I had chest pains while taking Yesterday's exam. Sudden, Left sided, sharp/crushing, (7/10) kakabahan-ka-talaga pain while sitting there battling it out with my test paper. I had no idea whether those were real MI-like pain or angina, or imaginary examination induced pain, but from that seat, it made me wonder: If I would have a heart attack today: (1) I think I'd die in the room. Given my unforgivable BMI, my classmates will not be able to carry me. (2) I'd be totally pissed because I didnt get to be a doctor (3) I have never written a Last Will and Testament. Yet. It will be my last say if I'll never get the chance to do so.
So, the idea of a LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF KARL EDEJER was born. At First, i thought only the rich, powerful, and old people are allowed to make a Last Will and Testament (LWaT, from here on, it sucks typing it everytime) - but, for the heck of it (and maybe fun of it), i'll try to write one. Even If i dont have a lawyer to document this, I have facebook. And to add the need to make an LWaT: in case the Mayan people are correct, we all die by December 21, 2012 (i'd be at Fabella rotation that time) - in case some people survive and repopulate the earth and stumble across this, it could be a good (legal) reference. Whatever.
So I sat here trying to recall and everything that I own and kung kanino ipapamana ang mga to and suddenly I realized one important thing: I don't own anything.
At 25 years of existence, i dont have a car, my Phone lines are still named after my mom (which is okay, cause she pays for it), i dont have a house, the laptop im using now isnt even mine. I have a college degree and is about to go through hell to get my MD. My med books are usually CHM from iPad and my iPad's full of jailbroken games and a dead pixel, my Harrison's is slighlty used, my Phone is butt ugly (not to mention has more 'charge time' than 'alive time'), I can give away my collection of movies and pictures but a brod accidentally 'reformatted' my precious hard drive. I am far away from getting into a relationship, even further in getting married. If ever i'm going to die at this moment,
how the hell will my Will, will be?
Then, i remembered a good friend who once told me that 'writing is the best way to immortalize yourself' - so maybe my last will and testament will simply be the memories kept with me. So if you ask,ano pamana ko sayo? close your eyes and remember a vivid memory with me,and that will be it. It's so corny, but that's what people do when they remember someone, don't they? but still, corny.
The only things that will probably will be on my LWaT will be my ever so precious blogs and rants and unpublished works and the random quotes I keep in my phone. And so, no matter how babaw this will be, granting that some of them might be possible kahit hindi ngayon... drumroll...
The Last Will and Testament of Karl Erjon Misa Edejer... so far
(as of March 2012, may be revised without prior notice)
(and forgive the Taglish. I got carried away with some of my deathwishes)
- First kung meron man. All my money will go to:
- my wife (if applicable) UNLESS OTHERWISE I'd edit another LWaT saying na wag nalang
- and Kids
- if not applicable, they will all go to my Parents, and all my siblings including sylar.
so, kung may 60 pesos ako sa bangko. 10 kay daddy, 10 kay mommy, tig-10 si Shan Shen at Pae, at Sylar. Pamasahe din yun, at kendi.
- one day ill let my wife know my FB password and click on 'drafts' for all unpublished works i have. If ever I haven't told her, she will ask Paolo Mendiola to hack through my FB and get my works. If I don't have a wife, or a girlfriend when I die, I'll let my sister, Pae, open it. Pae will ask Paolo to hack it. (btw Paolo doesnt have to wait for me to die for him to hack me. He has already done so, for the record)
- my trophies and certificates and awards was well kept by my mom, I inherited it when I went to college. It will go back to her. It was all dedicated to her and my dad anyway. Specially the Silver Medal I got during 5th grade when I went against all odds for an Elocution Contest. I didnt even had a barong. When i got the medal, I borrowed from one of the losers just to pose like a (real) winner. And of course, the Top 1 in Class Medal where I went from Zero to One from nowhere.
- my Ugly Netbook (or any laptop I have during that time) will go to Pae Edejer. not because you need it, but because it's full of memories.Wag mo nang iwawala ha? Just buy an adaptor for it. My iPad to Shen Edejer, since you know my password for my Porn (kahit by that time iPad version 24 na yan, same parin ang passwrod)
- Gustuhin ko mang ibigay kay Shan Edejer ang beach house, hindi pwede, dahil hindi naman talaga sakin ang Beach House. :p Kay daddy nga pala yun, feel na feel ko lang na sakin, and I hope Shan will take care of it the same way I did. And I'm sure he will. (And, i dont have to die for you to take good care of it)
- my carbon copy of love letters (i received and made) will be safekept by Marey Garcia. She may copy it if she wants to and use it for whatever purpose it may serve
- If I ever get rich when I die, ipangbibili ng Frat House ang ibang parte ng aking kayamanan. Yung Frat House na may Parking. May maid. May Pole para sa mga 'special guests'. May surround sound, strobe lights, disco lights, at trampoline. May fountain ng Alak. May swimming pools. Tatlo. Yung una, tubig ang laman, yung pangalawa beer, at yung pangatlong pool, Jack Daniels -- yun yung may slide. At may TV screen sa floor, pader, banyo, table, sa ibang pang mga walang kwentang lugar - parang sa Pimp my Ride. At may garden na may pananim ni John Uy. Yung frathouse na bawal si Ch*rles. Yung may elevator kahit 2 floors lang basta for the sake na meron. Maglalagay din ako ng special place para sa mga aso ni Jappy dahil inferness, cute naman mga aso nya, mejo mabilis lang talaga bumaho. Ipapamana ko sa dalawang asignatories ang kayamanan ko na pangbili ng frathouse sa kung sino man ang Primo kung mawala ako. Ang pagkuha ng password sa bangko ko ay magiging isang mala Da Vinci code treasure hunting adventure - ang unang clue at magsisimula sa ilalim ng mga couch na nasira ko sa FH through the years.
- My DWTL Box will be inherited by Kris Rea and Mommy Olive. DWTL 54 Tag by Gayle Salise. DWTL 70 by Geli Balcruz. As for my kids, they will get the letters to me if they can guess the pathetic number of letters I received during that day.I would want to donate to DWTL pero feeling ko mauubos na ng Frat House yung pera so"I'll watch you from above" nalang. At magmumulto ako sa DISCO.
- before I started online blogging, I had My blue notebook of rants. Whom to give? (still undecided - as of now, i think it should be burned) :D
- my Blogs will be posted on the walls of my funeral. I dont care how they will screen the good ones from the bad, as long as they post the top 30 good ones. Post it on the walls or make a pseudo exhibit outside. Screw the flowers, cash nalang, or cheque. Or maybe get a new room where my works will be celebrated. I know it's too ego-centric, but it's my funeral anyway, paki mo ba? :D walang basagan ng trip. Kung inggit ka, gawin mo rin sa burol mo. Haha. Anyways, Writing is more than just a hobby for me. More than just therapy. through years, it has become my art. And if asked on how will I want to become remembered, I know I'll be remembered best when they read my art. For an archive of my blogs (www.karlerjon.multiply.com, and on the notes section of my FB, and the secret blogs/alter ego blogpages are not worth posting and reading)
- And Finally, written on my tombstone will be
"Here Lies Karl.
A Healer. A Writer.
Trespassers Welcome."
Disclaimer: I am not (and not planning on) dropping down dead in the days to come. Haha.
Have an open mind reading this.
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