Dance

I never learned how to dance. I'd like to think it's not for me since I know now that everything is not for everyone. And not everyone could do anything. But this specific talent, is really something I always wanted to try but failed. Many times. Maybe because I look silly, or I try too hard, or I give too much, or over think every step, every move, every flicker and sometimes get distracted with the music.

I'm choosy with what music to dance on. I want it loud but most of those loud sounds doesn't make sense. And I don't want it too soft that you can't feel it. I don't want the music to be too simple, for what till the challenge be? Yet I don't want it to be too complicated for my feet knots while chasing the music. Sometimes I wait too much for that perfect song, and at the end of the night realizing that song already passed without me even knowing it.

So I wait for another song. And a chance for another dance. I wait.

And when a dance comes, I grab it with too much conviction
I stride too wide, and wrap too hard,
that whoever dances with me gets tangled in a trap.
Maybe my feet are just too big, or my groove is simply off.
Or maybe they're just raw, untamed, fires of synapses due to a highly unstable cranium.
I've kept many moves to be given, but forgot the art of delivering it.

What I need to realize is that I must not over think this art. What I should do is to just let go. Take the music in and let it flow through these veins as my limbs will flow with the sound of whatever music is playing. I need to breathe it like oxygen and let it mix with my blood and life will spontaneously give meaning to each beat. Let if flow. And let it go.

Unfortunately, when I give in to too much music, when I dance in euphoria, it harms the one I'm nearest to, hurting even myself.

And it shouldn't be.
And so, I should stop trying.