The Revalida

And there I was.

At the "Light of the End of the Tunnel", sitting in front of three respected doctors in the Academe. Tachycardic, devoid of REM, dangerous levels of cortisol flowing, record breaking eye bags almost as big as Kung Fu Panda's, speaking like a Neophyte reciting Medical Doctrines.

Beside my Tribunal is a Golden Letter. The sweetest Love letter to the Reverend Father Rector, asking him to attach the title, "Doctor of Medicine" to our names.  Outside was a luggage full of medical artillery. All clinical books and some basics. Medical Guidelines, Notes, and A Med Bag prepared for all possibilities (head mirror, DRE, Ophtalmoscope). No samplexes.

So there I was.

The Dreaded day of Revalida.

While walking that 50+ pound luggage, it made me realize that we bring all our books on Revalida day, well in fact, it was they, too who brought us there. All of those books inside my artillery had a hand in what kind of doctors we've become and will become. As I walked in the wards of the hospital, there were the patients who taught us real manifestations of not just pathophysiologies of the ones we've read, but the realities of their finances, families, and most of all, their stories.

There are a lot of things you will realize during Revalida season.

Alam na agad namin ang ibig sabihin at isasagot sa mga tanong na, "Kelan ka?", "Sino ba sayo?", "Ilan na daw? Meron daw kanina?", "Tapos ka na?" - pag may nakita kaming naglalakad na may dalang maleta, kapag hindi pa ngumingiti yung may dala, magsasabi ka ng "uy goodluck" kahit di mo masyadong kilala, at "congrats" kapag nakita mong masaya na sya dala ang maleta.

When you hear other people talking about cases, you will think, "Hala bat di ko alam yun" and scramble for it.  When people ask about "what's your top ten?", or "ano mga alas mo?" we know that theyre asking about which emergencies are we most confident with.

There are a lot of opinions about Revalida. Some people are against because it decides whether you will be graduating or extending.  For some, there's an additional pressure because they need to impress their tribunals to get a Benemeritus or Meritissimus because they need it to get their honors. Yes, it is tribe dependent, and luck dependent.

but I am Pro-Revalida for 3 reasons.

1. Before they let us loose, we are forced to review EVERYTHING. From Anatomy, to Histology, to Ethics, to Epidemiology. We recap how we hated Pharmacology. We realize our weak points and we're forced to look back: we realize the subjects that we took for granted, and the subjects we samplexed our way through. We even thought, "how the hell did I pass this subject before?!" - in the entire process, some people might have been pissed because they think the agony is unnecessary. But for me, it was an assessment of how equipped I am for the outside Universe.

2. We get to be humbled. We are forced to know everything, and in the process we realize how much we don't know. We realize that no matter how vast we've covered during our entire stay in Medschool, it is an infinitely wider and ever-expanding art that takes an infinity to master. That the more we know, the more we realize how much more we do not know. Revalida was an assessment on how un-equipped I am for the outside Universe. And from that standpoint, I was humbled.


3. And my most favorite reason why I am Pro-Revalida: Because I already passed it and there is no way I will agree that the ones after me will get a more lenient pass to graduation. Haha. They should suffer the way we suffered. Become anxious the way we did, and prayed to all the Saints and Dead Relatives and invoke Heaven and the stars and ask the Universe to conspire with you. I want them to feel the fear that we've felt,. Because after they pass... the feeling is unf*ck*ngbelievable. It's as if God has lifted the cross you've been bearing for months. As if you've been relieved from ambubagging for 5 hours. As if UST has won the Basketball Championship again. The moment you're walking out with the Golden Ticket, signing the Graduation Records, you feel like you're on top of the world. You'll feel like the clouds are lifting your 50 pound luggage and you feel like hugging everyone. You'll call your parents and tell them, "Doktor na po ako", you will call all your loved ones even your dog to tell them that. Then you will run to the clerks room and share gratitude to the ones you have shared the same battlefield. I am Pro-Revalida because I want them to feel the Glorious Gratitude of that day. Of the day God will attach the MD to our names.

Yes, Revalida is tribe dependent, and luck dependent. But I believe it is also Faith dependent.

Few days before that, you will rest your faith into His hands. You will come face to face with your fears, of what-if-I-get-a-Pelvic-Organ-Prolapse, or what-if-I-get-NearDrowning, or what-if-my-Tribe-eats-me-for-Lunch. And beyond those fears, you will be left with one thing to hold on to: your Faith. That God will give you what you can, and if ever you've failed, it is not time. Yet. In God's time. It would be a sweet surrender of Lord-Ikaw-na-bahala-sakin-ha?, and you will feel God in nevery answer you throw with conviction, with every differentials you've confidently ruled out, and you'll feel His presence the moment they tell you, "Congratulations, you are now a Doctor"

....

So there I was At the "Light of the End of the Tunnel", sitting in front of three respected doctors in the Academe. Tachycardic, devoid of REM, dangerous levels of cortisol flowing, record breaking eye bags almost as big as Kung Fu Panda's, speaking like a Neophyte reciting Medical Doctrines. Beside them is a letter that I know was mine for the taking ever since I entered medschool.

This is the day I claimed to be mine ever since grade school when I told my dad I wanted to become a doctor.

And now, finally, even it took me a long time, I'm still proud that I made it.

+Basta Ikaw, Lord.

Congratulations, UST Medicine Batch 2013!