Hippocratic Oath

it was Love at first sight.

They showed the Hippocratic Oath on one of our First Days in Med.

I stared stunned at that powerpoint slide and the Ancient Words written on it. All doctors - every single one of them have recited this sacred oath created by the Father of Medicine.

and I fell in Love with every single word. and longed for the day i'd get to recite it. and feel every letter and word and every line...

My Dad has a picture while he was reciting it on his oath taking... tangina. pag ako yan, maiiyak talaga ako sa PICC habang nirerecite ko yan.


"I will keep them from harm and injustice."
"In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art."
"To keep the good of the patient as the highest priority."

So, well, we're here for that goal. We are here memorizing the Metabolism of Everything Organic, Dissecting a Penis, Palpating Fake Breasts, Visiting Health Centers, Understanding the Human Psyche, and the Neuroanatomical Processes Behind it, the Menstrual cycle, and the Anatomical, Histological, Physiological, Endocrinal, and soon, the Pathological, and Gynecological process behind it... All for us to become worthy of raising our right hand and recite the Oath ourselves.

let me say that again... To become worthy of raising our right hand recite the Oath ourselves.

which made me ask.. Am I still worthy?

Hmm. Emotionally yes. Physically yes. Spiritually yes. but with my Grades. oh Shit. Let's not talk about it.

A year ago, i was dying to be in UST Med. Now, I'm simply dying in UST Med.

Man does not live on bread alone, so they say, but for me, im saying "Man does not live on willpower and inspiration alone." Funny how i say to myself before studying, "I can do this. I can do this. 2011, I can do this" and end up still saying, "I can do this. I can do this" - in my dreams. and the next thing I realize, it's 5.30AM. and i left my highlighters dry. and my sleepy head fell on the vestibule of Netter's Illustration of the Labia Minor for 5 full hours.

That's the problem. I keep on talking (and blogging) about it but i couldnt seem to move past the "i can do it" speech, and actually "do it". When i get my momentum, something, somewhere screws up. whether it is my mum talking to me about something i dont wanna talk about. or me getting hospitalized. So when is it gonna take off for me?

Sometimes I wish I have the brain of MJ Barcelona, or Melvin's, or Keith's, or Mayos', or Raquel's, or Francis' or Prima's. You know, they can sleep early, and then Ace the tests tomorrow. While us mortals burn the midnight oil and get a score barely reaching par. But I know I have my own unique Brain, and of course i cannot change it. duh. Wala pa ngang heart transplant sa Pinas, Brain pa kaya? And as if namang papayag sila. Haha.

Somewhere, something inside my unmapped neocortex and cortex there's a hidden stash of extra memory space, complete with an easy retrieval system, and extra triggering hormones for my wakefulness and concentration. Along the way, i know i'll find it and i know im gonna find more than that..
I know im gonna find what im looking for.
Ask God about anything, and long before you even asked it, he already has the answer. And I know, I'm gonna see this freakin purpose. God made it such a mystery for me. That's what makes it great. if i knew the secrets all along, the thrill would all be gone. but if i'd learn it myself, then this life will never run out of secrets and surprises.
So I know, someday, and soon (hopefully next week, haha) my brain will become stable enough to absorb all the information the Medical Field will feed me.

i know in the near future, i'll get to be on that stage and recite my Oath. and im sure the person beside me will not ask, "Pare anong grade mo sa Anatomy dati?", "Remedials ka lang ba ng Biochem?", "ilan ang napatay mong pasyente?", subukan lang niyang tanungin yun at isasampal ko sa mukha niya ang kamay na ipapang-oath ko. haha. and malakas ang kutob kong maiiyak ako sa araw na yun.

because i know how much i fought for it.
 
it was love at first sight when i first saw that oath.

and im going to fight for that love. for it's a love worth fighting for.