Edejer, Four Years later.

The Young Karl was waiting for the Dean to sign his papers so that he can pay his reservation fee. After everything he had been through, after praying and panicking to be on that list, God knows why he's there.

The Older Karl sat beside him, also waiting for some papers to be signed. After everthing he had been through, endless exam days, nights, midnights and dawn, God knows why he's there.

The two sat with each other. The Karl which is 20 years old, fresh from college of Science. and the Karl who will be 24 years old. The two finally meet. God must be smiling.

"So how are you?" said the old Karl

"Haha, I should be asking you that dude. You know how i feel today, you're Me.", the young man replied

"Hahaha, oo nga naman, I know how you feel right now."

"Onga. Syempre alam mo ngayon na masaya ako. How bout you?God, I have a lot to ask. Kamusta ka?"

"Ako? well... ayokong sabihin."

"Pucha baket?"

There was no reply. The Old Karl just smiled, and stared in the nothingness in front of him

"Kamusta? Nahirapan ba ako sa Med?"

"Oo naman. Walang medschool na madali pare."  oh shit so true (said first year karl. haha)

"Lahat naman sila yun ang sinasabi eh. Cmon, fill me in! Anong mangyayari?!"

"Well... well. hindi ko pwedeng sabihin sayo eh"

"Bakit? Bawal?"

"Hindi sa bawal. Ayoko lang"

"Nu ba yan. Magiging kupal pala ako sa future."

"Watch your words."

"Whew. Sori ha.", the young Karl immaturely laughed.

"Nah. Mababawasan din yang ganyan mo in the next years."

"Unless I Dont."

"Yeah, unless you don't... But is that really Who You Are? or would you choose to step up your words a little bit better?"

"May point ka, anu ba yan ang lalim mo na magsalita... haha. Ano na? Kamusta Med?"

"Ayoko talagang sabihin"

"bakit nga?"

"Remember nung may isang taong nagsqueal sayo ng mangyayari sa Episode 17 ng Grey's Anatomy, Season 3?"

"Ah, yun? Yung mamamatay si _____? Oo, badtrip nga nagsabi sakin nun e"

"Ganun lang ang mangyayari kung sasabihin ko sayo ang mga mangyayari sa mga susunod na taon. Mawawala ang suspense, mawawala ang thrill. Hindi sa selfish ako para ishare sayo ang mga mangyayari, pero it would be a lot better if you unfold the leaves of the book by yourself.

Oo, mahihirapan ka, maiisip mo na its going to be the hardest phase of your life, there will be times you'll even think it'll be the worst days of your life. But from those low points you'll discover Who You Really Are and what you are capable of.... that you are bigger that who you think you are, Karl. You're a big person, but your heart is bigger.

There will be moments, a lot of moments, when you will question why you've entered this profession, when you've thought of quitting, of giving up. But all you have to do is look around, Karl.

Look at your Dad, no one thought he's going to be a doctor before because of his habits before, but look at him now - a guiding hand behind you, and he's always gonna be there, Karl, always.
Look at your Mum, she may be pushing you to go to freakin Nursing right now, but she will be there beside you too; To make you cups of coffee before she sleep, to check on you if you've forgotten to eat, to go to Baclaran and offer a candle for you.
Look at your siblings, they look up to you. They'll offer their prayers for you, lend up their ears to listen to your rants, to hug you when you pass kick-ass subjects, and always wish you the best.
Look at your family, the Moranas, the Ongs, the Educalanes, the Misas, the Bagasinas, the Malays, the great people of candelaria that you have met and you are yet to meet
Your friends. your Lovers (oh, slash that one off), your enemies, your mentors, your future colleagues.

you have a more-than-enough support system to cushion you, so you should never feel alone. Never.

and finally, Look up, Look up to God,. He has a great plan for Us, Karl. A really really great one. I havent seen the entire picture yet, but i know its going to be one hell of a story.

Yes, Medschool is going to be Hard. Really Hard. Its going to shoot inside you, and in your body and in your soul. But You, You are going to Shoot back. you are going to fight, you are going to have the time of your life.

Andami ko nang nasabi."

After that, they were silent.

Ate Kristine of the Admissions Office just got the papers and called out a name, "Edejer"

the Young One stood up, and went to the table on the right side.

After which, another person called another name, "Edejer"

the Older one stood up, and went to the table on the left side.

the Older one, looked blank at the paper expressionless. The young one didnt know what the paper the Older one was holding. Does it bring Good news, or Bad News? Well, guess he has to wait to 4 years to find out what it is.

The younger one went to the glass door of the office and bid goodbye to his Older self, "Oi Karl, alis nako"

"Sige Karl, ingat."

"Waitlang, bakit nga ba hindi mo naisipang magpalit ng hairdo?"

"Ikaw, tanungin mo yan sa sarili mo."

"Nyek binabalik mo nanaman ang tanong eh"

"Hindi dude. actually, Ikaw lang talaga. Ikaw ang magdedecide kung ano ang nakasulat sa papel na hawak ko ngayon, kung ano ang buhok ko ngayon. Actually ikaw talaga ang magdedecide kung Ikaw pa ba ang nandito sa office the to after 4 years. It's your choice. Like what you said to yourself 4 years ago, well which is 8 years na pala sakin, it will take a damn lot to get you from there, a fresh premed graduate to here. What and who am i right now is who will you choose to be today, and in the coming days."

"Yeah, its my choices."

Overwhelmed, and struck, young Karl reached out his hand to his older Self and they shook hands. They both have hard grips, a good eye contact, the same smile, and the same ooze of confidence,. After all, they're the same person.

They both came out of the office. the Young one wne to Main Building and Paid his Reservation Fee and the older one looked at his Younger Self while he's walking away. He wished him Good Luck, he prayed for Him, and he smiled...

because his Journey had just begun.