its always hard to say goodbye

"you're leaving?" he asked

"yup. im sorry" she replied back

"that sucks. merely 2 weeks?"

"2 weeks. but one of your longest 2 weeks, am i right?"

"hell yeah. ive been to Days 64, Played monster rancher till death, surfed the net till morning, played chaos legion, went to zambales, slept for an average of 10 hours a day, went to austin's, to pier one, to a wedding, to olongapo."

"looks like we did have fun, karl"

"i guess so. though it didnt went as planned. like go to EK, and Tagaytay and Greg's Punta Fuego. but well, i know i had fun. i needed you. i deserved you for god's sake. i longed for you since august... and so... here we are. bidding goodbyes. damn it, im gonna miss you"

"well. that's the way it is. until next year i spose?"

"it'll be another year next year. and i wont be the same, i guess"

"its ok. i wont be the same either. different digit on my last, different dates, and you better hope i become longer... and with a lot more suprises. and i hope i can bring along new adventures for you."

"thanks. you really mean a lot to me. and i really hate to see you go. the next time ill be opening my eyes again after i sleep, the first thing that im going to see is my Physio handouts, and Biochem. and god. we have a quiz. on our first day. crap...

...the moment you leave. the moment our eyes part, and you set off to somewhere i dont know... the moment we bid each other goodbye, i have to force myself to forget what we had"

"you dont have to forget me, karl. that's what memories are for. the problem with you is you cling too much to the memory that you forget that there's a present that you are in, and a future you are about to face,"

"i know. and honestly, im scared. scared to death. because when you leave, my demons are here to haunt me back. my 67 and idunno-what 2nd shift grade is back to put the pressure. neuroana, histo, epid, biochem, physiology, ana will be back, bringing along new friends with them: prev med and ethics. life will again be a matter of B-65 and 75 and computing and re-computing and catching up...

...i have to love another again. but the thing is, i love you, you know that? you're just so easy to love. effortless and pressure-free. carefree and inexpensive. i couldve chosen you among them all... but i have to move on."

"i know. its ok. im used to that. i only come to you once a year. and i give you everything your tired body and spirit and soul ever needed. and that's my purpose. that's why im called semestral break. just a break. a break from all that has been and for you to recharge and give you strength for all that you will be facing...

..,yes, you have to move on, karl. you have no choice. you have no choice but to love the one after me. dont worry, i wont get jealous. and ill be back, i promise, next year, ill be back, and i know you'll be needing me again."

"oh god. so, goodbye sembreak?"

"yeah. goodbye karl"

"until next year. dapat may boracay na jan sa events ah"

"dude, its your call, or maybe summer.haha. hey, stay strong, study well, and like what you always say, do it out of ---"

"--do it out of Love."

and there she went. doing what she had been doing ever since his education had begun: leaving after giving a well, well deserved rest. she was smiling. for she saw how much karl had changed since last year. and she saw how he needed her this bad this year. and she realized that there will be only two visits left. one on second year medschool, and one on third year. no sembreaks on clerkship.

and there, karl closed the door. he cant believe its over. seemed like yesterday he found out that he passed psych and felt the full enjoyment of the sembreak. but now, he'll be again embracing handouts and gripping highlighters under the romantic light of the study table. and then he realized, he missed medschool after all. he missed the pressure, the english speaking people, and the cadavers...

in less than 36 hours, he'll be back to being a zombie again.
in less than 36 hours, he'll accept that fact. whether he likes it our not.


/end

<edit> another schizo entry, i know. haha. </edit>