The Scrubs

The OR Tour

8AM,  in the Holy Cabinet of Scrub suits of my Father's. a pair of dark blue scrubs waited to be picked up. But it's not the Anesthesiologist-Pain Management Specialist who grabbed it. It was the Med Student, wearing it not for fun, not for bragging. Finally wearing it because the situation demands it. Finally.

With the words "I E Edejer MD" on it with the logo of "Department of Anesthesiology" below. The scrubs that was worn had been witness to craniotomies, appendectomies, CABGs, and even circumcisions. Been a cloth to bloody traumas. Been exposed to the sterile areas several times. Gave warmth in the cold nights of endless duties, conferences, and operations. This pair of scrubs have seen people die, but has seen more lives get better. It's the last pair of scrubs that patients will see before they get to sleep in the table. It's a battlegear that won a lot of wars.

For the pair of scrubs, thisOR tour was just nothing. but for me, God knows how I waited for this. no matter how petty this activity is, it means my whole career. Nah, I'm exaggerating...But seriously, I just love the scent of (almost) sterilized air, sterile everything (except my balls), clean shiny scalpels, clamps. I love opening people up, fixing what's wrong with them. I love the feel of flesh slicing, and blood coagulating, and suturing.

It was like having a mental orgasm being in there, getting face to face with the brain. The fucking brain, baby. Dr Tan had us toured at OR PAY (not the charity ward), because he has an interesting case for us to see. Amazing. Absolutely amazing. Though it was not the first time i was witness to a craniotomy, the feeling was all different... All Holy. Holy Shit.

(im the biggest guy at the back)

And, this, will definitely be not the last. For I will step in the OR again, and again, and again... until the time comes that I will get paid for doing it. Until the time comes that I will bring my own set of students to see my feat. Until the time comes that I'll bring my kids inside and watch daddy make money. hahaha. 

And by that time, I will have my own set of scubs. A scrubs with my name on it. A scrubs created for me to wear.

A pair of scrubs that will one day have his own story to tell.

AntiPsychotic

i guess the Pharma department should make an "evidence based" learning system where they give out a free sample for everyone and take the drugs that we might have to prescribe one day. at least we get to experience the effects and adverse effects first hand, right?


we had antipsychotics this week and I thank the Pharma Gods for not giving us a quiz last tuesday. It's gonna be (another) disaster when it happened but good thing it didnt. While having 5 minute breaks between antipsychotics, and antidepressants and all, i asked myself: "has any medical student taken stuff like these?" why can't we try one for fun and make Med a better and happier place for at least one day? Of course, they wont make us use it.


The difference between a Patient in the Psych ward and a Medical Student is that the Psych Ward peeps are properly medicated, and we, med students, are not.

So we treat ourselves with our crazy dose of prescription:


Rx
    1) Red Horse, 500mL
        # 5 bottles,
        Take orally, consume in 3 hours
        Until symptoms alleviate.
       
         NB if symptoms still persist, fast drift IV, 500mL.

     2) Sizzling Sisig, 200 g
         Take orally in sync with drug #1 to pacify vomiting reflex
         with Chili sauce recommended.
        
         Apply drugs with supervision of a friend.
         Warning: that friend might look better and better after every intake of Alcohol.

Repost: Hello, Again

Bihira lang naman mapublish ang Sulo (official organ ng UST-FMS), at bihira lang mapublish ang gawa ko (na walang halong kontrobersya. hahaha.) So, nagsama ang dalawang bihira.

Maraming salamat kay:
Dra Dakis - sa pag-edit at pagbalita sakin na nasama pala ang gawa ko.
Corie Iniego - sa pagsabing dapat magpasa ako ng article sa Sulo.


Sa mga naniniwala sa aking talento (kuno) sa panunulat (buti hindi sa panunulot :p ) Maraming Salamat.

Eto ang original, at undedited repost ng "Hello Again" na malay ko bang mapuoublish pala sa School Paper ng Med.

BTW. ipapaframe daw namin to. hahahaha

===

Hello, Old Friend
posted june 14, 2008. link, here

"Did you miss me?" she said

"I dunno. Well, did you?" he said

"I guess so. Its been almost 2 months. And you didnt even bother to visit me"

"Why the hell would I visit you?"

"i thought we had something." she replied, "though we went off on a bad note,"

"Well, I was starting to have feelings for you. I stayed up so many nights for you. And sacrificed quite a lot of gimmicks. a lot of times when i shouldve slept, or went out with another. but still, i chose you. and then, what did i get in return?"

"So you're blaming me now?" she asked

He was silent.

"I know, and I understand,. i know i am someone hard to conquer. A lot of people did the same sacrifice as you did for me. Some of them did even more. I may be harsh on guys like you, but im doing it for a reason. I'm sorry on what happened last april 10..."

He was avoiding her eyes and just sat beside her. "I'm sorry too. I had a lot going on that time"

"i know"

"but, yeah, it's my fault. I didnt do what i was supposed to do. I have a lot of shortcomings to you, you know. i was just too overwhelmed with your presence. you're too, great, and hard to handle. too unstable. one second where i dont look at you for a while, and then, you're too far away that i cant follow you."

"but a lot of others did."

"i am not them"

then they were silent

she was looking at her left chest pocket. the pocket where a nameplate used to hang proud and shining. and he noticed that she was looking and he shyly said, "i know. im not worthy"

"it's just a name plate" she said

"ill get another one. a gold one this time." he sighed. "so im back. what now?"

"im glad you're back"

"me too. im glad im back. well ok -- i missed you, you know that? the feeling sucks when im so anxious to meet you tomorrow for a big test, or a practicals, or a marathon lecture, or a marathon exam. i know the feeling sucks, but i missed that. i missed the drive to wake up the whole night. i missed the rush. i missed the feeling of passing, and drinking right after. i missed that. i missed you."

"i missed you too. i prepared a harder hell for you this year, but it seems like things have changed. maybe next year. and you better prepare for that. in the mean time, fix yourself first."

"be kind to my friends. i'll be needing their samplexes. and notes."

"you know me. im never kind."

"i know. haha. but youre worth it, i hope"

she just smiled. then said, "just do better this time, ok?"

"duh. of course. of course. i learned the hard way. the long way. and i dont want that freakin lesson again"

and then he went home. having that weird feeling of maybe accepting his fate, and hoping that he'll do better this time around. Last year was quite a ride for him. This time, it's a whole new set of people, new last number on the year to graduate, a new level of studying, but still that same dream, same drive, and same old love he felt when he first saw her face. he was determined to conquer her. and the bragging rights that comes right after.

it was karl and med talking

the Road to Doctor-dom: the Second Week of my Second Second Year

so 2 weeks of Second Year Medical School, after tons of orientations from different subjects i finally felt like we're back in the Hard Court once again. Ganap na uli akong med student at ititigil na ang pabanjing banjing last year.


Surgery 1 was a little disappointing. I expected otomies and ectomies and introduction to the starlight shiny surgical instruments and the coolness of Thomasian Surgical Practice... but unfortunately, the first lectures were... Blood, Hormones, and Immunology. Motherpooper. My hatest hatest haaaaatest topics in the Medical Field (so far.) I hate talking about coagulation, and the factors, and magcrophages and crap. I hate prothrombin and bleeding time and crap.  I want hands-on suturing and slicing and dicing. I want suspense. I want to take a peek at an endoscope, Tie wounds, Retract and crap. Too bad wala nang cat surgery para sa batch namin :( dahil daw may bagong rules and ethics board at masyado daw maarte yung mga dapat gawin kaya wag nalang daw. boo-hoo for us.

like what Dr Dakila said, "Medicine is easy". Cmon.

But when Practical Minor Surgey came, nabuhayan ako sa Neurosurgeon naming faci. Di ako nakakatulog sa mga kwento niya. Almost an hour of talking and talking and talking and my heart was just pouding with joy just because Im hearing stories from the Surgical Universe.

And the topic was just handwashing and sterilization. Haha.
 

Anesthesiology! Dad's Sanctuary. His forte. So I have to do good. No. Not just good. I Have to be great. I may not want to be an Anesth but of course I have to make Daddy proud... and so far... No quizzes yet. Sana OK ang faci namin pag practical applications na.

Medicine I Med bag is still in the making. And I still have to raid my dad's stash for any treasures I might use. This time, we get to be (they make us feel), like real doctors. It's really how to save a life.

Hindi na ako mangangarap na maging unang pasyente ko ang isang artista o hot model kasi malabo yung makita sa UST non-pay, pero pinagdadasal ko namang sana'y hindi isang uhuging bata na iyak nang iyak ang una kong pasyente. Huwag sana mukhang tiyanak. Huwag sana mabahong hininga. Huwag din yung nakasalok ng rabies. Huwag sana coma patient (pano ko maiinterview yun?), at higit sa lahat, oh my Lord, huwag sana siyang mamatay sa harap ko. Buena mano naman sana diba? First patient ko yun eh. Yung mga Diabetes lang or TB or Sheehan's Syndrome or GERD. Or pseudohermaphroditism, ok na yun.

MPPRC Chill. If in Medicine I, we get to practice being a doctor, at MPPRC, we are trained how to think like a real doctor. Act like a researcher. And how to die like a clerk (it depends on who your faci is, of course). And. And, they emphasized how that 5% to be inserted to all M-P-P Subjects and it could be a lifesaver. I sure hope it will.

Pathology is like putting Physio, Biochem, Histology, Genetics, and Anatomy aligned in a bowling lane, and then God struck them down. and our role is to study how the pins fell. How near are they to each other and if the pins could be reversed. But wait, there's more. The universe is just so awesome that they gave a name to each change, each lesion, each abnormality, normality, degree of abnormality, and severity.

... in my own innocent eyes, they all look the same. for me, the damaged ones are either the less colored or the overcolored cells. And I can't name them. Yet.

Pharma Pharma Pharma
God made Pharma. And God has permitted the department to give us a 150 item essay test on Tuesday for 3 topics. 3 like the Holy Trinity Perhaps. God made Pharma because being a doctor will never make sense if we don't know how to fix what's wrong with it. If God made Pharma out of his image and likeness.

I'm doing a lot of self hypnotism lately. I repeat the words, "I love PharmaI love PharmaI love PharmaI love PharmaI love PharmaI love Pharma" over and over again until I believe that she loves me too. That Katzung loves me too. It's quite effetive actually. It's just that it consumes half my study time. The moment i saw E-tho-succ-i-mide (at mali pa daw ang spelling, thanks ate carms! ;p ETHOSUXIMIDE!) and Phenytoin and Levodopa and friends, ipinasadiyos ko na lamang ang lahat.  But God can't memorize that for me eh?


and oh, by the way... Kamusta na ang Epid research?






Hmmm... So that's my week. If you think i'll make a weekly digest for this "road to doctordom" churva: No, i wont. I just want to kill time and release the English-speaking out of me.