Love, Let's settle this

I tried to define love so many times. In scrapbooks, in journals, in etches along my hippocampus, in massage parlors. I tried capturing the words that would quantify or qualify this complicated feeling. I once wrote that it was the sunmmation of one tree hill and greys anatomy and one more chance and mula sa puso, but realized along the way that having your definition defined by a movie or a teleserye will render it unoriginal and the story too much cheezy, complicated, and impossible. I tried writing love in moments i was filled with it, and saw it in contrast to the moments i was devoid of it. I tried defining it under the shining ray of moon, striking the beach, i tried defining it while watching the sunset, i tried writing it drunk, i tried writing it tired. Ever since ive seen moulin rouge in high school, ive started asking what the hell love is - point is, i have always been trying.



Until i realize that I have to give up on putting a single definition of it. That i must stop capturing this freakin four letter word into single definition, becauseif i do,it will become limited, and narrow, and just applicable to one single moment, a single era, a single wavelength - which is far from what love has been trying to say to me. Because from what i realize so far, there is a wide spectrum of degrees of loving, and it changes through time, through experience and through a process, and it changes beautifully as mother nature changes the trees, as powerful as the moon changes the tides, and as potent as the sun to each living thing.



Maybe i have to put my pen down and stop encaging love into a few sentenced definition.



Maybe i just have to watch it flow, and come, and go into my hands as it define itself and find the words for it, but never put a period to it. I have to make it embrace me and define me, and change me, and fix me then break me to build another, better me. I have to see the beauty of this goddamn process. Though there may be times i may not understand, i know, someday i will. Because I have to. god will always send someone or something to fix me.



It took a lot of tries to write a blog formally about love. Some were wrapped in metaphors, some wrapped in humor, some just written raw. This is the time i'd be saying, ill never have one single definition for it.



And im letting it be.