Man sends the most sophisticated spacecrafts into space to venture into the unknown, but until know they still haven't decoded the complexity of the human brain.
during the psych interview with a consultant and a patient:
"enumerate three problems you have in your life", asked the doctor to the psych patient.
there was one answer that struck me bigtime
"nalimutan ko po ang sarili ko"
it was plain and simple. and for me, it answered everything. every symptom. every delusion and it explained why she has lost her sanity. she started working by 17 and helped raise her 14 other siblings. she had kids and spoiled them all and gave all the comforts she never had. she bought a house for her parents. sent her siblings to school. she loved too much that she forgot to love herself. she was neglected. harassed. and was unappreciated.
because of that, her brain created another reality. one where she owns a lawfirm, where she's friends with queen elizabeth, when she easily beats everyone in gambling, where she is a harvard graduate and a lawyer and cpa. her brain created that as a way of compensation of how low her psych had gone and her ego cannot take it anymore, thus, she creates a place where it could all be better, where it could all be bearable... a world where she could rule once again.
how often do we forget ourselves in exchange for sanity? in exchange for other's hapiness? how far are we from those patients? when do you call delusions pathologic? when do you need to treat anxiety? when does overhapiness become non-beneficial? when does sadness become alarming?
during Psych rotation, I realized how fragile one's Psych could be. Breakups. Deaths. Failures. Trauma. those stressors push you from reality and fool your brain to make an alternate story. Some minds needed confirmation that what they are doing is right, hence they start to hear voices as if they're your conscience patting you on the back. Some minds cannot bear a depression that they simply shut down and either pour a dam of tears, or well it down and let them dry. Some minds excacerbate fears, some misleads it, some just totally removes it. Sometimes, the mind auto-deletes, sometimes they emphasize. overemphasize that even in sleep, they replay.
but of course, knowing God, i don't think he'll let us sink into that void of unknowingness (if there's even such a word) Knowing God, I believe he'd put road signs if ever we'd trek that way, he'd send saviors, or even give a divine intervention just so we'd go back to being sane. Most of the time it's in the form of a support system called our friends, who would buffer our rage and keep our minds in check and kill our suicidal ideations, sometimes God would send random messages in the form of a song in the radio, or a movie scene, or simply silence in a cold toxic night that calms you and tells you that everything's gonna be alright. it may be in a form of a lover, your most intimate psychotherapist. and maybe if all else fails, if we get too lost, next to death, we get saved in the form of antipsychotics
Antipsychotics.
Doctors launch them like space probes that they send into your brain in the quest to find you back.\
Problem is, if they find you,
are you willing to go back?
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